Would you still be friends with her or fade from view?

[Cobblersandhogwash]

Four friends A. B, C and D.

Regular dinners out together.

B and C are really good friends. Play dates etc

A and B also good friends. See each other and dcs very regularly.

D is good pals with everyone.

C suddenly ghosts B. No response to texts or calls. Avoids her at school gate.

B is really upset by this. Asks A and D. They shrug and don't know anything. B doesn't bother C anymore and respects her preference. Still very hurt though.

A starts having dinner with C and couple of other new friends. Going away on weekend trips. Puts it all on FB. But is quite secretive about it all to B.

B doesn't really bother asking about A's weekend / nights out in a general chitchat way anymore ad it seems to create such awkwardness for A even though A socialises with lots of different people as does B.

B starts to step back from friendship with A. No drama just disappearing slowly.

A clocks this and starts reaching out to B. B wants to continue fading but A is persistent and dcs are good friends.

B really wants to tell A to get lost. But doesn't want the drama.

B still doesn't know why C ghosted her and why that meant A apparently had to choose friendships.

C has since started being friendly again and B is polite but distant.

B has moved. C and A want to visit. B is astonished and amused but feels a bit used.

Perhaps a get lost is really in order here?

Anyone?

I got so lost with all the A, B, C thing

You made it way too complicated and onerous to figure out with the ABCD thing.

Try rewriting it using pseudonyms.

Sounds like B was putting in no effort, so C dropped away. A also felt a bit put out and decided to spend time with C who was more proactive with organising things.

It's all too complicated, I got lost. See who you want to see and let the others make their own minds up too.

You're B, I take it?

I dunno. Do you want to be friends with these people or not? If so, talk to them and tell them how things have been from your end and see what they say. If not...

Op and Cara fell out and op doesn’t know why. Alice is still friends with both but doesn’t mention to OP when she goes out with Cara. I don’t think A is being unreasonable. Not sure where D fits.

If you're b I d just steer clear.
Feckled.

You're better to put names rather than a b c d nonsense

It sounds like playground behaviour. Who are you in the situation? Without knowing that it’s hard to advise.

I bet c did ghost B for nothing

You all sound about 12.

I really can’t be arsed trying to follow these A, B, C, D things.

Four friends Anna. Bob, Carl and Dave.

Regular dinners out together.

Bob and Carl are really good friends. Play dates etc

Anna and Bob also good friends. See each other and dcs very regularly.

Dave is good pals with everyone.

Carl suddenly ghosts Bob. No response to texts or calls. Avoids her at school gate.

Bob is really upset by this. Asks Anna and Dave. They shrug and don't know anything. Bob doesn't bother Carl anymore and respects her preference. Still very hurt though.

Anna starts having dinner with Carl and couple of other new friends. Going away on weekend trips. Puts it all on FB. But is quite secretive about it all to Bob.

Bob doesn't really bother asking about Anna's weekend / nights out in a general chitchat way anymore ad it seems to create such awkwardness for Anna even though Anna socialises with lots of different people as does Bob.

Bob starts to step back from friendship with Anna. No drama just disappearing slowly.

Anna clocks this and starts reaching out to Bob. Bob wants to continue fading but Anna is persistent and dcs are good friends.

Bob really wants to tell Anna to get lost. But doesn't want the drama.

Bob still doesn't know why Carl ghosted her and why that meant Anna apparently had to choose friendships.

Carl has since started being friendly again and Bob is polite but distant.

Bob has moved. Carl and Anna want to visit. Bob is astonished and amused but feels a bit used.

Perhaps a get lost is really in order here?

So basically a group of 4 friends. Carl ghosts Bob. Anna seems to be taking Carls side and its awkward for Bob to be around her as shes spending so much time with Carl and therefore it affects conversation. So Bob cuts his losses and starts to move away. Anna then suddenly wants to be best mates again with Bob. Carl then also starts wanting to be Bob's mate again (after ghosting him). After all the trouble caused by the fallout and the aftermath Carl and Anna now want to come and visit Bobs new house.

Is that right?

Yes you tell them to fuck right off.

Eh? B no longer lives there. So she just cuts the rest of them loose and lets them drift. Sounds very silly and adolescent. B out to get some friends who are actually adults.

This reminds me of one of my DS algebra problems, is the answer 43?

I think they just want to have a good nosey at your new home to see if your friendship is going to benefit them in some way, bigger house for get togethers, etc or to gossip about it. Just keep putting them off. Be too busy decorating, going out with new friends 😉 etc. Drift for the sake of your children or tell them to fuck off.

And btw dancingbadger, that’s out of order.

It’s 57.

Gosh i'd love to comment but somewhere paint is drying so gotta run.

I think Bob needs to find new friends, or at least keep these ones at arms length for a while until the dust has settled. Bob may be friendly again with this crowd but deep down will always know they're twats.

Dave's probably OK though.

Great advice from MrGsFancyNewVagina. I would follow it.

I agree with @MrGsFancyNewVagina

That’s blatantly why they want to visit. Bob should say No and make some new friends now he lives elsewhere. It all sounds a bit weird and I wouldn’t have the energy for weird if I was Bob.

But yes Dave’s alright I reckon.

What’s D got to do with it?