I am not suggesting that people with depression are arseholes but I have never been depressed myself so not sure how it would lead to treatment of others.
I am on the verge of moving out as my patience for DH moods has worn thin. We have been together since college and in that time DH suffered a trauma which has changed his personality.
He is very volatile and minor things (to me) set him on edge and cause him to explode. Things in his way; an untidy house (it isn't untidy); the baby crying. He is highly irritable and I'm run ragged trying to keep the house tidy, make nice dinners, look after the children and keep DH mellow. As this work is invisible to him, he wonders what it is I do all day.
He is not enjoying his job and it clouds his perspective on everything and makes him very grumpy. If I look at him, he glares back at me. He sneers if I say I'm going out to see friends and family and is generally unpleasant and cold towards me.
I can't take it anymore, I have never felt so hated by anyone and I feel ground down by him. But a part of me thinks I should be patient as he could be depressed. He won't see a doctor about it and definitely drinks to self medicate. Last weekend I was cooking a special dinner with the baby strapped to my front and he was relaxing in the sitting room. He was then huffing and puffing and I asked him what was wrong and he shouted that 'THIS is shit!' In front of the kids.
I feel sorry that he is feeling so miserable but he makes me feel responsible for it and the whole family is suffering from his moods.