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Relationships

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Original poster

Do our crushes know?

56 replies

KirstyHasLeft · 12/11/2019 21:41

Do you think people know when someone has a crush on them?

I have a terrible crush on someone. We rarely speak. But I am sure as hell that I behave like a teenager around her - even if I really try to be cool and normal.
We are both married and have DC. So nothing can ever happen. But I have thought of nothing except for her for over a year now.. Surely, she must have noticed, right?

Would you be horrified or flattered if someone crushed on you? Or just sorry for the poor pathetic person?
Anyone with experience?

OP posts:

StuntEgg · 15/11/2019 13:32

@Vexorg

And that bloody Greta Garbo...

Franullalitta · 15/11/2019 13:40

God I hope not. I have a major crush on one of the dads at school. Everytime he looks at me I look away. I think he thinks i hate him, Because i completely ignore him. This has been going on for 2 years! He spoke to me once and I just sort of stood there then was very standoffish. It's terrible. I am a fully grown woman ffs.

bobstersmum · 15/11/2019 13:50

I think people know ;)

middlemuddle · 15/11/2019 13:52

I had a crush on someone for months and flirted outrageously with him but he didn't know, he was shocked when I told him. I think men are a bit more oblivious if they're a bit shy or not used to attention.

nmc99 · 15/11/2019 14:08

This is a hard one, I have a crush which has been a bit of a slow burner.

Genuinely no idea if he knows or feels the same but we both seek out excuses to speak to each other - speak over FB messenger a fair bit about random things (and sometimes quite late into the night) and on nights out spend a lot of time talking.

I think if I had a crush that I didn't reciprocate id back off and be quite awkward and have done that in the past.

StarlightIntheNight · 15/11/2019 14:24

I thought fancying someone and a crush is the same thing? I assume everyone has them through out life, even when married (eventually!). Its just most people (or maybe some people?) don't act on it or just keep it a secret.

StarlightIntheNight · 15/11/2019 14:27

Franullalitta I am usually like that with crushes (at least when I was younger). However, I originally had zero thoughts about my little crush when I first spoke to him and it came out of no where months later, but by then I can't exactly ignore someone I know..so I try my best to just act normal.

ExcitedForFuture · 15/11/2019 15:02

The beacon thing rings true. When I was crushing on my now DP, apparently it was very obvious to those around us. He was completely oblivious. I had no idea if he liked me. He was chatty and friendly and we got on well but I couldn't tell if he liked me.

Turns out he did. But neither of us knew.

Original poster

KirstyHasLeft · 15/11/2019 17:33

I am a 'straight' woman crushing on a straight woman.
She surely must have noticed something is wrong with me by now...
I am horrified and excited at the same time. I am such a saddo .. :)

OP posts:

CherryPavlova · 15/11/2019 17:37

Of course they know. There are subliminal physical signs were usually attuned to pick up even if we don’t understand that’s what happening.

TheVanguardSix · 15/11/2019 17:42

Oh Kirsty I remember you from the summer.
How are you?

TheVanguardSix · 15/11/2019 17:43

You really need to leave your DH and explore your options.
In other words, you need to live in truth.
You're like a kid in a candy store!
Is this woman the same one from the summer?

managedmis · 15/11/2019 17:45

God I've loads of crushes on people, especially men at work. I stare, smile, flirt. I think they just think I'm mad

SevenStones · 15/11/2019 17:51

I had a major crush on a guy and was terrified he'd know. He seemed oblivious however. We have a couple of mutual interests that we talked about, although sometimes I was so tongue tied I'd end up talking about nonsense things instead.

No sooner had I had a word with myself that I had to stop rambling and try to just talk about the interesting stuff he suddenly started to barely acknowledge me.

He used to be really friendly, the last time I saw him his face fell when he saw me. If I try and speak to him he either grunts a reply or shrugs.

So, I've gone off him somewhat, yet hold a little flame for his friendly side that's now gone. I never wanted to take it further for various reasons, and the whole thing was a big annoyance for me because I was happy to be friends, the rest got in the way of that.

But now I seem to have lost someone interesting in my life and I'm a bit disappointed and sad.

I guess he clicked that I liked him and he was really uncomfortable about it. Bit of a shame, though!

Original poster

KirstyHasLeft · 15/11/2019 17:58

@TheVanguardSix Yes, the same woman! :D

I know, I know.. Things got so bad - my DH read my posts here. So I had to admit and come out to him. That was fun.. not. Anyway, he loves me so much and he wants to be with me even if I'm gay.
I don't really want to go into details here. We had lots of issues in our marriage. But also we are getting on great at the same time. I am so lost...
But yes- I am still totally heartbreakingly in love with her.

OP posts:

bobstersmum · 15/11/2019 19:00

Is it a woman you see for childcare reasons? Or am I wrong?

Original poster

KirstyHasLeft · 15/11/2019 19:05

@bobstersmum sort of.

OP posts:

bobstersmum · 15/11/2019 19:08

I think I remember the other thread. How have you managed not to say something inappropriate (or maybe it would be appropriate!) to her? For me I'd be struggling to be normal!

Original poster

KirstyHasLeft · 15/11/2019 19:20

@bobstersmum ha ha! I'd love to but I have good self control :)
I swear she likes me... Why can't she say something totally indecent to me?

OP posts:

MeClavdivs · 15/11/2019 19:28

Oh dear, I could have written this. Except that we had a really long chat one time. I feel like such a loser.

Nothing wrong with crushes at all (as long as you don't act on them) but I feel like such a wally when it happens. Why can't I just be nice and friendly and normal?

sarahstanley · 15/11/2019 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McDougal · 15/11/2019 21:03

I always wonder if people see whah they want to see when it comes to crushes.

What if two people just get along really well but happen to be members of the opposite sex...is it just others making something out of nothing or do they see something that the people involved don't? Genuinely curious as think I might've been in what could've been seen as a crush situation in a previous role but it was just two people with similar interests who could have a laugh together. Now a bit paranoid

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 15/11/2019 21:50

I don’t know, I’ve had very close male friends that were completely platonic.

Isleepinahedgefund · 16/11/2019 07:32

@MorrisZapp lol 😂

I’m actually leaving my job very soon so THEN I will!

Ithinkwerealonenowtiffany · 16/11/2019 07:41

I have a crush on someone and i know he has a crush on me. There is chemistry between us and i tingle when i see him which is rarely but ......wow! We have a mutual hobby and our paths could cross. We are on Facebook/instagram/strava and he puts a like on most things.

But im married, he’s engaged. We did message each other for a while, just talking about the hobby etc but I stopped replying.

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