Would you find this annoying?

[PSILoveWine]

My OH has a way of shutting down conversations I have with him.
For example he could ask me how my day is..
I would start explaining my day but he will stop me and say I only asked a yes or no question I didn't ask you for a story.
So today he asked if I knew the circumstances of an incident that happened and I said yes and went on to explain.
He stopped me again and said I don't want a back story, just say yes or no and let me ask questions if I want more details.
He just takes the fun right out of speaking in general, I get excited when I feel like he's about to listen but him stopping me and only asking for details relevant to him annoys the life out of me.
Would you find this annoying?

He sounds like a bit of a prick tbh. He's not interested in you - only the bits that suit him? So he's selfish af then.

Have you told him how he makes you feel by doing this?

I'd find that rude as fuck and he'd know it.

He sounds arrogant, and much too self absorbed to be bothered about your feelings. Is he no good at conversation? It's a two way thing. Lucky you're not married to him! for him!

Yes I've spoke to him about it. He knows it annoys me but me talking too much annoys him.
He thinks most of what people say is irrelevant and there's no need for unnecessary details, background info etc. It needs to be relevant and to the point.
I wouldn't say I talk too much I barely talk at all and no wonder with the way he makes me feel when I do.
He's now in a strop with me because I vaguely answered his questions after he stopped me before.
I should be able to express what I'm trying to say.

Rude and quite odd really. Who made him the conversation police?

Next time he asks you something tell him you can't answer because he didnt put the request in writing giving you 7 working days notice of his intention. Stupid rules work both ways!

I would just give him yes/no answers and plan to leave.

I'd add I think for many people conversation is integral to good mental health, if this goes on I don't think he's the partner for you. I'd go mad if I couldn't ramble on at my partner. P

just say yes or no and let me ask questions if I want more details.

Just who the fuck does this guy think he is ? the CIA? He is a controlling abusive bastard and I would not allow him to speak to me let alone anyone else like that ? Why are you accepting this are normal OP ? Tell him to back the hell off and you'll speak as and when you wish..

I had a partner who would shut me down more subtly, eg interrupting to talk about something unrelated (often herself), or saying 'Anyway..' whilst I was still talking. I kept getting upset but I couldn't work out why. She was never mean or angry; simply not listening, not interested in what I had to say.

It's soul destroying, OP. Being heard is a large part of being accepted socially, and that's a human need. It must feel horrible to be continually silenced when all you're trying to do is have a nice chat, and he seems to have shown an interest by asking you.

I don't know what I'd do in your shoes. It doesn't sound like he's too good with discussing the issue either (how is he on discussing other issues?) I feel for you, OP.

Do you have children together, OP?

'How was your day?' can't be answered with 'yes' or 'no' so he is being an idiot. Even if he phrases it 'Did you have a good day?' any reasonable person would take that as the other person wanting to hear about their day.

It's more than annoying it's actually rather abusive. He doesn't sound loving or respectful at all. Ltb.

Are you telling him what he already knows? Just wondered with the circumstances of the incident example. My ex used to relay details of stuff to me (repeatedly) of what I already knew, and had often told him myself. Think it was more mansplaining tbh but wondered if this was similar as I found that really irritating.

For example he could ask me how my day is..
Maybe he should google 'open' and 'closed' questions.
Because he is asking open questions and expecting closed question answers.
NOT POSSIBLE.
Basically he's a prick!

He knows it annoys me but me talking too much annoys him So you aren't compatible - so end it.
Why live the rest of your life like this?
It's sounds exhausting!
He sounds very controlling.
Why are you with him?
He sounds utterly pointless!

Why on earth are you still with someone who doesn't even want to chat to you?!

OMG OP get rid of this arsehole. I would be giving him one word answers for the remainder (which wouldnt be long) of our relationship, not talk to him or tell him anything.

Is there some weird power imbalance in your relationship? Is he much older, or more educated or did he 'rescue' you? Because he appears to think you aren't his equal. And you appear to find it annoying rather than unacceptable and mean.

I agree with a PP. You need out but until you do, play him at his own game.

HIM - How was your day?
YOU - Yes
HIM - Why aren't you answering me properly?
You - No
HIM - What are you doing?
You - Yes
Etc.......
Make your exit plan.
Do you have family and friends who you talk to and go out with with?
If so, then start telling them what is going on!

Because he appears to think you aren't his equal

yes .. I couldn't put my finger in it... but this is exactly correct... he believes you beneath him...

What a rude ignorant prick.

How long has he been speaking to you like this?

Because I would ghost someone so rude and not give it a second thought.

OP, what is going on with you that you accept being spoken to in such a rude way?

You need to give your head a hell of a shake and kick him to touch.

The rudeness and arrogance. 🙄

He sounds awful and controlling. What gives him the right to decide when you can and can't speak!

It’s true that if you don’t have time or already know the back story it can be a pain in the ass to listen to a long rant about your day at work/at home when just a “na, crap day, dog shit the floor and Jimmy threw up on the laptop, how was your day darling?” would suffice. Rather than a blow by blow account of what time the postman arrived, how the office plant needs watering more often, how Sheila in accounts mums just gone on a cruise etc. that he’s not interested in as he doesn’t know/need to know about as it’s not really of interest/important.

However if he’s like that all the time and you never talk properly he’s either not sufficiently interested in you and what you think is important, or is too busy or stressed to attentively listen.

Either way it sounds like a dealbreaker to me. What did you talk about when you dated? Why was that in then but not now? What’s changed! Do you have pals to gossip with?

He sounds like a controlling (and rude) prick.

For example he could ask me how my day is...

Well, that's hardly a yes or no answer...

Just tell him 'Unless you're interested in what I'm saying, don't bother asking.'

Sorry OP, sounds quite miserable.

Horrible, rude, controlling, arrogant - I could go on. What a wanker. This sounds like "Speak when you are spoken to". Leave the miserable cunt and find someone you can have a decent conversation with. Being shut down and put down like this could affect your mental health. Run.

JumpiesBat brilliant!