If you met online dating, how long did it take to find each other?

[AbsolutelyDishwater]

I’ve been online dating a year, on and off.

Met one person I was excited about but he had taken a job in the US the day before we first met, so it didn’t go anywhere!

I’ve been on a lot of dates and had a lot of chats. So fed up and feel like it’s never ending. They all seem really keen and I even if I give it a go for a few dates, I soon lose interest. On the wrong side of 35 too so feel like time isn’t on my side.

People say it’s a numbers game but really how many more do I need to meet!!

Hi NameChanger 84,
It would be difficult to argue against many of the valid points you make and I do understand all you are saying but it goes to prove that it takes all sorts to make the world go round. There's not just one answer to this question, there are many. Different things suit different people and we should all accept that and I take your point. At 27 I married someone who was 19 at the time. But no, I had no interest in 16-year-olds and if I gave you that mathematical opinion then I was not meaning to. From experience, I have a younger outlook on life than those women of my age that I have met (so far) and relate to them much better. It certainly isn't to be seen with a younger woman for ego's sake. The point you make about "looking after an older man" in later life is a fair one but perhaps tells you more about the woman herself than it does the man. I thought relationships were supposed to be "for richer or poorer and in sickness and health" but perhaps that just an old fashioned outdated concept these days. I certainly don't need any "domestic help" with my life as I am as, if not more capable of all those tasks than any woman. All I hope for is good companionship, love and affection, but that's possibly too much to ask for these days, If it is, Ill remain single, at least for now and can be quite happy as such. Thanks for your comments, they are appreciated and accepted in the manner in which they are given.

All I hope for is good companionship, love and affection

Which can be got from women your own age. Or a dog.

*The point you make about "looking after an older man" in later life is a fair one but perhaps tells you more about the woman herself than it does the man.I thought relationships were supposed to be "for richer or poorer and in sickness and health" but perhaps that just an old fashioned outdated concept these days."

I would be fully prepared to care for a spouse who became infirm. I've already pointed out that I have spent alot my life caring for elderly relatives. Are you implying that it's selfish to not want to almost guarantee you will be a carer for an elderly man when you are still fairly young and active? I think it actually says more about the entitled attitude of a man, expecting a woman to sacrifice more of her active days to become his carer because he couldn't get attracted to women his own age who had a greater chance of aging at a similar rate.

What age was your 19 year old wife when you started dating her?

morgycat feels entitled to a younger woman who may become his carer.

The End.

Morgycat as an older woman who has dated younger men normally I think you have to judge people on their merits. I have learnt that just because your year of birth tells one story the person themselves might be very different. You maybe pleasently surprised.

@morgycat
I'm currently OLD and I actually prefer a man to be at least a few years older than myself, although I'm not looking to have any more children, if I was it'd maybe be a different matter. I'm 37 and on my profile I have the age range set from 37-54. I still get messages from young men all the time (a 23yr old yesterday 😂) but just ignore them tbh. I've always felt men are not as mature as women and as such I prefer older. And I'm not all about looks either, looks are fairly unimportant to me, although I'm fairly tall so I need a man over 6 feet.
I think you're right about preconceived ideas, everyone has them as some previous comments proved. It's a shame, you would hope people nowadays would be more open minded but it never works out like that.

I fear that with the comments I have made I've created an impression of myself which I think is incorrect, but I would say that wouldn't I. Nevertheless it has been good to read everyone's thoughts and opinions and as what I think I am as an open-minded fair individual I am more than happy to take all that has been said on board. None of us is perfect and if we were, we probably wouldn't be having this exchange of views through this forum. A question was asked at what age did I start dating the woman who became my wife at 19 (I was 26 about to become 27) and the answer to that is 19. In marrying, I adopted her 13-month-old son as my son and when we split up, I brought him up along with our daughter as my son, which he had become by legal adoption earlier.
I fully accept the many points made about women my age and giving them a chance and not writing them off as I appear to have given the impression I do. My views are based on my experience to date and that's all I can go off and I mean absolutely no disrespect to such individuals. That's not a bias but a personal preference, nothing more. It may be interesting to know that my daughter is married to a man who is 15 years older than herself and she always found men around her age too immature to have a relationship with. Certainly, the man in question had a much younger outlook to life than his numerical age and it's more about compatibility than anything else I believe.
I appreciate we've probably exhausted this topic now and it's been very interesting and informative to read eveyone's views, thank you.

Hi Chewysmum,
Thanks for your comments in support of what I said. Sadly, I'm not over 6ft but it's reassuring to hear your views and obviously I agree with you.

@morgycat I'm sorry for your various losses. I lost my husband at 33 whilst pregnant, I understand loss and the impact it can have. But nothing in your post justifies your fixation on younger women. Your wife being a virtual child when you when you married her conforms the issue.

It's bizarre you accuse me of having age bias when you unashamedly state you won't consider a woman your own age

I think the clue is in the way morgycat writes. A bit Victorian Schoolmaster. Doesn't read youthful to me! also very quick to try to close the discussion down now he's been questioned on his partner age choices.

Maybe a tad wanting control?

It's not a "fixation" it's a personal preference and I believe there is a significant difference between the two. If I accused you of "bias" then that was never my intention and I'm sorry if my comment came across as such. I also don't actually think I said I won't consider a woman of my own age, but I have tried (but possibly failed) to explain why I have that personal preference. It is just that and is no disrespect to anyone of my age I can assure you. The woman I married was not "a virtual child" (at 19 she was an adult) and she had been married before me and she was the mother of a 10-month-old boy when I first met her. I'm sure she would not be happy as being described as such either then or now! I was 26, almost 27 and it was not a "fixation" based on age, believe it or not, it was love and I know that must be hard to accept but it does happen.
The loss of your husband at that age and under those circumstances is extremely sad and I agree that a significant loss can have its effects some of which are long-lasting. You have my greatest sympathy and understanding I can assure you.

Took me about 5 weeks to meet DH. But I really threw myself in to it, and was on the site every night. Exchanged loads of e-mails with men, some of whom seemed completely unhinged! Only met 2 in person. The first one was not the guy from his profile picture, so that was weird. The second one was DH. We are still together and going strong, 11 years later. Good luck!!

I'm with you morgycat. My preference is for men at least 10-20 years younger. I'm in my fifties and whilst there are a few men of my age who have a young ish outlook there are very few who are still attractive (yes I know there are some but unsurprisingly they are usually 'taken') and fit enough to keep up!
(Name changed obviously as I know I will get some grief for this).
In answer to the original question .... I've not found 'the one' but then I'm not looking for 'the one'. Took around a year OLD to find a good match. Around six years in real life to get a great match but that was mostly because of the age difference creating a barrier which doesn't exist in OLD.

But it's so hard to find someone like that. I can only relate to someone who is several years younger than me as my outlook on life and my physical attributes are much more akin to a woman younger than myself

Blimey, some blokes are so deluded.

I'm married, so not looking to date. However, I bet your search criteria would exclude someone of my age. I'm 49. I look about 40. I'm attractive. I'm very well off. How silly that you would exclude a whole swathe of women who might be suitable for you.

And no way would I assume I could attract a man several years younger than myself. That would be bonkers!

@justonce1 men in their 50s can look pretty old and rough, I agree! they don't seem to bother to put decent pics on their profiles, either. Dodgy selfies in badly decorated rooms, pics more car than man (or motorbikes! ) or group pics with their adult DC at weddings, so youre struggling to see who you're talking to!

Good luck - I am not having much luck either being on the wrong side of 50

7 years!