He's cheating isn't he?

[Leileilei04]

So DD 6 was getting ready to go to dancing class and OH said he would wait for her in the car. I went out to the car just to give him a hug, he was on his phone and wasn't expecting me, the colour drained from his face and he was trying desperately to click off whatever he was on its not porn as I don't care about that and he wouldn't be watching it in his car .

I let it go later that night I asked him to send me a video of DD he got his phone but was hiding the screen on his WhatsApp so I couldn't see.
Then the next day OH cleaned the bathroom, hoovered up and done the dishes (he doesn't do that without me nagging). He suggested taking me to a nice restaurant next week then talking about taking some time off work to spend time with me he's never normally this nice .

The frequency of sex is the same nothing changed there
He's gone to work now in London til Friday evening, (he stays at his parents 3 nights a week to work).

My gut instinct says something fishy going on I have no idea how to get on his phone and I'm just wondering where to go from here.

Ooh dodgy. Dig dig dig.

Your gut isn't often wrong and you know him far better than anyone.
Are there any other signs?
Taking care of his appearance?
Taking his phone to the bathroom?
Watching what he eats?
Buying new clothes?
New aftershave?
Going to the gym more?
Does he usually turn his phone away from you?
It's a big conclusion to jump to based on what you have said here.

Watch and wait is all you can do. Dont warn him by asking.
Hope it's nothing like cheating.

We have been having serious problems for 18 months already engaged. Hence why I jumped to the cheating conclusion

Observe and pay attention.

Agree. Observe and pay attention.
Get legal advice and get the financial side in order, just in case.

@Sadiesnakes Not new to relationships at all I'm 43, I was married for 16 years and have been with my now fiance for 5! I just refuse to let cynicism rule otherwise I'd be miserable and bitter too

Ofgs relationships sub forum.

Does very much sound like he’s cheating. Doing housework when he doesn’t usually unless prompted and offering you a meal out. Sorry op.

In that case, I agree with others.
Bide your time.
Put on your Sherlock hat and start digging.
If you don't want to do that and you want to confront him then he gets no warning.
None at all. Wait until he's been on his phone for a bit over the weekend and ask to see his phone right there and then.
His response to this request will tell you everything you need to know.

I think you need to take him up on this lovely dinner, load him up with lots of wine and get at his phone when he falls asleep when you get home. Find out for yourself, even if you need his fingerprint to do so.

Online gambling?

Do you have access to online banking? Or an email account?

Woahhhh hang on there could be a few different things. He could be talking to a mate who is having problems themselves,or he could be chatting to a mate about his and your problems. It could be to do with health or work and numerous things that he might not want to worry you with...yes there is a possibility it could be a female but then there are other possibilities too. I can't imagine he would be sat in the car talking to "the other woman". Yes something feels off but the evidence would suggest it could be a few different things. What's his previous form? Has he cheated before? Lied?

@booboo24 I agree

Sometimes when my DP gets on my nerves I'll have a moan about him on WhatsApp to my friend (lighthearted moan) and there's been occasions where he's been near me and I've had to quickly close the chat so he doesn't see 😂😂
On another note my DP once went upstairs and was sat in bed for ages in the middle of the day so I crept upstairs and went and sat next to him cause I wanted to know what he was doing that he had to be on his own upstairs. He quickly shut his phone down and looked really suspicious so I immediately thought he was messaging someone so I literally became a psycho on the spot and demanded to see his phone because of how quickly he came off his phone.. He said he was planning a suprise and I didn't believe him.. He let me see his phone and turns out he was actually planning a surprise pregnancy massage and spa day.. (I was pregnant at the time)

Dont confront him, watch him, check internet history if you can. Sorry but if you straight up ask him he will get defensive if he is in fact cheating. I know alot of people think its wrong to snoop but I've learned from experience you have to trust your gut then do some detective work

I've been a regular on here for the past 5 years, but @Sadiesnakes, people need to be aware that you're going to get a distorted view on here, people are here usually because they've had a crap time, you don't generally get people posting on here to say how wonderful things are.

Nothing like a drip feed.
Hope it isn't as bad as you think and he is perhaps trying to get things back on track.

Ask him!

Put screen time on on his phone at the start of the week and then check it at the end! U can see a lot from that!
How many messages, what time etc

Can you pretend your phones dead and just ask to borrow his phone ?

See what his reaction is, or how long it takes for him to give you the phone? (may be deleting stuff)

He's behaving as though he has a guilty conscience over something.

Put screen time on on his phone at the start of the week and then check it at the end

This sounds interesting but how do you do it?

If you can confidently rule out an elaborate Christmas present or engagement etc then yes I'd be suspicious.