Brexit ruining family relationships

[vincentsleftear]

I've had an awful row with a relative about Brexit, and after considering the things they said, I'm struggling to see how to rescue things, or if I even want to.
Since my parents died, I've not been that close to my mum's side of the family. We're all pretty far flung now, and to be honest, I don't have that much in common with a lot of them. We do meet up occasionally, but these days it's only a couple of times a year. There is a history of various estrangements in the family, and I think my mum and her siblings were all pretty damaged by their upbringing. I found out after she died that her father (who died when I was a baby) used to beat my grandmother and the children.
I had a normal, middle class upbringing. My parents worked hard, and compared to some other members of the family, we were quite comfortably off. Me being an only child made a difference too. I was happy, but anxious as a child, and I have suffered with mental health problems on and off throughout my life. However, I've held down a steady job, have a lovely husband and child, and life is pretty good.
My relative recently joined Facebook, and hasn't really posted anything so far. My Facebook is quite political - I'm fairly left wing, a remainer, and the majority (though not all!) of people on there are similar. I'm aware of the social media bubbles we build around ourselves, but I do have quite a few friends who have differing views. I would never be so crass as to abuse them online, and I've never had any trouble on my timeline.
At the beginning of the week I posted something about the election, and my relative posted a vitriolic reply, accusing me of being out of touch, a class betrayer, spoilt, arrogant and stupid. She revealed herself to be a Brexit party fan, and really laid in to me. What hurt most though was that she said I always thought I was so fucking wonderful because I went to university, and yet my parents were so disappointed and ashamed of me because of my mental health (I had a breakdown about 25 years ago and couldn't work for nearly a year), and that I was mad like my grandmother on my dad's side (she suffered "with her nerves" as it was referred to years ago).
I was stunned by this - thankfully some of my wonderful friends jumped in and in the nicest way possible verbally eviscerated her.
I know at first my parents didn't really understand my mental health problems, but they were subsequently nothing but supportive. I was in tears that she could say something like this. I've always been open about my mental health when asked, but I don't speak about it much. I really don't know what to do now - I'm tempted to cut her out of my life - but I hate confrontation, and my anxiety has really been ramped up by this. Some fab friends are horrified - I've had people message me asking who the fuck she is, and how out of order she was - this from people that know me far better than her.
I just wanted to rant really, I veer from feeling upset, angry and sick. What would you do?

Cut her out for good. You don't need a nasty piece of work like that in your life

People can vote either way and be a complete arsehole. A small amount of people would have voted leave for racist reasons, but most of us didn’t. My family is extremely diverse (Afro Caribbean; Chinese Asian; Italian and British Caucasian). We voted to leave the EU for a variety of reasons, none being to stop people of black skin colour being welcomed to our country 🙄

People have behaved disgracefully on both sides, which is a shame. Especially behind the wall of social media. Your relative is an example of this op.

Personally I try not to post my political views on SM as I respect the fact that others might not agree and some reposts etc can be inflammatory. I’ve muted any of my friends who tend to do this, along with one particular vegan friend who also posts way too much in her opinion.

im sure you had fabulous sensible reasons to vote leave, and are not like most brexiteers at all.

A small amount of people would have voted leave for racist reasons
A small amount you say. 🤔

You don’t hate or block people because they’re pro Brexit, or because they have different political views to you. You can hate or black them because they’re arseholes. Big hairy arseholes. Your aunt is entitled to love Farage if she wants (though, EWWWW) but she is being a total arsehole by broadcasting your health and family problems all over Facebook. You are entirely working your rights to block her, and that’s what I world do. Just block her.

This sounds really stressful. I have someone in my life as well, who I can't talk to. She thinks it's a difference of opinion and likes to tell me she tolerates my opinion (remain); whereas for me her UKIP vote is the sign of a horrible, horrible person with racist tendencies that went unvoiced for decades.

She cannot grasp that it's so very far beyond a difference of political opinion. That IMO is a real failing of Brexiteers: they'll go for the jugular if challenged but refuse to see that the problem is that half the country is utterly disgusted with them as individuals.

Hi OP, your description of your family and upbringing sound very much like mine. All I can say is that if it hadn't been for Brexit and FB I probably would have remained blissfully ignorant of what half my family actually think about me and my foreign husband. Of course they never actually say any of this to my face, and would probably deny it if challenged but don't seem to realise that the continual sharing of memes and posts about foreigners do actually hurt and yes, we do take it personally.

Just shake that turd of a relative off the bottom of your shoe op. Get rid. She's a bully like her own father!