Do our crushes know?

[KirstyHasLeft]

Do you think people know when someone has a crush on them?

I have a terrible crush on someone. We rarely speak. But I am sure as hell that I behave like a teenager around her - even if I really try to be cool and normal.
We are both married and have DC. So nothing can ever happen. But I have thought of nothing except for her for over a year now.. Surely, she must have noticed, right?

Would you be horrified or flattered if someone crushed on you? Or just sorry for the poor pathetic person?
Anyone with experience?

Why do you think she noticed? Have you given signs that you like her? Chances are she probably wouldn’t notice unless you are obvious like staring at her or making excuses to contact her etc. And even then she might not really notice...unless she has an interest and looking for signs.

Haha, I have often wondered the same, like maybe there is a big neon sign on my forehead every time I have to speak to my crush! We too are both married with DC but it does make my working day a little brighter so I allow myself to drool silently!

I think sometimes they might pick up on it even if they choose not to do anything about it

@Mamabear12 I do stare at her. And she catches me. And then I look away...
Or we both look into each other eyes for inappropriate amount of time.
I am not 13, I promise ! .. :D

They often do know, although I've no idea how.
It's a natural way for relationships to start!

I know what you mean op, it’s like how could someone not know all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room?

There's always the danger that if your crush knew you were crushing on them, they'd feel very uncomfortable and not want to be near you. You can't always assume that they'd be flattered and want to reciprocate.

I know that someone in my close friendship group has a crush on me. I think he has no idea I know at all.

Little things give it away. Weird little "proud" looks at me when I have achieved something and he's found out. Excitement when he finds out I'm going to be at something he is going to be at. Catching him staring at me. The biggest thing that gives it away are the times he is deathly silent. One time recently I was talking about a guy I've met and quite like and a female friend and I were huddled together quite quietly talking about him and looking him up on social media...I totally forgot the friend was even there until I heard him say quietly to one of the other guys who could see over my shoulder, "what is he like? Is he good looking?". He sounded a bit sad and I realised, despite there being other conversations going on in the group at the time, he'd been listening quite intently.

I also noticed that when everyone in the group was talking about sex, he was totally silent but listening intently to everything I was saying (we were talking about preferences). He also didn't join in the conversation at all which was rare for him, I've known him for years...he's always been the first to contribute to any even remotely kinky conversations in the past!

He also made a big deal of saying he wouldn't be able to attend a birthday party I will be at and definitely carefully checked for my reaction.

So my advice, be careful about when you go silent around your crush! It is a dead give away. Go easy on the staring too.

NameChange84 I guess it can go either way. When I was young (teenage years) I used to be super shy and would go silent and often ignore my crushes. Imagine, my ultimate crush would call me and ask me out or to go to a party with him and I would say I was busy (even though I wasn’t!). I spent my weekend nights watching tv ! Or he would call to chat and I would have nothing to say, as if my mind went blank.

So when I got older, I’ve made conscious effort to not do this when I have a crush (otherwise they probably think I’m so rude! Or strange lol). So I make effort to talk, say hi and smile etc. But I do this w everyone so treat them the same 😀 I guess my only give away is I might look at my crush from a distance. But catch myself so try to not do this.

I'm not sure, I'm really close friends with the person I've a crush on and tbh we're more flirty if we're drunk. If we're sober we're incredibly awkward and have no idea how to interact.

Someone who (it turns out) fancied the pants off me mentioned an incident when we were putting up a shelf together in our mutual workspace.

He said that there was a definite spark between us and that at the moment in question I must have felt it too.

Tbh all I was thinking was that I wanted him to stop talking and get the job finished so I could go and do something else.

He got off with my friend the week after and I was really relieved!

I think this is very straightforward.

If the person isn't interested in you, they 100% know you have a crush as it's obvious to an objective person as crush 'love' beams out of a person like a fucking lighthouse light across the ocean.

If there is even a hint of reciprocation, they are plagued with self doubt of does s/he like me and really have no idea.

Sad but true.

@DorothyParkersCat
Your comment made me smile :)

Tom Hardy makes it bloody obvious he’s got a crush on me. Silent phone calls, stones at the window. Notes containing frankly amateurish love poetry through the letterbox. I keep telling him, ‘Tom, it’s never going to work! You’re living in a fantasy world, it’s embarrassing!’ He just won’t stop though.

Kate Winslet’s the same... both my wife and I are getting a bit sick of it.

Op are youa a woman, too? Because I never guessed female crushes.. but i am a hetero female.
With guys i have sussed them give me the eyes and act strange.. i sense it easily if i dont like them back. As dorothy said, if i have a crush on them, then no i can't tell.

Your poor wife :(

Would you be horrified or flattered if someone crushed on you?
Flattered for sure ... Or just sorry for the poor pathetic person? No maybe awkward a bit?
Anyone with experience? Yeah loads where do i start? 😂

I have a crush on someone at work. It's awful. I try to hide it, but I'm sure I'm over compensating. I'm single, but I've no idea if he is.

DorothyParkersCat lol. This seems about right.

I think some people are flattered if someone has a crush and some people get annoyed. I am flattered if someone has a crush, but does not give obvious signs (meaning, they tell another person that tells me and that is that)..like when my dh told me a mutual acquaintance that lives in another country now, told him when we first started dating that he had such a crush on me. I felt flattered by that. But I also had a little interest in him in the past, but of course had NO clue he had any interest in me. If I get the feeling someone likes me, I get annoyed slightly and distance myself.

Ha yes they definitely know, like DorothyParkersCat said it radiates out of you.

Someone at work has a crush on me and I know it. Everyone knows it. I am not interested. It is fairly awful as I don't want to encourage him but I also don't want to hurt his feelings.

There's another man at work I have a bit of a crush on and he very obviously does on me too, we are both single but neither of us would make a move as we work very closely together and we are old enough and wise enough to know that's never a good place to go. Because it's reciprocal it's quite nice though, we have a right laugh and it makes the week go faster.

I worry that the chap I know may have an inkling but as he actively sought me out to have a chat and a catch up when he was last here, either he genuinely hasn’t noticed or he doesn’t mind.

I never thought it was that obvious. I thought some people might be better at hiding it. Especially if it is a far away crush. But I guess, I am also not in the type of environments where you get crushes often (SAHM).

Is a crush different to fancying someone? My crush crushes me back, evidenced in smiles, comments, actions etc.

There will be no shenanigans as deeply inappropriate circumstances, but the crushing sure is a nice bit of fun.

Oh for gods sake hedgefund, just shag him!