We’re divorced, have 2 DC together and in new relationships. When we were married he was financially, emotionally, mentally and sexually abusive.
Every couple of months he’ll come up with some new way I’ve stepped out of line and send me a paragraphed message attacking my character, parenting, career and anything else he can think of, demand ‘respect’ and tell me that I must change immediately. I avoid seeing him or talking to him on the phone because I just get more of the same. It’s classic abuse in that it’s often when I’ve done something special or ‘unwomanly’ that makes him feel emasculated. He wants full control of everything, from my work pattern to DD’s hairstyles (not DS, funnily enough).
These messages send me straight back to when I had to live with his abuse. That feeling of sheer terror and despair. On several occasions I’ve been unable to go out to work because I’ve been curled in a ball shaking. I’ve had years of counselling and don’t get that feeling from visiting places I associate with him any more, just these messages.
He kicked off again yesterday and today. I responded calmly and told him - again - to stop sending me abusive messages. He carried on so I’ve just filed an online crime report. I don’t know what will happen with it, if anything, but I’m so relieved I’ve finally done something about it. It was a huge step to divorce him. Even if nothing happens, I feel like I’ve taken another step to be free of his abuse.
Just sharing to get it down.