Have a feeling...

[Nc77]

So I have an uneasy feeling about my dp at the minute.

He’s lovely to me every day, kind caring, never shouts at me but I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that something is wrong.

He was texting on his phone the other night and I just glanced over and he had been using the love heart eyes emojis and a peach one which he has never sent to me (I know this sounds pathetic but bare with me) I know he uses the peach when he’s talking about arses. Like I said he hasn’t sent it to me or the love heart eyes so I’m thinking who has he been sending them to. Another thing is he is on WhatsApp quite a lot but if I ever message him he doesn’t even bother opening them.

I have been on here a while and read horrible stories about women who have had a ‘feeling’ and turns out their partners have been seeing OW or using prostitutes and I just really hope this isn’t the case with me but I can’t seem to shake it.

I am 8 month pregnant so could it be my hormones? I have been so close to asking him outright if anything is going on as I’m not really one to go through his phone, not that he hides it or anything. We are currently not having sex as he feels it’s weird with me being so far on which is fine as I don’t feel like it anyway. He’s affectionate in other ways, kisses, cuddles and asks me if I’m okay every day and is generally so nice and we don’t really argue or even raise voices at one another. But reading others stories about their partners husbands who have ticked all the boxes but still turned out to be lying cheating swines has really given me something to think about.

What should I do?

I’ll just add that when I say he never bothers opening the messages, he does open them as we do keep in touch during the day but there’s tomes when he doesn’t open then but is on and off WhatsApp over the course of a few hours

Oh dear, this must be very unsettling for you when you should be excited about the baby. I'd say that if he's sending these texts when you are there and making no special effort to hide his phone then there its unlikely there is anything to worry about. I wouldn't ask him directly about the messages but if you think he is frustrated because you're not having sex why don't you ask him about that? But be prepared for him to say he is and consider how you would respond.

This should be a happy time for both of you so you need to get this out of your mind.

Do you ever say " hey, who're you texting?'
Just in a " making conversation' type way....?

I know he will have his own needs and I am not opposed to him watching porn, which I know he does but we don’t speak about it as I don’t think there’s a reason to and I know he wouldn’t want to make me feel like I’m not good enough.

I’m trying to put it to the back of my mind by it’s just niggling away and has been for the last week or so and I have turned away from him in bed and gone to sleep early because I’m upset and have these thoughts. Possibly paranoia. I don’t know.

Yeah I did shout down once when his phone was going off (I was in the bath) I said who’s texting you? He said no one. Clearly they were as his phone was pinging away but then he said it was his mate, a footy match was on at the time and they are both big football fans so it’s likely it was him. Is paranoia a common symptom of late pregnancy, I’ve been sat here this morning thinking about scenarios if he is being unfaithful and about how I’m going to cope running a house on statutory maternity pay. I’m just going to have to ask him to put an end to all of this aren’t I. I’m just torturing myself

Yes you do need to ask him, but he will mostly likely lie IF he is cheating. It takes a lot to get these men to be honest.
If I was you I would pick a good time to talk & ask to look at his phone. You need something solid to reassure yourself. You can blame your hormones.
I hope he reassures you and let’s you look at his phone to prove it.
Good luck x

Sorry but I'd be getting a look at that phone.

To be honest the ‘peach’ emoji is widely used by everyone when making reference to a ‘Peachy bum’. No one uses it to say
“Hey Jo from football, can you pick up some 🍑 on the way to the match.”

Also, if not you, who is he sending heart emojis to?
Lack of sex.
Using WhatsApp regularly.

He’s definitely communicating with someone and the only way you’ll find out who is by looking at his phone.

On the other hand, you are in a very stressful period of your pregnancy and the worry is no good for you.

If it were me, I’d secretly check his phone, but as you’re in late pregnancy, I’d ask him if you can borrow it to check randomly and explain why. See if he hands it over freely. If he doesn’t, it means he’s got stuff to delete first. If he starts banging on about trust, then you can’t trust him.

I’m sorry this is happening to you.
No paranoia is not a symptom of late pregnancy. It’s a symptom of a relationship that’s lacking something.

Yes, you need to check his phone, does he use finger print, do you know the code?

Hopefully it's just him having a conversation with a mate about how hot someone is and lad banter that he's just playing along with.
That's best outcome I can think of.

I'm also heavily pregnant myself and you do get times of feeling insecure as you're pregnant and having someone's child is a massive thing to do but I think even if someone wasn't in your situation what they saw and how he's acting would play on their mind.

You'll have a baby soon you won't enjoy it as much if this is in back of your head constantly. Don't ask just check his phone don't give him time to delete stuff.
I know people will be like you can't do that but you are having his kid and like people have said if he is he won't admit it he has so much to lose.

I think that's

Does he let you use his phone? Does he leave it lying around? I'd have thought, even if he was super careful and deleted as he went, that he would be a lot more careful with it if he was up to no good just incase something came through infront of you. Another one voting to see if he'd just hand it over for you to look at though as his reaction will speak volumes. The flip side if he's innocent though, will be him realising you don't trust him, so think carefully before doing this as a couple of emojis doesn't seem strong enough evidence on it's own to me, but coupled with a gut feeling and changes in phone use, it could be. I hope it's not what you're thinking x

What I would do and also speak to a friend so someone knows incase it all goes tits up and you need some where to stay or help sorting things out if you decide to break up or time apart ect.

How long have you been together?

This is what I mean, if I say something and ask to look it does say I don’t trust him, and it could be something as innocent as his mate has sent him a picture of a fry up or something and he’s replied with 😍 as he’s sat eating his home made sarnies at lunchtime iyswim.

I spoke to my sister about it this morning and she said he doesn’t have time to be physically having an affair as I know where he is all the time, either at work or at home. He works over time quite a lot and I collect him from work on these days, so I know it’s not a cover, to pay for Christmas and we are struggling financially at the minute. I know how it will come across if I ask, he’s working all the hours god sends and I’m asking him if he’s cheating?

Yeah he leaves his phone around I know the passcode, he will regularly ask me to put his phone on charge for him if he falls asleep so I could check it without his knowledge of I so desired. We’ve just moved into a beautiful new house and we had a conversation the other day about how happy we are and how this house move has been the best thing for us, baby on the way, Christmas round the corner and just how good we are feeling individually and together as a couple which makes it all the more difficult having these thoughts as if he wasn’t happy at home then he clearly feels like he can’t tell me.

The house is in my name so if he was being a swine it would be him leaving so at least it’s one thing I don’t have to worry about but we’ve built a life together and overcome a lot of sh*t and I think it’s made us stronger as couple but maybe it’s just one sided.

Don't put yourself down, if you feel something is wrong then maybe there is.
I've wasted far too much of my life making excuses for people and thinking I'm hormonal or mad or something.
You know your husband better than anyone and you need to know what he is up to.

I thought my husband was the love of my life and would never do anything to hurt me.
Looking back on the whole relationship I can clearly see I lied to myself for 20 years.
It could be nothing, but don't assume it isn't and don't doubt yourself by thinking it's pregnancy hormones.

The love eyes thing I can kinda see how it would be used, talking about food etc
But the peach one would really bug me
I just don't understand how he would ever use that with another bloke?
So maybe a friend sends him porn clips, I still just can't imagine a bloke doing 🍑
Surely he would just type
Great ass or something

I wouldn't ask him, he's not exactly ganna admit it is he
He will only become more careful and hide it better (IF anything is going on)

Just look at his phone! It's really the only way you'll ever know isn't it...

Hope there's an innocent explanation op

I’m gonna check it when I next have a chance.

It will most likely be tonight, he has children from previous relationships and let’s his child go to bed with the phone to watch YouTube and fall asleep so I’ll be able to go in late on and retrieve it.

I feel like it’s the end of the relationship even thinking about doing stuff like this 😥 I’d be hurt if he checked my phone because he thought I was up to something, I’d rather him tell me it’s how he is feeling and me then hand the phone over, but I’m scared it’s not going to be the same reaction

There are a lot of signs but he's not hiding his phone from you.
You know the password.
So get looking.
I had the same feeling with ExH and ExP and I was abolutely right on both occasions, although they both denied it for a long time.
It sends you insane.
See if you can snoop, although he probably covers his tracks well.
Can you install find my friends so you can see his location?
When snooping check his locations as well.
That's often a good giveaway.
As it looking at the battery usage.

Don't overthink it.

Yes, you could say that it's awful of you for thinking like this but when you asked who was texting he said no one... then changed it to his mate. So you could also say that it shouldn't be automatic for him to reply 'no-one' to you when you ask that question if he expects you to trust him?

It could be nothing, so I'd just put my own mind at rest and have a look. I think I'd be most alert for seeing whether those texts/messages were there at all now...

Just check. Hopefully it will put your mind completely at rest without making this (potentially) a bigger thing than it needs to be.

I'd look at his phone before I said anything for sure. I'd think it's pretty unlikely he's up to anything if he leaves his phone laying around, you know the password and he lets his child use it.
Only one way to find out .......

Op, it’s not the end of the relationship for even looking.

One of two things can happen:

1. You see that he’s been sending pics of peaches to his mates and they’re having a good old laugh, at which you’ll feel more secure, relieved and you’ll never even have to mention this happened.

1. You see something you wish you didn’t see, but you can challenge him and move forward, whichever way that is.

It might be the case you find all messages deleted. In that situation, I think you’d be better off forgetting about it for now and actually have a conversation about how you’ve been feeling with your partner.

Well on WhatsApp you can search the chat for specific words, I assume it’s the same with emojis so I won’t need to trawl through messages.

Now hearing that he let's his kid use it I doubt it now. But another idea is to look at his emojis as will show what he uses most even if he has deleted msgs. If you seeing egg plants not good.

No haven’t seen that one luckily. He’s not really one to sext anyway, during our whole relationship he’s always been a bit shy in the bedroom and gets a bit embarrassed when talking about sex and will always pull down his own performance ( he will say stuff like ‘I’m rubbish in bed aren’t i’ After the deed is done) but I never say or suggest he isn’t any good, not that he is bad!

I’ll update later on x