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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheer me up with stories of meeting someone later in life

29 replies

Ritascornershop · 15/11/2019 04:52

I got divorced for very good reasons 13 years ago when I was in my early 40’s. I just assumed I’d meet someone and eventually did, was madly in love, and inexplicably he went from the sweetest guy in the world to a jealous, controlling idiot. In 13 years just one man has asked me out & it ended with my heart broken. I’m kind, have a job, a house, people say I’m pretty. But I feel invisible to men. I’ve tried online but can’t find the right person.

Can anyone tell me of meeting someone, or their mum or sister or friend meeting someone, after 50? I need a thin thread of hope!

OP posts:
dottydolly72 · 15/11/2019 05:38

That's really sad, but don't lose hope! Do you have any interests or hobbies? Your more likely to find someone at a group than you are online I think. Local community groups are a good start.. also helps to keep you connected.

madcatladyforever · 15/11/2019 05:58

20 years single mum, married at 40 for 20 years, husband buggered off. So sorry no happy ending as I don't want another one.
Sorry there is always something bloke out there but please try and look for quality not just someone who will do!

marriednotdead · 15/11/2019 06:23

Here you go!
Two ex MILs (don’t ask...)
First was widowed and 6 months later a chap from her church lost his wife. He approached her via a friend about 6 months later and they’ve been together ever since, married about 7 years ago. She’s now 82 and he’s in poor health but they’ve been so happy.
Other one moved into sheltered housing in her early 60s after hip issues. Met another resident who had been widowed as they did their shopping on the same day- warden suggested they shared a taxi. Now married and happy.

Finally, I met my DP last summer after 3 months of online dating. (I divorced twunt ex a couple of years before.)
The stories above made me feel I had time and to hold out for what I truly wanted.
We are both early 50s and he’s honestly the loveliest man I’ve ever met.

Don’t give up!

Ritascornershop · 15/11/2019 14:28

Married, thanks! That’s what I want to hear! Just stories of how it’s happened for other people. I’ve tried meeting people in real life too, so not really looking for tips there. Sometimes I’m okay with it, but mostly I’m dreadfully lonely and think it’s past time something nice happened for me romantically.

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 15/11/2019 14:54

In the same position as you OP.

SunnyNights · 15/11/2019 15:34

A colleague at work met someone in her fifties and they are now blissfully happy living by the sea!

She had been married before, and had a couple of short term relationships then was single for a number of years. She then met someone online, got married and the rest is history.

DeRigueurMortis · 15/11/2019 16:14

My great aunt met her husband aged 55.

They were very happily married for over 20 years until he sadly died aged 80.

She'd not been married previously having not met "the one". She always said it took her a bloody long time to find him but he was worth the wait Grin

forumdonkey · 15/11/2019 16:57

I met my lovely man at 47 and he was 53 and we've been together two and a half years. I'd been divorced a decade when we met and very happy single, so not looking for a relationship but he and our relationship is completely different to all the others before him.

I also worked with a man who met his now wife in his mid 50's. They're the same age btw.

I went to friends wedding three years ago. I met them through an ex bf and we've remained friends. They'd been together 5 year's before they married and she's now 60 and retired and he's a couple of years younger.

All of us are blissfully happy and I think when you've had some failed relationships, it makes you appreciate a good one.

mindutopia · 15/11/2019 16:59

My mum was single from about 40 (when she divorced my dad, who was a big arsehole) until probably about 58. Never dated anyone as she just didn’t want to deal with a relationship and had enough to focus on in life with her career and me.

Then she met my stepdad online dating. She’s 70 now. They couldn’t be happier. It’s the happiest she’s ever been in her life.

dramalessllama · 15/11/2019 17:30

I divorced my perfectly nice but completely incompatible husband when I was in my late 40's. I was never asked out afterward, unless it was by married men. wtf???

I met my current new husband while I was out mountain biking. We are newlyweds and are having the time of our lives.

I'm 53 this year. Hubby is 42. Go be you and do the things YOU love. Who knows who/what may cross your path. Cheers to you!

Joy69 · 15/11/2019 18:00

I'm 50 & been dating a lovely man for nearly 3 months. Early days yet, but he's perfect for me, which is nice after having 2 disastrous relationships after my marriage break up. He isn't someone who I would have picked out in a crowd, but I would have missed a gem.
My Dad also started dating at 79 & is amazingly happy Smile Goes to show age isn't a barrier.

ginghamstarfish · 15/11/2019 18:06

Sister in law, in the USA, met a lovely man a few years ago when she was 50, online dating. He's a professional musician, looks like George Clooney (she thinks!) and is very nice, and they are happily living together these past 3 years. Met my DH OLD when I was 42.

Ritascornershop · 15/11/2019 20:17

Thanks so much!! This is very cheering. Just to have a bit of hope helps :) I know I’d make a good partner to someone and now the kids are grown it’s even more apparent that I want to be with someone (good, not just anyone).

OP posts:
rockon67 · 15/11/2019 20:29

I know someone who was single for years and now has a partner in her 60s. Don't give up hope Thanks

DeeCeeCherry · 15/11/2019 20:33

3 years out of an awful relationship with a sly narcissistic bastard (think poison pen letters sent to friends & colleagues about me, he commiserated yet all the time it was him + he shagged my friend too), I thought I'd try dating again. I was 50 at the time.

Went on a 'concert' date with a man I'd met via mutual FB hobby. Awful. He was a total bore + spent much of the date chatting with mates he bumped into there. Made it clear he thought we'd be going back to mine afterwards. I thought nope.

I decided to get some fresh air during interval, turned to walk to the door and had an eyes meet across the room moment with my current DP. We've been together happily for 6 years now.

So I got a good date out of a crap date as it were 🙂

SonataDentata · 15/11/2019 20:42

My aunt married not once but twice in her fifties. She’s now in her early sixties and blissfully happy with her third husband.

Walkacrossthesand · 15/11/2019 20:50

I'm doing what you're doing ritascornershop - living as well & happy as I can, single, but not giving up hope of finding love again. I'm 60 next year, been single for pretty much 25 years...

Ariela · 15/11/2019 21:11

My friend's dad remarried after loosing his first wife to cancer when in his 60s. I think he was about 80, and met her through the dating ads in The Times.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 15/11/2019 21:44

I've been married twice but single in my 40s. I met someone who is amazing. Kind, generous, really funny and completely on my wave length. No red flags, intelligent and someone I can talk to for hours, we've been married now for two years and can honestly say I've never been happier in a relationship.

Tillyscoutsmum · 15/11/2019 22:09

My mum was widowed and went online dating a while after. She chatted to a few, had 2 dates and about 6 months after her 2nd date moved in. They've since married and bought a house together. They've been together 5 years so far. She was 61 when they met

Tillyscoutsmum · 15/11/2019 22:11

Conversely, I divorced late 30s and have been online dating on and off for about 6 years with limited luck. My mum despairs of me and can't understand why I've found it so difficult Confused. I am with someone now who seems bloody lovely. Earlyish days but fingers are firmly crossed!

Cecilandsnail · 15/11/2019 23:32

My mum's cousin's DH died she has was in her early 60s...she met someone quite soon after tbh (within the year I think!) and a few years on is still deliriously happy. Lovely couple they make too!

macblank · 15/11/2019 23:50

Get a.cuppa or glass of.plonk!

I've turned fifty this year, and 4 years ago, I found true love for the first time in my life.

When 6 months old, I was out into care by my parents cos... Despite slapping, hitting chucking around, he won't stop crying.

So Bagan 30 different establishments... Foster homes, children's homes, mal-adjustment units, special units,. Most had been before I was 5.

I was first abused at 3, and I still remember the feeling. It happened many more times since then, and all but one was meant to be a career or support worker. The odd one out, was a big kid too old really to be at the kids home.

All the way through childhood my mother ignored me, took my brother to Wales. I was left in the maladjustment unit, and then put in a children's home.

My dad (title only) often missed visits, or birthdays... I forgot! Oh, did I say we have the same birthday‽ Strangely he done well by his new wife and 5 kids.

I got into trouble and all sorts.

I had one adult relationship prior to my fiancee, which was a convenience for her n me, and after 8 years ended.

It was another 7 or so years before I found my soul mate, my twin, my better half, my true.love.

On my online profile input about my health nnmetal health, yet despite all that, she accepted me.

I fact on out first meeting... 13.00 outside Costa in town, on 15/09/2015 we had a date... Lasted 6 hours, and no police called either! At the end of the date, we both knew, we were the one.

She'd had a shit husband, for 28 years (a couple years of being partner) he not only didn't respect her, he ended it by cheating (she found out via a friend, who told him to confess or else... So he didn't bother).

So yeah, you can definitely find.love later on. It's NEVER TOO LATE.... NEVER.

My fiancee was 53 when we met and I was 46.

CatAndHisKit · 16/11/2019 00:40

macblank - a fascinating story, what a rough deal you had and then a reward at last, happy for you!

OP, thank for this thread, I love reading these stories too.

fit4more · 16/11/2019 04:56

Loving these stories. I’m unhappily married and 50 but reluctant to end things as I’m scared to be on my own at my age. These stories give me hope.

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