Would you find this annoying?

[PSILoveWine]

My OH has a way of shutting down conversations I have with him.
For example he could ask me how my day is..
I would start explaining my day but he will stop me and say I only asked a yes or no question I didn't ask you for a story.
So today he asked if I knew the circumstances of an incident that happened and I said yes and went on to explain.
He stopped me again and said I don't want a back story, just say yes or no and let me ask questions if I want more details.
He just takes the fun right out of speaking in general, I get excited when I feel like he's about to listen but him stopping me and only asking for details relevant to him annoys the life out of me.
Would you find this annoying?

I've spoken to him in depth.
He believes I am not giving him the opportunity to ask questions when I ramble on all at once, I do understand that but he can ask questions, I suppose he is right when I want to ramble.. I just want to explain everything when I'm happy or sad about something and I'm pretty sure that's normal..
I don't ramble on in general if I say my day was fine or in reply to was your day good.. If I say yes or no, he will just say okay.. So given the opportunity to speak I probably get excited more than most people because I think he wants to listen.

That sounds very disrespectful. He allows you to speak so little that you get excited when you think you can speak? I would plan to leave.
When he asks why you can give him a one word answer.

Can I just ask how often the explaining everything about something you are happy or sad about happens?

He sounds a right barrel of laughs.
Communication is key in relationships. Unfortunately in your marriage OP it seems that only one of you is allowed to communicate. Unless he has lots of other redeeming features and personality traits I think you should seriously consider LTB.

He sounds rude and unpleasant but it's hard to judge that much as you dont give any details about how long you've been together and how serious the relationship is? If you live together and have children this would be an awful way to live.

Yes we live together.. More than 12 years since we left high school, I have never experienced heartbreak.
I know deep down my relationship isn't working but I am scared. He is all I have ever known.
We have 2 lovely girls. He has also admitted we aren't working in the past.
I do love him.
He is terrible at communicating.. Unless it is relevant to him he pays no attention, he seems to think that is normal.
I dont know what is normal I am 28 and have only ever known him!

When you start a conversation you dont know how it's going to go. That's why there is back and forth. He basically doesn't want a normal conversation, he just wants information, not to actually speak to you. Its extremely controlling to try and make someone speak in a certain way and make them cut out all the things that they want to say, and include only the things that you want to hear

The best thing about DH after 20 years together and some very very rough years when I planned to leave is that we still chat and laugh.

Yeah sometimes he talks and I'm not listening and I'll go "oops I wasn't listening" but generally I want us to converse as does he, even when it's about footie or his hobby!

You are 28 . This is not going to get better.

My ex husband was exactly like this. A lot of the things he did/said were very similar to your examples. He would ask questions, and if I responded by trying to engage in conversation with a full answer/details he would cut me off, shouting at me that he didn't give a shit and had asked a simple question.

I started playing him at his own game and give him yes/no answers, but that seemed to infuriate him more. 'Come on then...what the fuck else...are you so thick you can't have a conversation...don't you dare give me a one word answer!'

I'm afraid this is a no win situation OP and definitely a 'power play' thing. I totally agree with the PP who said it is a 'speak when spoken to' scenario.

Sounds like my DP only for himself not interested in what I've done unless it's to ask if dinner is cooked and the housework has been done....

Thank you for all your responses, it's frightening how others can relate in the past x your past is my real just now x

takes the fun right out of speaking

This really jumped out at me - My ex took the fun out of everything, and had no interest in me.

I’m now with DP who at the beginning I had lots of lovely chats with - now he just goes into the living room and turns the TV up loud, if I start trying to talk to him in the kitchen he will just walk away. 😕

That’s such a shitty way to treat someone. It’s also so so sad that you get excited about being able to talk. I think you need to try and dig deep and either really try and change things or plan to go your own way. Don’t waste your life away hoping things will magically improve!

Do you want your daughter's growing up thinking that only talking when you've been given permission is a good template for healthy relationship?

If you stay with this man, you are effectively role modelling what they should look for in a relationship.

You're not rambling OP, you're responding to someone who asks a question automatically, and is definitely not interested in your answer. His reaction to your replying proves to you he is really is not interested in anything you have to say. He asks the question about your day because heit's what he always asks... but his excuse of 'wanting to ask questions' is utter bullshit and you know it.. sorry OP, but this guy is a miserable bully.

Also the saying that resonated with me with my ex was ‘the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference’

I’m sure he likes to describe himself as a straight talker. Sounds like he has no tolerance or patience. My partner does this. I will be explaining a question he has asked and he will just start doing something else or walk off. It’s rude especially when you take the time to sit and listen to their crap stories but still take interest

*I agree with a PP. You need out but until you do, play him at his own game.

HIM - How was your day?
YOU - Yes
HIM - Why aren't you answering me properly?
You - No
HIM - What are you doing?
You - Yes
Etc.......*

I'd be fucking stupidly childish and reply with things like "monkey", "purple" and "radiator" just to piss the prick off. But don't do that OP.

Honestly, I'd leave him.

Try both of you reading the five languages of love.

The 5 Love Languages https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/080241270X/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_u-ZYDbEZQ9AS9

Ignore the Christian aspect if it's not for you, but the concept about ways we express love is really enlightening, especially about communication.

I didn't advise the OP to reply with things like monkey or purple.
He wants yes or no answers to everything so that's what I'd give him until I could get out and away from him.
It's a coping strategy to stop OP from feeling so crap about herself and her own opinions and to stop the prick from making her feel shit about anything she has to say!
Simples!

Don't let your daughters grow up thinking this is normal; only being 'allowed' to speak in a certain way.

Awful.

So given the opportunity to speak I probably get excited more than most people because I think he wants to listen.

That is profoundly sad. I couldn't stay with anyone who made me feel this way

You are setting an awful example to your daughters allowing yourself to be treated like that. I feel so sorry for you and your girls. They will end up in abusive relationships like you are

He sounds autistic and/or a wanker. I don't think most people would be able to put up with this for long.