Feel like I’m having complete piss taken out of me

[Mugginshere19]

Just left work for maternity leave last week and my dp is just getting on my last nerve. Seems to think my maternity leave is a time to fill my day up doing odd jobs for him, cleaning the house, picking up after him and expecting a hot tea on the table after I’ve picked him up after work. I get up to take him (sometimes can be a 6am start) I take his kids to school on the days we have them and I just feel like he’s taking the piss.

He will come home and do absolutely fuck all. Won’t even move the dinner plates from the table after we have eaten and I’m getting sick of it. Came downstairs the other day after I had been having a lie down as my back was in bits and he had piled up the bows and plates him and his kids had been suing next to the sink, had been rooting around in the dryer and left the clothes half in and half out. Absolutely infuriated me. Can’t even wash the oven trays and put them back in the oven he leaves them covering the sink and that is the biggest pet hate of mine, as no one else can use the sink without finishing the job he started!

His child has been rather unwell and had a poo accident, my partner put his shorts in the shower, without removing the non slip bath Mat and rinsed the shit off but left shit all up and down the bath! I said why have you done this and not cleaned it properly ? He said well you’re at home -!!!!! Not here to pick up after everyone!! Is anyone else’s dp like this? The way I feel at the minute is like going on strike. Let him make the tea, clean up after tea and then do any other bits that need doing!

Feel like I’m massively being taken for granted and I don’t need the stress this far on and it’s going to be an explosive argument if I have to speak to him about pitching in and also about cleaning the toilet after he’s made a right old mess of it! Some people really like to live in squalor - I’m not one of them and I find it highly embarrassing when people use my bathroom and there’s dirty stains down the back!!

Rant over

Pull him up on it every time op. The men who do this do it because they can get away with it.

no no I’ll do it, and made a joke saying he’s just been working but he will do it seen as though he doesn’t do anything around the house.

That sounds like sarcasm to me.

Honestly, OP-he is being horrible. Sounds like he’s jealous you’re not at work when he is??

Yeh that was no joke, it was a dig, cos thats how he really feels. Theyl be many more serious words, until he'l have worn you down enough not to bother any more (sounds like your almost there, coming on MN to vent instead of arguing with him speaks volumes to me). He wont change, hes showing (and telling) you who he is. With bells on. You wont listen though.

Why are so many men like this? Because too many women except it, thats why.

My ex got very like this. It took me longer than it should have done but there is a reason why he's an ex. Apparently it was 'my job' to do all the house work, running around after the kids, cooking etc despite being in the process of setting up a business and also working part time at the same time.
Don't do what I did which was get bored of asking him to pull his weight all the time. You have already asked him nicely but firmly to do his bit. If he starts this again I think you need to make a real stand by going to stay with family for a couple of weeks. Let him realise that you won't put up with it and you aren't afraid to walk if unacceptable behaviour continues.

Total prick !! let’s be honest they (dps) can be lazy gits but what tops it off is you’re going the extra mile picking him up dropping his kids off, with being pregnant on top he could absolutely stick it what a useless a hole and the bloody selfishness of it!

Do you know what I did around the house when I was heavily pregnant and on ML with a newborn? Fuck all. Was laying on the sofa and resting. DH did everything. And that's not exceptional, that's what you should expect too. He expects you to be grateful because he finally moved a finger.

Tie a plastic bag with approx the weight you've gained from pregnancy round his waist and give him a list of the jobs you do every bloody day which HE then has to do, while YOU swan about leaving all sorts of crap behind you for him to clean and tidy !
Tell him when he's done all that, for 8-9 months, including going to work every week on top of all that, THEN he can tell you he's 'tired' CF !

So many men are like this because so many women enable them by running around after them and moaning about it instead of expecting a fellow adult human to act like one.

He definitely sounds lazy and entitled. He’s going to get a shock in a few weeks when the baby is here! I am the same as you OP, I like a nice clean and tidy house and I am quite meticulous about it. My DH literally doesn’t see mess or care about it (mostly due to his upbringing) but he wouldn’t moan about the kids toys not being picked up or his dinner not being on the table because mess doesn’t bother him. I think it’s absolutely awful for your H to have these cleanliness standards when he does absolutely FA to help live up to these standards and instead expects YOU to do it to his satisfaction! What an A-hole! I would tell him to stuff it and go back to work for a few more weeks so he’s forced to do it and can’t bemoan that you’re on Mat leave!