Do people really have perfect husbands out there?

[chickenorbrownspice]

Or are the majority lacking in one area or another?

I love mine beyond words. He is supportive, caring, loving. Finds me attractive when I feel horrendous, is excited by me even now after DC.

But he isn't a conversationalist (I'm extremely chatty and like debates). He does not challenge me intellectually, not because he isn't clever, but again, not big on debates etc.

We are similar in lots of ways, both very clean and tidy people. Both house proud. He is also the cleanest man I've ever met and I'm grateful he is so fabulous about personal hygiene otherwise it would be a definite no.

We don't share similar interests, he is a dedicated soap watcher. I like things such as ITV dramas, something to get me teeth into. He isn't interested and won't watch them with me, and if he does/did he isn't interested in it/won't talk about the programme.

Abuse and treating someone badly is never acceptable. However, would you say lots of men are very 'blokey' in the general sense of the eye roll 'Argh, he's such a bloke'.

I don't think being into soaps is particularly 'blokey' tbh.

My husband likes football and supports Everton, which is usually a bitter disappointment to him 🤣, but other than footy, I wouldn't say he's 'blokey' at all.

Doesn't think sexism is funny, doesn't talk about women in a derogatory manner.

We do have. Alot of shared interest though, like politics and music and like the same kind of TV programmes.

So going off my husband and his/our friends, I wouldn't say they were 'blokey' at all.

No not perfect. Neither am I. He’s quite disorganised. And a procrastinator of epic proportions. And watches shit TV (he will say the same about me!)
But he’s kind and funny, does housework and is an equal parent without expecting a medal. Is one of the few blokes I know who has made career sacrifices for his family and his wife’s career. We agree on politics, watch a lot of sport together and generally enjoy each other’s company.

Some women are into 'blokey' things though, and some men are less 'blokey.'
You'll never find someone who's 100% perfect and into everything you are. One person can't provide everything you need either. I think women as a general rule tend to be more chatty and up for debate than men.

There’s no such thing as a perfect person so it stands to reason there are no perfect spouses!

Been married to my DH nearly 30 years. He's certainly not perfect but then, neither am I.

We are complete opposites but do have a shared interest in nature and wildlife.
His hobbies stem from his rural upbringing. He likes shooting and fishing.
I'm the opposite. I walk, do Pilates and have a passion for history and visit National Trust and English Heritage places.
But it works for us.

But, he's very kind, caring and will do anything for me. We can talk about everything and he's always there for me and the kids even though they are adults now.

He's also very pro women's rights. ( He had 4 sisters!) And I'm currently going through menopause and he's so supportive. Especially as I have anxiety

He's my rock I'd be lost without him.

Are there areas you lack in?

How many perfect humans have you met?

Are you saying he is blokey or not blokey? I can’t tell. And what type of man do you want?

I mean my DP isn't exactly like me. I think it would be boring if we both liked exactly the same things, you'd never do anything different. No one is perfect, especially If we're counting things like taste in TV programmes. He's not 'blokey' but he does have quite masculine tastes I guess, cars, action films, rock bands type stuff.

He's perfect in all the ways that matter though. He's kind, caring, clever, funny, treats my like an equal, a good cook, Good personal hygiene, fairly clean (maybe not perfect here but pulls his weight).

He does have really shit taste in films though, and he gets excited about really boring things and I have to pretend to be interested in them. But then again has probably not interested in a lot of things I like, it doesn't mean he's lacking.

No one is perfect, but me and DH have a lot in common. He does well over 50% of the housework and looks after me without complaint when my RA is bad, even after working at a tiring manual job all day. He isn't into sport or soaps, but is hugely interested in politics, art and gaming. The only thing that ever annoys me is that he procrastinates a bit.

However, prior to this I went from an abusive dad to two abusive partners. Therefore I was very selective this time and very sensitive to any red flags. Also, some things that would have been deal breakers for some, I ignored. He lived at home with his mum, only earns minimum wage and hadn't had any really long term relationships. Five years on, I am very happy.

No one is perfect.

romany4 you mean by having ‘an interest in nature and wildlife’ your husband shoots animals and kills fish?

Not sure I’d call it that tbh.

There’s no such thing as a perfect husband but I do think people can believe someone is perfect in those early days when they’re besotted.

Mine is perfect for me! He’s GREAT with the dc,plays lego and games, takes them out, he is very involved with bath bed etc, he teaches them things I wouldn’t even think of, listens to them etc. He’s great around the house, he will Hoover whenever needed, cooks dinner 50% of the time. He will organise weekends away for us. Works hard, listens to me, I don’t need to nag him about things I just ask once. He can be forgetful about random things though, and hates making bank phone calls or doing thing like renewing insurance so always does it last minute which bugs me but hey ho I can’t have it every way!!and he‘ll tell me he loves me daily, makes me tea in bed most mornings so he is very caring x

Mine is far from perfect but he’s generally a decent person and supports his family in many ways.
The basic stuff like another poster mentioned is there - kindness, sense of humour, hard working, good hygiene, supportive and makes good coffee.

DP isn’t perfect, and I am certainly not perfect either, so that’s fine. I have interests that he doesn’t share, and vice versa. We both pursue our hobbies independently - he is off on a cycling holiday to Mallorca with his mates in a few weeks. We all have our quirks, and it would be a very boring world if we were all the same.

Nobody's perfect, but one of the things I like about my dh is that we mostly like similar books, films and tv series. It doesn't just give us something to enjoy together, it also means there's no conflict over who watches what when. We both loathe soaps, reality tv, chick flicks/rom coms etc and like action, sci fi, fantasy and proper drama. We have plenty of intelligent conversation and debate (with the dc too). I don't think I could be married to someone I didn't have all that with tbh, or to someone who wasn't an intellectual equal.

Are you perfect then?

I don’t think dh and I have anything in common. Really.
He loves sports and is pretty much all he watches on tv, he’s a homebody and prefers pottering in the garden or doing diy at home, he’s impatient, gets worked up quickly and mostly reads twitter and the news and politically, right leaning.
I like to read books, watch films and tv, go out lots and am really chilled out and politically left leaning.
After 18 years of marriage, I do say to him I don’t get how we’re still married. He replies because we belong together

Dh only has minor imperfections. I'm not naive, I'm aware that he may fuck up massively at some point, but we've been together for 16 years, 2dcs, had family heartbreak and the occasional quarrel. And I still think he is as close to a perfect husband and father as it is possible to be.

XH was like me. Into the same kinds of things. Shared hobbies. Never quarrelled. Gosh it was boring, I felt like I was retired when I was actually only 30.

DH challenges me. We are into mostly the same kinds of things but not all. We do things independently of each other. He doesn't always agree with me. We compromise. It's a far healthier relationship.

So, just to clarify... your idea of a perfect man is a male version of yourself? Same interests, personality etc? How boring!

What a nice insight into other people's relationships..

As for us, we have differences and similarities. We are both hard working, tidy, like days out, like live bands. He is non judgemental, kind, gentle, tolerant and honest. He should have been an inspector I think because while he won't say anything, he sees and remembers absolutely everything and can often settle a 'who did or said what's debate. Has been eye opening in our local when I'm just looking around having a nice time while he's spotting who's flirting etc.

We differ around money but hes coming round to my side haha. He's equally capable of doing calls and admin. He loves all sport and is a simple soul. I'll be deep into an article and hes been silent for ages, just reading the rugby news. I adore him.

Mine isn’t, he had an affair.

However, he is perfect to me in every other way and that’s why I’m still here.

I’m still trying to find one who can get his head around the idea of monogamy and doesn’t show too much interest in my pension statements

Your dh sounds nice. I envy you.

My wife does