Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He moved on after 1 week

55 replies

Phoenixxx · 03/11/2019 11:42

We were seeing each other for 2 months, he ended it, I was gutted enough, but exactly a week later it came up on Facebook saying he was in a relationship with someone else !
He started a new job and this is where they met by the looks of it.
It feels like a sick joke, I am in bits. Who is in a relationship with someone else 1 week later ? It's like I never knew him.
I want to get over this, I know it didnt last that long between us but i'm really upset.
How can I get over this fast ?

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 03/11/2019 11:51

You were only together 2 months.

Original poster
Phoenixxx · 03/11/2019 11:53

I know it's short but I saw him a lot. Just feel like having someone else immediately shows that I didn't matter much to him, and I really didn't expect it.

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 03/11/2019 11:54

That’s probably why he ended it. It’s probably been longer than a week

ComtesseDeSpair · 03/11/2019 11:55

You only knew each other a few weeks, and it sounds like you’re both the type to drastically over invest - you being “in bits” over someone you had a handful of dates with and he considering himself “in a relationship” with someone new he’s known only days.

Forget him. Delete him from FB. Do something nice for yourself. Go and spend time with your friends. Talk to them. Have a think about why you’re so eager to move so fast so quickly.

Looneytune253 · 03/11/2019 11:56

I saw a meme that summed this up perfectly this week. Men are happy at first but they end up broken over time but women are broken at first but end up happy and stronger

Original poster
Phoenixxx · 03/11/2019 11:56

That's true but it wasnt a handful of dates, I saw him every few days for 2 months and really liked him.
I think it's long enough to know if you want to be with someone and to have some sort of feelings.

OP posts:
MrsF94 · 03/11/2019 11:59

I know it's tough and even short relationships can be intense so you're allowed to be upset! As hard as it may be, I say delete him and focus your attentions elsewhere. By that I don't necessarily mean jump straight back into dating (but hey, that might work for you!) but do things that take your mind off him. Mr Right is elsewhere and everything will come together soon enough. X

TheStoic · 03/11/2019 12:04

It hasn’t been one week, unfortunately.

Pinkflipflop85 · 03/11/2019 12:09

Every few days over 2 months is hardly the romance of the century. He was probably seeing her in between.

Move on. It isn't worth a second thought.

RantyAnty · 03/11/2019 12:15

It's upsetting but I suppose he was still dating during this time as you two barely knew each other and still in the getting to know each other phase.

At17 · 03/11/2019 12:19

I’m so sorry, pain is pain however long you were together and feelings can’t just be switched off. Of course this hurts.

Block him on FB if you can because otherwise you’ll end up torturing yourself. And be very gentle with yourself. Time will help but this must really hurt now.

rainbowconfetti · 03/11/2019 12:20

It's easy to move on if you are not that into someone though.

Bluntness100 · 03/11/2019 12:29

I mean this gently op, but it's really not enough time, I'm sorry. Th proof of that is the fact he's moved on so quickly, which you didn't expect of him. It's also likely he decided to get with this woman, or was with her, before he ended it with yourself, so for at least part of the relationship his interest lay elsewhere.

Try to think that what you thought you knew was simply more about what you wished him to be, rather than what he is. 💐

littlepaddypaws · 03/11/2019 12:31

it's hard but you are are well rid of this person. he did you a favour. it was never going to last if he moved on so quickly, be kind to yourself.

Original poster
Phoenixxx · 03/11/2019 12:32

Thanks everyone. I think it hurts sometimes when it comes totally out of the blue, and with shorter things you hold onto the 'what could have been'. I've now blocked him and really don't feel like dating anyone else but I will do my best to keep busy.

OP posts:
littlepaddypaws · 03/11/2019 12:40

keeping yourself busy is the way forward, and taking a break from dating is a good idea, too much emotional baggage to get rid of first.

BarbedBloom · 03/11/2019 13:17

He was probably seeing you both and decided he clicked more with her and wanted to make it official. A few friends have said this is how a lot of people date, seeing a few at once and then becoming official with the one they like the most. It sucks but you are right, keep busy and no contact.

Original poster
Phoenixxx · 03/11/2019 13:24

It's weird because he was working busy hours as a chef and I don't think he knew her before as he only became Facebook friends with her when we finished/he started that job.
Am I just old fashioned or is not common courtesy that if you are sleeping with somebody you should let them know that they aren't the only one ? 🙄

OP posts:
tuliplass · 03/11/2019 13:36

I can understand that you feel hurt even if you only saw your ex for 2 months. A breakup can be more hurtful if you have been seeing someone for a short time because you haven't had a chance for things to develop.

There's no easy way to get over someone fast. Try not to look at his social media posts. Try to keep busy and be good to yourself - exercise, treats etc. Time is the best healer. In time you will look back and wonder what you saw in someone so fickle (I say this from my own experience several years ago).

All the best Thanks

Bellaxx8 · 03/11/2019 13:38

If you haven’t agreed to be exclusive then he can sleep with who he wants even if he’s seeing you.

PumpkinP · 03/11/2019 13:49

Sadly what Bellaxx8 said is true. This is why people should stop assuming it’s a relationship unless you have discussed that you are exclusive and are only seeing each other.

readitandwept · 03/11/2019 13:51

How did you meet him?

Original poster
Phoenixxx · 03/11/2019 13:54

I must be massively out of the loop then. He was trying to get out of using condoms too.
Met him through a friend on a night out, I think i'm not cut out for this dating malarkey !

OP posts:
Wintercandles · 03/11/2019 14:15

Ummm stop being 'friends' on Facebook.

Original poster
Phoenixxx · 03/11/2019 14:42

So now if I date someone I should assume there are others, and it's gonna be like some sort of 'contest' to see which one of us he likes the most ? 🙄 God, it feels like The Bachelor or something

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread