Bit of background, just gone on maternity leave, baby due in a few weeks, dp has 2 children from previous and one child’s birthday is just after Xmas. Also moved house 2 months ago.
My partner is having a right ole flap about affording Xmas, we owe some money out already £200) and he has written a short but expensive list of presents he wants us to get for his dc. I will just add I want to get the new baby a couple of bits as I’d feel really mean although I know the baby won’t know it’s Xmas - nothing major maybe spend £15 and a first Xmas bauble.
My partner is asking me to take out store cards/loans/apply for credit cards to see us through the Xmas period (he has bad credit) and I really do not want to. Initially I thought it was a good idea but then it dawned on me that it would be me paying this back out of my already reduced income and I don’t really see it’s fair. It’s like his thought process stops at actually obtaining the gifts and paying back is someone else’s problem as it’s not in his name, he hasn’t said this but this is how it comes across. I have been in a bad place debt wise and this year I have knuckled down and paid the majority off and I probably owe about £300-£350 on catalogues (down from about £1700 and credit card debt and other things) and I really don’t want to rack up more debt for the sake of Xmas.
I understand that my dp wants to give the kids an amazing Xmas (as do I) but I just really don’t see it’s feasible with our incomes and circumstances at the minute in time. He works full time and is paying his own debts which doesn’t leave us with a massive amount left over, on top of owing the £200 and then to buy Xmas presents.
I tried approaching it by saying why don’t we give dc1 (7) £x amount For Xmas and then on his birthday £x amount so he can put it towards or buy one of the most expensive items on the list and then it just spreads it a bit for us and takes the pressure off and I was met with a resounding no.
I feel like just saying well you sort it out then and don’t buy anything until the last minute but don’t come crying to me when you’ve got fuck all for them coz you’ve been stalling hoping a bloody lotto win will come in. I wouldn’t actually say it but this is how the tension is at the minute and last thing we need as a couple is to start falling out.
I’ve put A few times in my basket on groupon for dc2 (2) which should be enough for him and I’ve offered to buy some footy boots and a activity table for the kids off my catalogue (£80) and I think that’s me being sensible and reasonable.
Anyone have any ideas on how I can approach this? I’ve been thinking Poundland for Lego bits but I know for a fact my dp won’t approve because it’s not the Lego brand. I just feel like I can’t win.