Kids at wedding or not?

[Bringiton2019]

Myself and my partner are getting married. Putting bands up and the getting married in a few weeks. Nothing fancy, it's what we want.
My daughter is 7, and his kids are 15&18.
His won't be bothered but should my daughter be there?

I think they should all be there.
The teens will pretend they’re not bothered - but they are

Actually. It’s an all or nothing at all.
His children will resent yours being there if they’re not

Why on earth wouldn't your kids be there??

I agree all or nothing.

Do you not think you should all be there as a coming together as one family?

Why would you get married without your children????

Let me guess.
This is his idea

I've never understood children not being at weddings. Weddings should be huge family occasions and that includes children because...they're part of the family.

Agree with everyone else.
If you don't invite all three of your dc, you are building up big problems to start your marriage off.

Friends did that, all four teenagers very upset

All or none.

But really it is all.

I don't understand why your children wouldn't be there. I know some people don't have other people's children there, but never heard of anyone not even having their own kids there

I went out with a guy who’s father got married While on holiday without him there & he was still really upset about it as a full grown man & spoke bitterly of it. Not sure if he was invited or not.. or if they eloped or it was a surprise.

But can confirm do not get married without asking if they want to be involved. Leave them out but bring your little girl ? No. Just no.

Changed ours because ex wife got wind of it and decided to take his kids away. We changed the date and didn't tell anyone but gave his kids the option not to attend (they said try and stop us !!)
Fabulous wedding, with mine and his all there. Wouldn't have gone ahead without all being happy about it.

Why wouldn’t you have them?

We got married before DD was born but my step children were a key part of our wedding and we and they wouldn’t have had it any other way. It wasn’t a big do, only immediate family, but they’re the heart of our family and still talk about it as an important day.

My ex had his new wife's DD at the wedding, not any of ours. They made out they didn't care. They did. It showed his priorities loud and clear to them.
All or nothing, anything else is divisive and cruel imo

Also what if your daughter is also not bothered ?

I said my vows with our 7 month daughter screaming in my arms but I wouldn't change it for the world as she was there.
I couldn't not have invite my children to my wedding and like a pp said it should be all of them.

My dad got married without telling me or my sister (24 and 21 at the time) and it hurt even at our age, never mind being a teen.
At least give everyone the option.

All should be there. What are the advantages of excluding any of them?

Have all the children there, you are both parents - and it's 'banns', not 'bands'.

@Bringiton2019 Can you eplain the thinking behind potentially not inviting them please?

Who on earth wouldn't your DD be there (whether she wants to be there or not)?

I knew a couple who married in either 1999 or 2000, can't remember precisely even though I went to their wedding which was a lovely affair. He had been married before and had two teenage children, maybe 16 and 14 - who were not invited. Yet there were other youngsters including children, at the wedding, from the wider families. There were even special activities laid on for them so they didn't have to be with the stuffy older people all the time if they didn't want to.

How those boys felt about not being included in their dad's quite lavish wedding I can't imagine. They weren't invited because the couple felt 'it was for the best' that way. Huh! Not a good start in my opinion - however the couple are still together so something worked for them. I am not in touch now and don't know how the boys got on later.

What have his DC actually said?