Gonorrhoea

[Jennyie]

Hello,

I’m at my wits end. For the last 6 weeks I have experienced an increase in vaginal discharge, towards the latter stage it changed colour slightly - to a pale green.

Two weeks previous to this, after sexual intercourse with my Husband he experienced some dryness, uncomfortable red skin at the end of his penis (at the time we put it down to vaginal dryness after my period) He went to the sexual health clinic, but by the time his appointment came round it had cleared up and he wasn’t tested for anything.

One week later I went to the clinic, was tested, immediate results diagnosed gonorrhoea. Was treated. He was then tested and treated the same day, assuming any sexual partners would have contracted it too.

We have a completely monogamus relationship.

He has received a text message 4 days after his test to say all his results are negative.

I’m back at the clinic in 3 weeks to test again.

Not sure whether it’s worth mentioning that the clinic also looked for the ‘threads’ on my coil, Dr couldn’t find the coil. This is the second time it’s got ‘lost’
He’s having the snip this time...

He had gonorrhoea 30 years ago and was treated, have asked whether it lies dormant for that long and answer is unlikely.

Anyway, so, I guess my simple question is - how else is gonorrhoea contracted apart from sexual intercourse/oral sex/vaginal birth?

Apart from my immediate test results being wrong I’m not coming up with anything.

We left the country the day after the tests/treatment so I can’t really go to my GP etc. I’m back at the clinic the day after we get back. Just having to sit it out. Tearing my hair out.

Thanks for reading until the end 🥴

Any advice/ideas?

Best Wishes
Jennyie

OP probably has no results to wait for - you can get confirmed diagnosis on the spot, and that is what she describes as happening.

From NHS information page on gonorrhoea

"Getting the results

"Some clinics may be able to carry out rapid tests, when the doctor can view the sample through a microscope and give you your test results straight away.

"Otherwise, you'll have to wait up to 2 weeks to get the results."

His original notes say he ‘didn’t want to be tested’ and he’s disputed that

You can't really be that naive surely? None so blind as those who can't see.

Wake up to yourself.

He's a cheater.

I was also thinking BV might be a possibility. Especially if your coil has gone astray.

Did the clinic tell you that they'd test the swabs for a definite diagnosis and let you know? Or did they just rebook you for a check up to ensure the antibiotics had worked?

I'm sorry to say that if it's definitely gonorrhea then he has had some form of sexual contact with someone else who has it. Then he's passed it on to you.

His claims about his notes at the clinic don't make sense. I wonder if he went assuming they'd just give him treatment without testing. I would also be asking why he didn't go immediately - most clinics I have been to have same day appointments if you have symptoms. They also have evening and weekend clinics, although if you live in a small town you might need to go to the nearest big hospital.

Sorry OP it's all a bit shit. Hope you get home and retested and all is well with your health. In the meantime I'd use condoms if having sex with your H.

One week later I went to the clinic, was tested, immediate results diagnosed gonorrhoea

it's not Bacterial Vaginosis if she had an immediate diagnosis of gonorrhoea.

BV is not an STD.

Oh OP, if you've been officially told it's gonorrhoea and you've been monogamous...I'm afraid he hasn't been.

Sorry op... i dont know how long youve been together, but if u had it ...(from a previous relationship and u didnt have symptoms for however long) he would have inevitably contracted it somewhere along the line so theres no way his results would have been negative (without due treatment: antibiotics) it can stay dormant and have no symptoms but it would still test positive... had u had checks at any point while being together? To know u were both free of stds? Im sorry op... but it doenst sound good...

Hate to say it OP but sounds like your partner caught it and then got treated ASAP, but he had already passed it on to you.

He got treated and you still had the STI. Now you have done tess again with him it’s saying his negative but yes of course it would as he has already got treated privately.

As far as I’m aware the main and sometimes only way to transmit a STI is via sex.

If it was definitely that (you have had a positive result back from the lab) then one of you picked it up through sex. And if it wasnt you....

He may not have had full sex - it can be picked up through oral sex as well I believe if the other person has it in their throat so he may have not had full sex with someone else.

Also as an aside, I had an increase in green discharge earlier a few months after having a baby. Odorless. No other symptoms. All the tests (BV, thrush, and STI tests at the clinic) all came back clear. They put it down to a change in hormones. So if your original swab came back clear from the lab maybe it was this

I'm certain that if you had gonorrhea from before your marriage without symptoms showing then at some point your DH would have also contracted it. You can't have unprotected sex with someone who has a STD without catching it yourself sooner or later.
I'm really sorry but like previous posters I think your DH is lying to you about his clinic visit and has also cheated on you a short time before you begin to show symptoms

I work in sexual health. There is no way to get gonorrhoea except through sexual contact (oral/vaginal/anal sex). If you got symptoms recently and tested positive, it’s a relatively new infection. Either you had sex with someone else or he did. Obviously you know the answer to that. It sounds like he got treated and didn’t tell you hoping you wouldn’t find out, but you did.

I know a guy who had Gonorrhoea and found out and got treated quickly ASAP sand didn’t tell his partner. She started developing symptoms a few weeks later and by then he had already been clean and cleared up. He somehow managed to convinced her she caught it from a dirty toilet seat 🤷‍♀️ (I know, I know) and anyway by the time it was found it was quite aggressive and left her infertile

How do you know he hasn't cheated op?

Unless they’ve got your test results mixed up with someone else’s? Or it’s been missed on his test. I’d ask him to go back for a second test to make doubly sure, but for it to be there in the first place someone has got it from someone else outside of your relationship.

OP a long shot and I don’t know how long you’ve been together, but is it possible he contracted it a second time before your relationship started and it’s been lying dormant. Then he got it treated privately after passing it on to you.

Also, when you became monogamous, did you both get tested for all STIs?

If you know you have been faithful, then it has to mean he hasn't been faithful.

I'm really sorry, OP, but that's the only answer. I know he's told you he was faithful but the fact is he's given you gonorrhoea.

Please don't scrape the barrel of "plausible" reason people...

He's cheated OP and treated himself....in his mind he can now blame this on you if push comes to shove.

Wake up and smell the coffee before it's something incurable.

Have you had this conversation with him? Told him that you suspect he’s cheated straight to his face?

If you've been faithful then that means that he's been unfaithful. So not only is he cheating on you but he's also put your health at risk. In addition he's lied about what happened at the sexual health clinic so that he can potentially blame you for the std and get off Scot free himself, as well as knowing full well that if he's had an std then you most likely have caught it off him and he's let you remain untreated (until you decided to get tested yourself). All in all, he's a horrible piece of work.

I'm curious as to what his reaction was when his test was negative and yours was positive?

I was wondering the same as RantyAnty... what was his reaction when your test was positive? If i knew i hadnt cheated, and my partner tested positive, i would want an explanation!!

I also work in sexual health.

Sorry, OP, but the most likely story is that your husband contracted gonorrhoea within two weeks of developing some rather textbook symptoms, and then gave it to you.

A resurgence of dormant untreated gonorrhoea is far less likely and would probably manifest with something like pelvic pain/testicular pain/arthritis.

There do seem to be some inconsistencies with your husband's story. I am really not sure why he wasn't tested on his first visit to the STI clinic. If he'd seen me, even if his symptoms had "gone", he'd have had all routine tests plus a urethral swab.

There's also some frustrating misinformation here - BV is diagnosed rapidly, under the microscope. It looks completely different from gonorrhoea (of course, you can have both). Yes, there's still a further "gold standard" lab process needed to formally confirm a gonorrhoea diagnosis (this can take 2 weeks), but whoever looked at OP's initial slide saw something strongly consistent with gonorrhoea.

No one has been unfaithful. That’s why I’m so confused

I'm sorry OP but if you haven't, it's looking like your DH has. A lot of people can't believe their partners could cheat but you seem adamant that he hasn't. Why are you so convinced because my first thought would be the opposite.

You need to confront him. He's put your health at risk.

Sorry he's done this to you

If you'd made your way to the clinic surely you'd just get tested whether the symptoms were there or not.

Is he questioning whether you cheated, or just accepting it as 'one of those things'?
It it's the latter, he's definitely lying to you.

I don't know if OP will return as she's adamant he hasn't cheated.