Would you be happy with this?

[Secondsight]

My DP and I see each other once during the week usually late on say 8.30/9pm. And most of the weekend. Last night he came over and said I'm going out for lunch with my DD on Sunday which means the weekend is cut short. He's always going on about how much he misses me etc.
He lives with his DD who is 24 and I felt that he should have at least said beforehand or made it a little later. It seems as if he is starting to make excuses up.

Several PPs have asked if you had plans on Sunday. Are you doing something that’s been booked in advance or just hanging out together? It makes quite a difference as to whether he’s being rude or reasonable.

It's hard to say. He might have made the plan for lunch just before he came over to yours.

He might want to celebrate with his dd (birthday, promotion...) or she might need a meal out to cheer herself up. (Dad might know an awesome carvery)

It sounds worryingly regimented if you never have other people to meet at the weekend, hobbies or errands to run etc After 2 years I'd expect some flexibility and more time together tbh. I'd also expect you to have hung out with his dd,

It isn't regimented and I'm free and easy most of the time. We live close by and he sometimes pops to work. I also work some weekends.
He went out with his DD two weeks ago I worked the sat he saw her the Sunday so said he couldn't see me so we'd seen each other once that week.
I think you are all probably right and I need to relax but with coming over later in the week and then not seeing me on the Sunday I'm starting to doubt things and feeling insecure. We are both training for a cycling event and where I live is a great place to cycle we were then going for lunch then he was going home.

"He was very needy and is very insecure always going on about how much he misses me how I might meet someone else."

This alone would have alarm bells ringing for me, OP. This is usually projection - an unconscious admission on his part that he has a propensity to meet someone else while he's with you.

A typical weekend might be we do a park run. He goes to rugby we meet later or I go out with a friend etc.
It's not like we sit there holding hands all weekend, or we meet up and go on a walk with friends. But we do generally talk about what we are going to do etc.

This is so weird! He’s meeting daughter for lunch, I can’t figure out the problem.

There's nothing wrong with him meeting his daughter but we had plans together.

We don't live with each other so he will leave here 11 or 12 and that's the weekend cut short he will then go home. That's my issue.

Yet you’re the one who chooses to only see him once a week after being together 2 years?

No once during the week and most but not all weekends and not the whole weekend. . Once a week wouldn't work for most people certainly not for me.

Why have you not moved your relationship forward in the past two years?

Me and my DP don’t live together in fact we have a LDR and have been together for almost seven years and still only see each other at weekends due to distance/work commitments which have also prevented us from moving to be together.

But even with that in mind there come times sometimes when one or other of us will want to do something over a weekend and then plans change. In fact recently he took time off to spend with me and the night before he went back I went out with my DS to an event which had been pre-booked. Conversely he will sometimes go to e.g. work functions etc on a Friday night and not come back until the Saturday. It would be incredibly unreasonable of either of us to start being prescriptive about who we could spend time with when we’re supposed to be together....

Where is this relationship heading for you? If you live close to each other and are still only seeing each other once a week then tbh it doesn’t sound as if it’s a relationship but more like a convenience, iyswim.

It's one lunch with his daughter, I cannot see the issue.

What plans did you have with him?

It isn't once a week it's as stated in my previous posts. And yes he goes out with his friends and I mine.
We don't live together because my daughter who is 15 lives with me and he lives with his DD at the moment.
At the beginning things were intense but after two years things have settled. My only gripe has been changing plans when we had made other plans.

So PPs you think that if you have made arrangements to do something it's perfectly acceptable just to change it. You just state you are doing something else?

It's the way he said it to you. Its happened now. So if you want to continue with him you need to let your feelings known. Tell him you were upset that he did not consider you two already had plans before making a different plan. That in future you would like to be asked in advance if it's OK to rearrange your plans.

My situation is similar to you as my BF and I still have adult children at home. We've also been together over two years. Again like you, due to work etc we see each other the odd night during the week and then mainly at the weekend. We were both on AL last week and had been planning to go away for four or five days but we didn't because his 19 yr old DD couldn't get back from work late at night. I was really disappointed but ultimately I support him because it's his DD and there's all the things he does for me.

I'm sorry OP but I think you're BU

Exactly forumdonkey there was a reason and that's fine. He could have seen his DD later after our plans.

Your DP didn't just drop things because he felt like it that's the difference!

He’s given you a whole weeks notice that he’s having Sunday lunch with his daughter. You have absolutely nothing to be upset about. He’s being a nice dad.

A whole weeks notice no he announced it late on the Friday.

It turns out he wasn't even with his DD but a woman from our runni g club. . It now makes sense dropping our plans at the last minute and suddenly wanting to spend more time with his DD.
I should have trusted my gut feelings. Don't be too niave and easy going it obviously doesn't work.

Did he tell you or did you find out another way, I’m sorry to hear that if it is the latter? x

He was with some other woman?! Your gut obviously was telling you something! What's going on?

My friend from the running club messaged me. My DP use the same club but I go on a Monday he a Friday. The reason being that he didn't like to encroach on my thing. So he does a track session and it's mainly women who go.
She just said she'd seen my DP with this woman who tbh I had my suspicions about, they are always flirting but I thought was innocent.
I shouldn't have but I looked on his daughters Facebook page and she was away at the weekend. So what am I supposed to think of that. I suppose I know now. I haven't spoken to him I feel sick.

So sorry to hear that! What a knob