Do you buy each other Xmas presents?

[fantango]

Dh and I don't. Our reasoning being we share a bank account so if we both want something, we just buy it ourselves iykwim. Obvs we buy for the kids and our parents but for each other at Xmas, nope.

I was talking to some colleagues and came away from the conversation feeling were total oddities, that our relationship is frazzled.

Yes, something thoughtful and unexpected and that doesn’t break the bank. Is not just generic bath and body stuff or booze or books) In the past we weren’t too bothered and just got what we wanted when we could afford it, but there’s something very nice about the ritual of finding a present, and giving it (And receiving something thoughtful) that has a much stronger appeal. Without sounding up my own arse, waiting to get things we want/didn’t know we wanted as presents has made us more mindful about our consumption (maybe me more than him) but we both agree it improves things to have nice surprises and things to look forward to dotted throughout the year.

Yes we do. And also we spend way more on each other than we spend on the dc No idea how that’s happened!

Jeez just read that back and realised I sound like a promo for capitalism 😂 I don’t know, enjoy your life and mark special occasions however it works for you

We do. It's not about the money it's about being thoughtful and attentive to reach other and having something nice to open on Christmas Day knowing that DP has made an effort.

We buy a couple of things for ourselves that we wouldn't normally buy and give them to the other to wrap. We're both fussy, hate choosing gifts and hate waste.

No, but we've only recently imposed that rule. In the past he's been awesome at getting presents for me, but he's so hard to buy for and has the annoying habit of just buying as he goes, so anything he would really like, he's generally not had the patience to wait for.

The first year we said no gifts, I'd already bought his (and excelled for once) so that year I got nothing and his was amazing. Last year I stuck to it and he did me a hamper of thoughtful things. But he got nothing 🤦‍♀️
This year we've already had the conversation.

There's nothing either of us want or need, so we would be buying for the sake of it. We prefer to just watch the DC open theirs.

We don't. We buy what we want when we want it. We just make it nice for the kids and that makes it fun for us. No one could get me a gift I haven't already bought if I'd wanted it anyway.

I wouldn't care what other people say to be honest, if you're both happy with not buying each other then that's fine. We do buy each other because I love choosing something for him and I like receiving something too, it's nice to do something for each other and not just the children.

We used to but finances are a bit tighter so we are just focusing on the kids ATM

I'm sure we'll get back to it again one day

We have separate money and we do get each other small (

Why would wrapping my own gifts be depressing? Receiving stuff I don't like or want is far more depressing to me and wasteful. I prefer to have things I'll use even if no one buys me anything, I wish people would save their money instead of getting me a gift.

Yeah lots. Same bank account too which can make it difficult to buy surprises but we manage.
I'm honest we often spend more on each other than the kids.

My DH is fab at buying presents.

We used to buy each other a book, wrapped it up, opened after lunch, and that was christmas sorted

We set a limit eg £30 and then buy a few presents. We use a thing we heard from a friend "Something you want, something you need, something to eat, something to read " as it's nice having a little pile to open even if one is just socks or a choc bar

Me & DP buy each other small presents + have a nice night out on Boxing Day.

We always have, but this year I've said no! Both of our birthdays are in December and we get married in June next year, we have 3 DC and could do with saving a bit!

Not really as we just tell the other what we want and then buy it wrap it and it's just something to unwrap on the day. Really I just see it as buying a small something for ourselves. It's not big things we buy. I got fed with returning everything I bought him. In our whole family we only buy for children. It's brilliant and a lot cheaper as well as str

Pressed too soon..... and a lot less stressful is what I meant to say. I don't think you're odd at all.

Ah excellent I'm not alone! Yes it does mean I don't get any gifts for Xmas but I'm totally ok with that. Xmas is all for the kids imo. I'd hate the embarrassment of pretending to like something if I didn't and then let it gather dust; what a waste of money.

We buy each other presents, we have a joint account for bills and also separate accounts. Both work full time, no kids. I don't think Christmas is just for kids but then we don't have any so maybe that's why

Yes usually around £100 maybe a little more if we see something else the other will love. A piece of jewellery, clothing etc. We have no children at home to buy for and as they are older we spend less on them anyway.

Yes we do, my ex husband and I used to too. Joint bank account and children make it trickier but I love buying the presents for him almost as much as for the kids!

There's no right or wrong though, if you're happy that way then that's fine, and it sounds as if you are, so don't let anyone else make you feel you're doing anything wrong.

Yes we do. Some years its something that the other has asked for, others it is something we've come up with ourselves. And some years they are expensive, other years far less but thoughtful for the recipient (I've been given a nice lunchbox one year, which was expensive for a lunchbox but not for Christmas, but was so great a present I loved it! for example). There are usually some small items tucked away - like a Christmas beer for DH in the Christmas Eve Hamper, or some amaretti biscuits smuggled under the tree for me, as well.

Yes, always! And even write each other cards every year and for birthdays and Valentines too We wrap up presents and always make a surprise.

Yes, though I’m not that bothered either way. We don’t share a bank account for these sorts of things (I consider gifts personal expenses, our joint account is only for joint expenses). But it’s a nice way to show you appreciate each other. It’s the effort of thinking of something nice for someone and getting it that counts and it’s nice to unwrap something on the day.

My mum was a single parent. There was no one to buy her gifts (until I was old enough to earn money and get to the shops). So she used to buy herself things she wanted, wrap them and put them under the tree for Christmas morning. She knew what they were and paid for them herself, but I think it made spending Christmas alone with just me seem a little more jolly.