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Original poster

Would you be happy with this?

78 replies

Secondsight · 02/11/2019 08:28

My DP and I see each other once during the week usually late on say 8.30/9pm. And most of the weekend. Last night he came over and said I'm going out for lunch with my DD on Sunday which means the weekend is cut short. He's always going on about how much he misses me etc.
He lives with his DD who is 24 and I felt that he should have at least said beforehand or made it a little later. It seems as if he is starting to make excuses up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Secondsight · 04/11/2019 21:59

Now I think of it a couple of months ago we did this race, he finished before me and was making his way to meet me. He didn't think I'd seen him but he gave this woman a big hug. I only saw the back of her and didn't recognise her. I wasn't happy because he's so insecure always mentioning how I might meet someone better and how there are much better looking muscular men around so basically needing to reassure all the time. I don't think he'd have liked it if I was hugging a big strapping bloke.
I couldn't help but ask why he was hugging this woman.
He said he'd had a really difficult run and although he didn't know her that well he gave her a hug. Nice I just thought that inappropriate and a potential Conquest.
We had a chat on Saturday and I said as regards meeting his DD for lunch that we just communicated better doesn't look like we'll be doing that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Secondsight · 04/11/2019 22:01

I really feel like having it out with him but what's the point? At least I know I wasn't going mad as I was doubting myself so much.

OP posts:
Thinkingaboutthestats · 04/11/2019 22:08

So are you planning to finish it with him?

Butterymuffin · 04/11/2019 22:15

Sorry it's gone that way. I think I would want to say to him 'I don't like being lied to. Your daughter was away at the weekend, not with you, and someone told me you were actually meeting X from running instead.' It sounds like that's the end of it and you can certainly end it, but I wouldn't want him thinking he'd got away with deception.

NightsOfCabiria · 04/11/2019 22:30

For me, it would be the lying that hurt the most and the fact that it was done to pursue another woman.

I take it he’s acting all innocent? Ask him how his lunch date with his daughter went.

Original poster
Secondsight · 04/11/2019 22:40

He chatted last night on messenger about how nice it was and was thinking of doing it once a fortnight which I thought was a good idea but not now! When he messages tonight I'll just get him to phone me and I can tell him then. I don't think there's any going back on this whatever he says.

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 04/11/2019 22:48

I am very sorry, OP. He lied to cover up his date with another woman. He has betrayed your trust. This would be the end for me.

RLOU30 · 04/11/2019 22:49

Not read past page 2 but fuck I wish my dad would even call me let alone meet me for !lunch. Why on earth would this be an issue. Find something else to do.

MsDogLady · 04/11/2019 22:50

You deserve to be treated with respect by a man of integrity.

RLOU30 · 04/11/2019 22:50

The first time I don't read the full thread. That teaches me sorry OP

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 04/11/2019 22:54

Hand him his lying arse OP. Always listen to your gut. It's the one thing you can always rely on Thanks

Grobagsforever · 04/11/2019 22:56

Wow what a knob. So sorry OP. Don't take any shit from him

Interestedwoman · 04/11/2019 23:39

Being an inconsiderate wanker was bad enough, this is something else! So sorry you found this out. Hugs xxxx

Interestedwoman · 04/11/2019 23:41

Well obviously I'm not sorry it didn't happen behind your back, but sorry it's happened at all xxx

ExcitedForFuture · 05/11/2019 00:10

Ah, well that changes things OP. That's a good gut instinct you have there!

Cantthink2 · 05/11/2019 00:44

This would absolutely not be a problem.

So you don't think that if you've planned the weekend together you should at least say that's not going to be the case
Had you both planned something together that would now have to be cancelled?

He wanted to see me twice in the week but I felt it was too much
Sounds like he's damned if he does & damned if he doesn't. It cant always be on your terms. He wants to see more of you & gets called needy but he's having 1 lunch with his daughter & he's inconsiderate.

Two years they've not had a lunch together. He's given you almost a weeks notice. That's plenty of time. He's done nothing wrong.

Cantthink2 · 05/11/2019 00:48

Sorry just seen the last posts. What a liar!!
That's a disgrace using his daughter as an excuse too. He's done plenty wrong. D**k.

Interestedwoman · 05/11/2019 00:58

@Cantthink2 Yes, he didn't give her a week's notice either anyway, just turned up on the Friday night and told her how it was going to be.

Thinkingaboutthestats · 05/11/2019 01:25

Oh yeah once a fortnight he wishes! Hope you are ok @Secondsight

maras2 · 05/11/2019 01:46

How thick is he?
Did he think that he'd get away with this shit in these social media times and it sounds like you do your sport in the same circles. Confused
You'll be better off without this shit for brains eejit.

Original poster
Secondsight · 05/11/2019 08:07

Looking back it was no wonder I needed space I was getting totally love bombed. He couldn't stop thinking about me constantly being asked if I loved him, did I miss him, I could hardly breath and I had to calm it down.
I thought he was happy with it.
I asked him to phone me last night and I asked how his daughter was and how she'd enjoyed the weekend away. There was this silence then "fine... Yes.."
I told him I knew who he was with and he started saying but you know Irene, that's not her real name. We were just meeting up for a chat, I just feel I can't have any female friends anymore with you. This is despite the fact he gets so jealous himself of any males I know.
I just said I couldn't understand why he had lied and if it was innocent why put me in this position? Why not just finish things unless he was just hedging his bets. This is really gutting it doesn't bode well for any future relationships. I ended up putting the phone down and blocking him. Could there be anyway back from this? I've hardly slept and have to be at work for 9.

OP posts:
Dontsayyouloveme · 05/11/2019 08:31

At the end of the day OP he lied and then used you as the excuse as to why he lied. Also he’s extremely jealous and needy. Do you want to be with a man like that?

hellsbellsmelons · 05/11/2019 08:57

That's up to you OP.
Do you want to be a man who lies to you?
Who probably has another woman?
Peronsally, I'd just keep him blocked and move on.
The love bombing at the start would have had me running a mile.
Trust your gut OP - ALWAYS!

Thinkingaboutthestats · 05/11/2019 09:01

It would be the lie more than anything that would be the end for me - once there is no trust there can be no relationship.

Realistically though it sounds like an affair waiting to happen to me Sad

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 05/11/2019 09:30

So he wants a fortnightly shag from another woman and you're wondering if there's any way back from this? Seriously?! He's lied and is planning if not already having an affair. Ffs woman, raise your bar off the floor.