Fiancé and drinks with female friend

[Katiesol1]

I’ve been with fiancé 8 years, engaged a few months. We live a couple of hours away from both our families, but previously when we lived near families he had a job where he had a small group of friends that he never saw outside of work. Since leaving that job and us relocating he has met up with this group of 3 other people (two girls one guy) a couple of times a year (he’s known them now 4 years).

Last night we came back to see family this weekend and due to problems with my car, we car-shared and he dropped me at my family’s place. I had prearranged to see friends so did this and he planned to them drive to his family but due to floods he changed his mind and stayed at mine. He declined coming out with me and my girl friends and instead messaged that group to see if anyone was free to meet for a drink. One one girl in the group was so he met her. He’s never met her 1:1 before. By his own admission she is attractive and single.
I just feel weird about it. I can’t explain why. It just feels weird that they met up 1:1 on an evening to have drinks.
Am I being unreasonable?

Spot on Lemon.
There's a point where personal boundaries and preferences go from being reasonable to controlling.

Eg. Personal expectations and standards on how both parties organise chores and domestic responsibilities is a reasonable personal difference of opinion.

Eg. Telling someone you want to dictate their friendships, monitor their contact with friends, set terms for friendship etc based purely on being the opposite sex is not a reasonable personal boundary issue. It's controlling

@LolaSmiles exactly. And there's a point where reasonable peers of either person in that relationship will point out unhealthy beliefs, unhealthy dynamics, controlling behaviour etc.

If my friend tells me she doesn't approve of her bf talking to other women unless she's around to supervise and has told him so, and that if he has lunch with Jenny at work again it's over, I wouldn't tell her how great it is she'd have boundaries, I'd tell her she either trusts him or dumps him regardless

It seems off to me. He's passed up a night with you for a woman he doesn't know very well and finds attractive. Anyone who pretends on here that they would be cool with it is lying, sorry. I don't think most men with a partner would put themselves in this situation.

He's passed up a night with you for a woman he doesn't know very well and finds attractive. Anyone who pretends on here that they would be cool with it is lying, sorry. I don't think most men with a partner would put themselves in this situation.

Completely disagree, and I think that's a really unfair reading of the situation.

What he's actually done is tried to make plans with his own friends instead of OP's friends. Only one of his friends was free, so he met her. That's it.

Why are you assuming he doesn't know this woman well, when she's an old colleague?

Well said goodwinter

Person makes plans with their own friends rather than tags onto their partner's social plans is fairly reasonable and understandable.

I'm not sure how anyone can turn that into "man chooses decline a night with his partner in order to spend an evening with an attractive woman he doesn't know".

You've misread it @Crystal87. OP said she had pre-arranged to go out with her mates. Her fiance wasn't invited / wasn't part of that arrangement. He was unexpectedly at her parents home, without OP and his choice was sit there twiddling his thumbs, or see if any of his mates were around to meet for a drink. He did the latter.
This is a group of friends he's made the effort to keep in touch with and see a couple of times a year despite relocating ~ not sure how you interpret that as 'not knowing very well'

Anyone who pretends on here that they would be cool with it is lying, sorry.
Are you really so lacking in understanding that you can't perceive that other people might think differently from yourself ?

It seems off to me. He's passed up a night with you for a woman he doesn't know very well and finds attractive

Well no, he turned down a night with his partner and her female mates to see his own, and the only one free happened to be a female he's known fro FOUR YEARS

He declined coming out with me and my girl friends and instead messaged that group to see if anyone was free to meet for a drink

Have to agree with many posts on here.He hasn't done anything wrong and this is down to your own insecurities. Don't listen to those who say meeting up with a friend of the other gender is wrong. Not only will it destroy most relationships, it is a slippery slope , which will cause you to make more controlling demands.
You really dont want to be that person.

Does he need a chaperon?

Why would he tell you he thinks she's attractive? That's like he fancies her so much he can't help mentioning it or something. :/