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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

We all know that "all men do it", but someone has just suggested that "all women do it too"....but I don't

85 replies

ALittleBitPrude · 20/08/2007 21:51

Do you look at porn?

Do you masterbate?

Because someone on here has just suggested that most women look at porn - but I don't (apart from checking DPs habits on hte Cached files).

DP assumes I masterbate - but I don't (I amnot saying I have never done so).

Am I alone, am I a freak?

OP posts:
ELF1981 · 20/08/2007 22:24

what are your issues with him masturbating? sometimes people need a little release, it does not limit their feelings at all for their partner

kitsandbits · 20/08/2007 22:25

yes and yes

but not boy porn ewww,

lol

JodieG1 · 20/08/2007 22:26

Yes and yes and all sort of porn.

JodieG1 · 20/08/2007 22:27

We have lots of sex as well. He masturbates and watches porn too. I don't see the problem. We watch it together sometimes too.

clumsymum · 20/08/2007 22:27

But for some people, it just doesn't work.

Some people would love to be able to get there by themselves (such as those whose dh's work away alot of the time), but just feel ridiculous, and can't let go to that point on their own.

Such people would like to learn how, but now in their 40's don't think it will every be a release for them.

Original poster
ALittleBitPrude · 20/08/2007 22:28

My main issue is that frequency of masterbation is significantly greater than frequency of intercourse....

i.e. (and I know it is prob in my head) his hand is better than my fanjo.

(I don't object to occassional, and realise that most men do it - it is the balanc which I object(ed) to BTW)

OP posts:
macdoodle · 20/08/2007 22:30

yes and yes...and I have a rabbit

JodieG1 · 20/08/2007 22:32

The thing is that masturbating and sex are different and not something to compare. It's a whole different thing. If you never have sex and he masturbates instead then I would find that problematic but otherwise not. Maybe talk with him about it or just try to have sex with him more often? Make the first move and get him in the mood.

Original poster
ALittleBitPrude · 20/08/2007 22:33

If only Jodie....

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 20/08/2007 22:35

Have you tried to have sex with him then? Is that what you mean by if only or something else?

ELF1981 · 20/08/2007 22:38

Do you initiate it? Does he initiate it?

Original poster
ALittleBitPrude · 20/08/2007 22:40

This wasn't where I was planning to take this really, it was a genuine poll about - do you look at porn/masterbate. It wasn't realy a discussion about my own sex life.

Seeing as you ask - I am not able to initiate sex. I have tried and failed numerous times. From subtle to obvious. I have given up trying. I have vowed never to try again. Sex is now on his terms and his terms only. I can live with that. I don't have a problem wityh that. I have adjusted to that.

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 20/08/2007 22:40

I occasionally look at porn. Just whatever I can find on PinkWorld and I do masturbate. I think its completely normal to.

Califrau · 20/08/2007 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paulaplumpbottom · 20/08/2007 22:40

It is perfect for period pain.

Original poster
ALittleBitPrude · 20/08/2007 22:41

Childbirth seems to have permanently solved my period pain problems.

OP posts:
SixKindsofCrisis · 20/08/2007 22:43

What is a rabbit> I'm terrified to google it in case I get onto sites that will make me

ELF1981 · 20/08/2007 22:44

ALittleBitPrude

I know you didnt want this thread to turn to this route, but WHY can you not initiate sex? I found after my daughter that I just wasn't up for it much, and DH bless him got a few knock backs. But then I realised that he'd stopped trying as much (why bother when he knows he'll get a knock back) and I wasn't trying either. So I made more of an effort, luckily I'd re-gained my sex drive, and now its a 50-50 between us.

Still have the odd time by myself though, never caught him at it and he says he doesn't, but he knows I do, and that sometimes is a turn on to him.

paulaplumpbottom · 20/08/2007 22:45

www.annsummers.com/products.asp?gid=6&cat=2 You'll love it

Original poster
ALittleBitPrude · 20/08/2007 22:45

rampant Rabbit - a toy from anne summers.

As far as I have been able to tell from MN, the ears vibrate and it has rolly balls or something...

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 20/08/2007 22:45

I think you need to talk with him about it then. I assume by what you said that he turns you down? Sex isn't a one way thing and it shouldn't be all on his terms.

Original poster
ALittleBitPrude · 20/08/2007 22:46

Why - I guess thats a question you should be asking DP. I have and the answer wasn't pleasant and didn't come with any suggestions for improvememts.

OP posts:
SixKindsofCrisis · 20/08/2007 22:48

Thank you ppp and albp. Golly.

JodieG1 · 20/08/2007 22:48

What did he say then?

boogiewoogie · 20/08/2007 22:48

I don't unless I'm showing dh what to do when we make love.

I've never owned a vibrator and would feel silly about using one. dh had a go at me once just for reading an article about them in a newspaper supplement. Call me naive but I later found out that he still does it himself what a bloody hypocrite!