Ds challenging behaviour- think ex took to specialist and not consulted me

[cloudyscissors]

So abusive coercive ex, split a while back, ds 9 has v challenging behaviour and is on waiting list for cahms. Am resident parent, ex sees ds alternate wknds.

Ds mentioned daddy took him to see a dr in a house. He watched him play.
Lately, ds seems different when he comes back from ex. His behaviour used to peak as he hated going, but he seemed levelled out and I had some really nice intelligent conversations with him, not the usual meltdown and upset.

Call me mad or paranoid, but am seriously thinking ex has gone private behind my back, got a diagnosis ( probable adhd but trauma too) and got meds for just when he's at ex's.
From past experience I wouldn't put it past him. And he has the financial means.

I am fucking on my knees with the challenging behaviour and pretty desperate and isolated. Is this possible? Is it legal?

ADHD meds DO work instantly and DO wear off completely.

Whoever said “cumulative” etc- no, that’s not right.

Also, sporadic use is not dangerous, not physically anyway.

You take them, they work, after a time (4-8 hours depending on which type they are) they wear off. That’s it.

I wonder if your exh is wearing him out?
One of my brothers friends has ADHD and was medicated during school time as pps son is, sometimes he would come to mine after school and he'd play with my dad and brother. Dad has always been a big fan of active play, so running around and general horse play and the friend would be as calm and docile as anything for hours after.

So could it be that? He's just wearing your ds out over the weekend he has him?

Even if he's been seen privately, it would be usual for the private doctor to write a letter to the GP to keep them informed what's happening. Especially if they're prescribing any medication as the GP needs to know what the patient is taking in case the GP then prescribes something that interacts with it.

So I'd be requesting a copy of your son's notes from the GP. You don't need to tell them why. Usually the first request is free, and any subsequent requests have to be paid for.

How many private clinicians are there in your area that could offer a diagnosis? Call hem all up asking to make a second appointment. If they say they never had your DS as a patient say you must have made a mistake, if they recognize the name you can then request copies of medical records as PR parent.

Have you rang your GP? Specialists almost always send records to them.

If he did take him for ADHD evaluation, it would be good to find out so he can get on them with a proper schedule.

Your son should be old enough to tell you if they stopped at the chemist afterwards or if he has gone back or if his dad gave him medication.

Is there anyone you know who could ask your ex about it?
Do you have any communication with the ex at all about the son?
Does the ex know he's on a list for treatment?