Don’t know what to do about this date tomorrow

[TashieWoo]

Second date with someone I met online is meant to be tomorrow... we got on v well when we met a couple of weeks ago (I had to cancel the date arranged for last week because of work) and spoke on the phone a few times before we met and since then, with a few texts every day. All good so far and he seems (seemed?) really keen. I haven’t been OTT in the slightest, he is 90% the one to start a conversation.

Tomorrow I have got us tickets (not that expensive) to an activity that I really enjoy that he has always wanted to go to. It was his birthday last weekend and I got myself a big new job last week so it’s a bit of a celebration. He has kept saying how much he’s looking forward to it.

Today I didn’t hear from him all day but that’s ok... he doesn’t always text in the morning. At 8.30pm I messaged him a screenshot of an app you can download re the activity and he hasn’t responded which isn’t like him.

I don’t know whether to just cancel tomorrow and see if I can get a refund, I feel like a bit of a mug really. Any words of advice?

Can you tell if he’s read the message?

Hang on in there... he may be wondering how keen you are (As hes mostly the one to start the convo).

What time are you meeting him tomorrow?

Just text him and ask if he can still make tomorrow at X time. If you dont get a response by say... 10am... cancel the activity.

He might just be out / busy / shaking like a leaf about seeing a girl he likes again.

Has he seen the message, do you know?

If he doesn't respond, take someone else with you.

I’d cancel as you haven’t heard from him. Or arrange to go with a friend

Why don't you ring him first?

It’s WhatsApp so I can see he’s seen it... that was a couple of hours after I sent it though I think. He’s probably out, and I’m also concerned because his tinder location has changed (don’t really know how that works), but of course he’s entitled to be dating whoever he likes at this stage. I’m concerned that he’s a bit of a ladies man, not that he’s ever said anything of the sort, he’s just a bit more of a challenge than my ex, and for that reason perhaps a little intimidating?

I messaged him first on Friday... we had a little chat but we were both busy that evening then I messaged him on sat morning as it was his birthday.. so it is a two way street but generally he messages first. Call me old fashioned but I think guys prefer it that way.

Sounds like a headache you could do without .

But why are you thinking about it ? Just go with the flow . After all it’s a second date !

You can ask if he's still up for it. A screenshot isn't really a question is it?

I wouldn't jump to conclusions, he's not done anything wrong!

I'd leave it until tomorrow. If you don't hear from him, take a friend.
I'd, also, be dating 2-3 men at this stage--get back on Tinder!!

And yes of course he can be seeing other people! So can you. 100% commitment to you and only you after just one date would be creepy and strange.

Thank you for talking me down... I think I’m a bit sensitive to these things as my ex (two year relationship) ended up completely taking me for granted and I vowed that I would never let anyone do that to me again. So changes in communication styles bother me.

He was definitely up for it yesterday so I’m not questioning that as such, but why didn’t he reply to my message? And I’m really quite disappointed/pissed off (even though I shouldn’t be as there is no exclusivity at this stage) if he’s just out with other girls when I’ve listened to what he wants to do and paid for the tickets! It’s an activity I love so I do have a bit of a vested interest but still... I don’t know I’m just feeling a bit insecure.

@IsItChristmas and @Lifeisabeach09 you’re right... I don’t have much time to be dating loads of people though, hardly have time to see my friends either around work and other commitments!

Chill - give him time.

He might just be busy

I think his just busy...

Confidence is sexy. Insecurity is not. Be sexy

@IsItChristmas you are right, and he did message back late last night. I haven’t replied, going to see if he messages this morning.

I know, I find it hard to be confident though. On the face of it, and from what my friends tell me I have lots going for me, I just don’t feel like it inside. It’s horrible and self sabotaging really

If he messaged last night, it's kinda your turn to message (depending in what he said). While I wouldn't go OTT he may now be wondering if you're ignoring him.

Your tinder location moves with you?

And yes a screenshot doesn't say much but i know what you mean, I would feel worried to but I would defo chase up as you need to know and at this stage have nothing to lose with him good luck

Oh man! this sounds hard work. It really does not need this level of scrutiny. As a PP has said confidence is sexy. Work on the assumption that he likes you and wants to see you again... why the hell not? You’re fabulous!

What did he say in his message last night?

OP this whole thing does sound like hard work. Why do you need him to message you again before responding? He could have had (probably has) a perfectly reasonable explanation for not getting back to you sooner. Don't sabotage yourself by overthinking things to the extent you push people away.

So he messaged last night and you are now waiting for another message?
That's not really how it work but... OK.
What did he say last night?
Is the date still on for later?
I'd be asking the question this morning.
'Are we still on for X activity later? If not then let me know ASAP so I can cancel'
Job done!

He’s messages you, so msg him.