Would you go on another date with him ?

[Phoenixxx]

Well the first date hasn't actually happened yet. We were meant to meet tonight, we arranged it on the app yesterday morning, confirmed the time and place and then i gave him my number for whatsapp.
He texted right away, hey it's Jack, and I didn't reply anything.
I get to the date today and 15 minutes later he hasn't showed up. I text asking where he is and he says "Oh I didn't hear from you today so I made other plans."
He said because I didn't text him today or say I was on my way he assumed I had ghosted him ?
I said no we had arranged it all yesterday and confirmed it and didnt have anything else to add.
Then I said to him that if he wasn't sure, why didn't he just text me to check it was still on rather than assuming it wasn't?
He had just put hey it's me, it's not like I had ignored his messages.
Anyway I guess I should have double confirmed today, I will know for next time.
He said hes really sorry and feels horrible and wants to take me out next weekend, would you go ?

If he wasnt sure it was still on, he could have just asked me.

What, so you could ignore him again?

Hi op

You don't need another poster telling you you should have text him
Good luck next weekend and let us know how you get on xx

No because I wouldnt have ignored it. I don't 'ignore' texts, I sent him mine , he saved me on Whatsapp and would have seen the picture was me.

Thank you :)

But you did ignore him 🤔

This genuinely sounds like a misunderstanding to me. If you were keen before, I’d give him another chance next week.

Yeah we have rearranged for next week, maybe hes been ghosted a lot before so I can see why he thought that, but lesson learned !

I'm going to be contrary - it wasn't you.

You'd made firm arrangements - why should you have replied to a non-message?

Up to you whether you want to give him a go...I'm not sure I would.

Starting off with such low expectations of people is why women get treated badly IMO.

Miscommunication, you didnt reply, whixh got his alarm bells ringing thinking u were gonna bail out. You turned up assuming everything that needed to be said had been said... u just need to communicate a bit better . But u live and u learn and thats what happens when u meet someone new. Give it another go.

OP take todays meeting as a blip in communication, if you are still having communication through this week - meet him at the weekend. If not, take it as it wasn't to be. If he is decent he will be in touch and want to meet you soon.

She's already said they've rearranged

It is very odd you didn't reply to him. I'd have presumed I'd been given a fake number and was ghosted.

Just accept you were in the wrong and move on.

I’m surprised your WhatsApp asking where he was went through.

You should have acknowledged his first message outside the dating app. If a woman had been him and posted she’d not heard anything everyone would be saying fake number etc

I disagree with pp's. You'd already made plans, does he expect you to have nothing else going on in your life?

His message didn't even require a response, he definitely should have got in touch and asked you again before he stood you up. This is on him.

And tbh I'd be wary about him. He's stood you up and then is trying to make it your fault, that's a red flag for him being manipulative imo.

I'd probably give him another chance, because he has been very apologetic but I'd be on high alert for any similar behaviour.

"This is on him."

It really isn't.

I say it's on him. People often exchange numbers by a 'hi' text or a missed call. I'd feel silly responding 'hi' to that nothing text. If he was unsure, he could have asked via message or via the app. What if he did get the number wrong? It's easy to write one digit wrong in a long phone number. Instead if saying "I messaged you, did you get it?" He assumes it's a fake number/ ghosting and stops ontracting her. Wouldn't it be better to check than just not bother to come to a pre arranged date?

You should have replied, but he should have checked.

Hmmmm if all the other signs are good, I'd give it one more chance.

You sound genuine so I’m sure you can salvage, and if not, his loss, we all learn whilst dating, it’s a minefield!

I agree with you OP. You had made plans, confirmed them, he sent you a non-message that required no reply. He should have shown up as planned. If he was uncertain, he should have communicated that rather than not showing up.

I'm amazed this is now being made out to be his fault!

Why are you even asking when you won't accept you may be wrong?

OP I get why you didn’t reply if you were talking on the app but I would definitely just explain and say you’d still like to meet and apologise for the mis communication. Which is all it was!

I wouldn't have replied either.
You WhatsApped him and he replied to confirm it was him, is what it sounds like.
Just a misunderstanding