Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Not sure what to do anymore. Need insight!

2 replies

jesswood86 · 18/11/2019 22:38

Hi everyone. First off thank you for taking the Time to read this.
My husband and I have been together for nearly 11 years. About 6 years ago I'd say, bad habits and signs of disrespect began. Not outwards abuse but he says things that belittle me, he talks badly about my family, he judges a lot of what I do and laughs at me. All of this has increased over the years. I have talked to him about his behaviour many times and even brought up separation and divorce if things don't change. I feel so resentful now and I hate it. I WANT to be together and love him and know he isn't who he is being right now. He is depressed and dealing with chronic pain daily so I know he is struggling. And I give him a lot of grace for that. I guess I just don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes I feel as if I'm overreacting and that I need to support him through this dark time no matter what. How could I possibly think of leaving right now as he's going through all this. But I am suffering too. Not to mention we have two small children. I don't know what to do before I can't bare this relationship anymore. We tried therapy a couple of very short times. We didn't work on things so we stopped going.
Any insight would be appreciated.

OP posts:
LouMumsnet · 21/11/2019 12:50

Sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time, @jesswood86 - we're just bumping this for you and hopefully someone will be along soon with some advice. Flowers

Windmillwhirl · 21/11/2019 13:02

I'm sorry life is so tough right now. It takes two for a relationship to work. You sound very loving and understanding and this abuse, and it is abuse from him, has been going on a long time.

There is no excuse for his treatment of you. I understand he is in pain, but that's not a free pass to vent at you any time he likes.

If he isn't prepared to change then you have two options: stay and continue being verbally abused; or leave.

Maybe you should consider counselling on your own? Is that an option for you?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page