unreasonable? - neighbours have complained about ds's early waking...

[serenequeen]

as their bedroom adjoins ds's room and they are being woken up early. they have suggested we move him to another room in our house to avoid disturbing them. we have/are already trying methods of getting him to sleep later and are generally as considerate as we can be about noise etc.

i feel for them but also feel about this.

Never really know how to feel about these kinds of questions as I worry a great deal about ds disturbing our neighbours....on the other had there is a bit of me that says why can't THEY move rooms! Sorry, not much help I know.....but I think all I'd do is move his cot/bed from off the ajoining wall if possible and just accpet 'that's life'

Yes, could they move rooms serenequeen?

Hmmm, I think that's really rude of them serenqueen, & I'd be rather than , but maybe you're a nicer person than me. You haven't been in your house very long have you? I think you just have to be polite, but explain that you're trying to deal with the situation & essentially tell them to bugger off... Do they have kids, makes a big difference I find.

serenequeen

Obviously it's up to you how you respond to this but I wouldn't move ds to another room in your position. Is his cot/bed up against the shared wall? If you could move it elsewhere within the room that might help.

How early is early SQ? Generally I find neighbours who complain about 'early morning' noise cause just as much disturbance in reverse but with 'late night' noise.

Agree with hewlettsdaughter on this one - is there another wall that you could move the cot on to? but I would not change rooms to suit your neighbours. I think a polite, calm conversation along the lines of "it won't last forever" would be helpful. BTW, if they decided to take it any further i.e. complain to your local council, they really wouldn't have a leg to stand on, well as long as you can prove that you've been the understanding neighbour (maybe keep a note in a diary of the conversations you have and any thing you have done to help this situation). HTH

Oh ffs can't they just get some earplugs? They must know it will pass. I take it they don't have children of their own.

Everytime DS organise a midnight presentation of his screaming skills I just imagine the neighbour knocking at the door to complain and me responding "if you know what to do you can have him, I'm doing as much as I can and it's not working!!!)

I think it's rather unreasonable of them. Exactly what is your son doing early in the morning?? Normal child noise is, unfortunately, to be expected and I wouldn't dream of complaining about it to the parents - I might well whinge about it to anyone else who'll listen though.

WHAT?!?!?!?

Bloody cheek. No way would I move my child out of his room - it's your house!!!!!

Tell them to get stuffed.

PS - I'm a nice person really!

Oh FFS! - totally unreasonable if you ask me

Could understand if it was music blaring or something - but a baby crying? I take it they don't have kids of their own, then? Be polite, move the cot if you can, but basically, ignore 'em.

I can see their point but I would have got earlpugs.
do either of you have your windows open?
we hear the poeple over hte roads kidwake them up quite often int he summer

My brother and his girlfriend (who are childless) often complain to me about their neighbours kids screaming and shouting early in the morning.

They would never dream of complaining to the parents but often whinge to me I told them to get earplugs (which I wear for DH's snoring!) but they slept through their alarm!!

In the end, they moved bedrooms but as their house is made of "paper-thin" walls, it hasn't made much difference.

I would be livid about about this. My neighbour twice shouted "Shut up" through the walls when my daughter woke up crying in the night as a baby. The first time I was upset, the second time I moved her closer to the wall

I simply wouldn't dream of suggesting this to a family with a new baby, God it doesn't last forever does it?

FFS.Aren't some people unreasonable- it's not as if your baby's doing it on purpose is he.

Tell 'em to eff off. It's not as if they have to get up and deal with him is it? Ffs, it's your house, DON'T move him, it's none of their business, blah blah. I think I'd ask them if you could come round and rearrange their living arrangements and see how they like it. Or ask them to move rooms if they don't like it. Totally unreasonable. My neighbours apologise to me if they think they might have made enough noise to wake the baby - that's the way round it should be.

It's annoying when people complain. Thank goodness we have lovely neighbours where we are now.

I would say though - as your little one is so tiny, your neighbours are probably going to go through another year or so of disturbed nights so I think you will have to come up with a strategy for dealing with them!

When my first was born, we lived in a mansion block in Hammersmith and you could literally here people's conversations over dinner the walls were so thin. I knocked on my neighbour's door and explained that I too would love the baby not to wake up all night, but that's what they do and it would take at least 6 months to get them sleeping a decent proportion of the night. There really is nothing you or your neighbours can do - the baby is too small to expect it not to wake up and howl (but I was relieved when we moved out of there)!

It's annoying because no doubt it will put you on edge now when ds wakes up (last thing you need). They can soundproof their walls if they are desperate (our next door neighbour is considering this!!).

P.S. I assume they have no children? If they do, then I would be totally unsympathetic because surely they have been there themselves.

Message withdrawn

You are very nice to feel for them - I think they are being v. unreasonable. I mean, you live in a family house ffs, so presumable so do they, and families have to contain crying babies at some point.

I suppose it depends how early it is. And perhaps the age of the neighbours. If they're young and they wake up, then let them get up and have nice early mornings! If they are older people then, if it was possible to move baby's room temporarily, without too much hassle, then I would. Are they good neighbours themselves?

Oh dear! Whatever does he DO? I can't imagine that he is practising on kit drums or sanding the floorboards! (and if he is, send him round our house instead!). Unless he is banging on the adjoining wall or playing v loud music, they must be being VERY sensitive. I would politely fob them off, I think, with promises to see if you can steer him into being quiet, but I certainly wouldn't agree to swap rooms around!

Is the world really full of people who respond to a complaint rom neighbours in a semi with 'eff off'? Doesn't it just escalate things and lead to permanent bad feeling, where otherwise you might actually foster a more useful neighbourly relationship?

thanks everyone. i have been feeling really down since they came round. who wants to be the "problem neighbours"? what else have they heard? do they sit and moan about us each night?

i do think it is unreasonable for them to ask us to change our rooms around (anyway they would get dd instead and she wakes up in the night as well! teehee! )

i will do as advised and maintain a politely concerned exterior while doing absolutely nothing more than we are already doing!

blu - snort! if only! i would get him to build an en-suite bathroom in our room! no, he whines "mummy, daddy, is it morning yet" until we go in and tell him it isn't... don't think people are actually advocating uttering the eff off, just thinking it...

Move your own room and keep them awake with your wild athletic sex-life

Honestly! Whining! In a road where the average car stereo makes the windows rattle and boy racers on scooters use the speed control humps to attempt Evil Kneival stunts! They are being ridiculous. Personally, I get irritated by the people who rattle those wheelie suitcases along the pavement to catch the first tube to the airport at 5 a.m.

My old neighbours little one would scream for hours in the night, although it kept me awake I only felt sorry for the poor mum. I'd hear her up and down half the night. But as a mum I knew what she was going through. I just got earplugs and baby eventually grew out of it. I think she was glad of my support when we chatted over the fence bleary eyed with a headache each . Don't what ever you do let thoughts of your neighbours add stress to an already stressfull situation. Daft buggers maybe they need to live in a field in a house all on it's own!