Female gamer sending naked video to husband

[BrightlightsBigcity]

Not my husband, but a close friends. She stumbled upon it while borrowing his phone. Full on naked 'performance'. As far as she knows, the woman and her husband played together online, are in different countries, and only exchanged nicities such as 'night, love' after games. One of her other friends has said he probably just saw it as porn like any other and just forgot to delete it after watching.

I'm more suspicious, but don't know if this is because of my projection of my own issues with an untrustworthy husband. So any opinions on:

1. How likely is it a woman would do this without any encouragement from the guy?
2. It was sent to his email address. Wouldn't she have had to ask for it and therefore they were probably communicating via email beforehand too?
3. Friend has said her piece and is just trying to forget about it now. I think this is a mistake, she should be keeping an eye on him.

Opinions and advice? I know how devastating it is to give your trust to your spouse after being let down, only to have it happen again. I'd hate for my friend to go through this too, but don't really know what to suggest for the best.

To be honest, I'd be more worried that this was a scammer -- someone sharing a video in order to receive a naked one from the husband in return, and then threatening to make it public. 'Blackmail' in other words.

Usually you'd pay for those sort of videos, there are a lot of sex workers who will play games and send nudes after for a fee and I highly suspect that's what's happening here.

You reckon? They've been playing together in the same clan or whatever for months. Seems quite a long time to spend on hooking him?
I know my asshole H had what I think was that kind of scanner contact him on skype, but that was out of the blue. No groundwork. Would they really take months to try and hook someone? There's been no mention of blackmail, so I don't think he sent anything if this was the case...

I also know that my friend has a good grip on the finances due to his past poor money management, he wouldn't be able to use a card or spend money from the account without her noticing, I'm pretty sure.

If he's in a different country with no plan to go there, I'd also see it as porn. But I'd be worried about the woman and why she'd do that.

If any of my male friends received a naked video from one of his girl mates I would like to hope that they'd be mortified and delete it straight away. I've sadly had work colleagues I'd have thought of as decent men who have shared and giggled over horendous porn videos (I'm not easily shocked but these were just awful). I didn't have respect for them after after that.

I do hear that gamer culture is a law unto itself, and if the men who talk about it are to be believed is perfectly possible that she could have sent the video unprompted. I dunno though...

The people commenting above don't understand the gaming friend thing I don't think.

Yes he's definitely encouraged it in some way but it's your friends husband and she's decided to let it go so all you can do is support her and be there when he inevitably does it again.
Some men don't see this as cheating because it's not 'real life'

It sounds like they're interested in each other, and that the female sent it to him out of choice/because he asked. If this was my DP he'd be out. I am a gamer, and if they play games together (presumably over discord which is a voice chat) it's definitely not a scam.

I’ve been playing online fames for years and this kind of thing is rife in MMORPGs like World of Warcraft etc where you form close relationships within your guild/clan.

There’s flirting all over the place, as it’s an easy ego-boost, usually devoid of much meaning as players are in different countries.

That said, it should be for singletons only. I would treat this as cheating if I were your friend.

If it's been months then it probably is a normal gamer flirtation but the video should have been deleted straight away it's far more personal than porn.

I’ve been playing online fames for years and this kind of thing is rife in MMORPGs like World of Warcraft etc where you form close relationships within your guild/clan.

Jesus, really? That's disgraceful. My H plays Wow. Something else to watch out for then. Though how the hell you can find alternate email addresses, I don't know. These disrespectful idiots make me fume!

Oh, and if I thought H was involved in this as 'normal flirtation', there'd be hell to pay. It's not normal to send a married man porn of yourself because you've been talking online!

So it is your husband then?

My DP is an avid gamer who doesn't get involved with this flirtation because it's not gamers who do it, it's people who want to flirt.
Being a gamer doesn't automatically mean you're a sleaze.

However he has a friend who'll add every single woman he plays a game with because he is a scumbag and loves being pervy.

At the same time, if you look on Twitch or similar, you'll see girls who intentionally stream wearing next to nothing because it makes virgin geeks subscribe to their channel.

I'm a gamer, yes there is a lot of flirting in some games however 95% of it is men trying to pick up women. There have been of all the people I've played with a couple of women who would potentially do this unsolicited (1 sent pictures to my dp but he did inform me in disgust straight away and I know she's sent them to others too). The email is more suspicious, we don't use emails we have other chat platforms that are used instead to communicate off the game itself, send pictures etc, no one I know shares email addresses unless they are trying to take something to the next level.

amI no, it's not my H, but he does play WoW. I font know if he chats a lot with anyone in a guild, but I think I will be checking that out, if I can! Is there a way to look at past chats?

Wtfdoipick which platforms are commonly used? Would she be able to check those? I'd wondered why she would have is email. I guess they have been communicating on there too, which is completely unnecessary unless there's something inappropriate going on, beyond game chat.

Nowadays there are women who aren't scammers who will send men they fancy, or want to make like them, videos of themselves. Some women are vulnerable and desperate for friendship etc. Gamers might be more likely to do something like this, as more of them have autistic features and mightn't be so able to behave 'appropriately.'

But it seems more likely they were chatting each other up beforehand :(

In game you can chat privately to anyone and there is no log of it.
Outside of the game Discord is the most common tool for voice and chat these days, that keeps logs.
In my day we used TeamSpeak and Ventrilo, but I’m old as balls.

I’d keep an eye out when he’s playing. Private messages (whispers) in WoW are in bright pink colour

I was a long time gamer on WoW and people frequently got together on there. I made some really good friends on there and yes, there were a couple of hookups involved when we all met up.

He will have encouraged this and may have sent something in return. I would see this as cheating.

Oh and most of our convos were on Vent (also old). No logs of that chat and no logs of in game whispers either.

There may not have been physical contact but this is beyond an emotional affair. He has formed a bond with her and seen her naked. He may not have had sex with her but that seems more down to distance. Ultimately if this Is your friend (and not you) then you cant do much but be there for her. If it was my DH it be finding a lawyer

Thanks for the info. Nope, still not my H, although I certainly wouldn't put this kind of thing past him, as he's an asshole.

7worfs so just so I'm clear, if there's a bright pink message on the chat section, someone has sent it just to him rather than the group playing together as a whole? Or vice versa?

Both incoming and outgoing whispers are pink. They aren’t necessarily dodgy, there’s a good use of them for arranging in game stuff, but if you are passing by, no harm having a look at his screen.

Green = guild chat
Pale blue = party chat
Orange = raid chat
General/zone = offwhite colour

There are also custom chats which are private and you can customise their colour.
Why don’t you create a character and play around a bit?
I stopped playing 10 years ago, but it was great fun.

I met my husband on WoW, we were both single at the time.
I had several other men hit on me in a creepy way, one of whom I knew was married, I shut those down. I started off becoming friends with my husband, he wasn’t there to hook up. Most people I chatted to were only there to play the game and be friendly, nothing sleazy, but with so many players you’ll always get some creeps.

I also had a female friend who played (well, she was the then-gf of one of my friends) and her behaviour was appalling, she would be desperate for attention from male players and would definitely be the sort of person to have sent unsolicited nudes. She once sent sexts to a 16 year old boy who she met in game. I met a few other women in-game who I can imagine would behave the same way.

So in short, it’s entirely possible to play the game innocently and just chat in a friendly way, but there are some sleazy or morally iffy people of both genders who play also.

You do develop little friendship groups on WoW etc. I have only had one boob incident (and I’m a gay man) which was hastily deleted.

As a friend you’re a bit stuck, all you can really do is be there to support it anything does happen.

I play an MMO and used to belong to a FB group, there were some definite attempts at getting to know me by private messaging and also attempts at getting me to go on a date. I ended up just stopping using FB. Whilst harassment and flirting happen everywhere as they are sort of anonymous it is rife in gaming. Plus people spend hours chatting and gaming together. I’m no spring chicken and used to say I’m old enough to be your Mother but it seemed to make them worse. I’m careful about being alone in chat with just one male these days. Some of it is laughable I had one lad of about 20 telling me he wanted to slide in to my DM’s and my clanmates still laugh about him but some is sinister and I had a stalker for a while. My male friend also had a stalker. She used to look at a statistical site to see who he had been gaming with and even though he had blocked her she would send messages to anyone he had gamed with. She basically wanted to hook up with him and he said no and at that point she got nasty, same with me and my stalker and he had seemed nice till then.

I did actually go along to a clan meet up a couple of years ago but took my DH along.