Would you still be friends with her or fade from view?

[Cobblersandhogwash]

Four friends A. B, C and D.

Regular dinners out together.

B and C are really good friends. Play dates etc

A and B also good friends. See each other and dcs very regularly.

D is good pals with everyone.

C suddenly ghosts B. No response to texts or calls. Avoids her at school gate.

B is really upset by this. Asks A and D. They shrug and don't know anything. B doesn't bother C anymore and respects her preference. Still very hurt though.

A starts having dinner with C and couple of other new friends. Going away on weekend trips. Puts it all on FB. But is quite secretive about it all to B.

B doesn't really bother asking about A's weekend / nights out in a general chitchat way anymore ad it seems to create such awkwardness for A even though A socialises with lots of different people as does B.

B starts to step back from friendship with A. No drama just disappearing slowly.

A clocks this and starts reaching out to B. B wants to continue fading but A is persistent and dcs are good friends.

B really wants to tell A to get lost. But doesn't want the drama.

B still doesn't know why C ghosted her and why that meant A apparently had to choose friendships.

C has since started being friendly again and B is polite but distant.

B has moved. C and A want to visit. B is astonished and amused but feels a bit used.

Perhaps a get lost is really in order here?

That was so confusing. No idea what you are talking about and which letter you are in real life.

Guess you’re B / Bob. In your position I’d be doing as NewVag has advised. Unless you’re in bloody awesome new digs then I’d totally have them over for an ogle. Find new friends... second guessing and chinese whispers are so draining. D is ok. I’d keep D.

So B is disturbed by C ghosting her, but is quite happy to ghost A.

That seems a tad hypocritical.

Also I don't see why B is punishing A. Is A supposed to stop being friends with C, even if C does have a problem with A?

It really is playground stuff.

How is A choosing friendships? Why can’t A be friends with both B and C? Surely C ghosting B has nothing to do with A?

Yawn

If I was B, I’d say that I was busy whenever A&C suggested a visit. They don’t sound very nice at all.

Look. I had two good friends. My best friend and another. The other one randomly fell out with me (totally unreasonably of course!). My best friend had nothing to do with it and really didn't want any details or to get involved (he's a bloke - 'nuff said).

Other friend has had nothing to do with me since the random fall out, best friend is still as good friends with her as ever. Yes, it weirds me out a bit, but it's none of my business. I don't get to dictate who he can be friends with. And he's still my bestie.

Easy to follow - makes total sense - don't know why everyone is making such a fuss.

If it was me (and I was B) I'd let bygones be bygones and let A and C come and stay/ visit.
Friendships go through weird stages and people get upset about silly things. I'd seriously let it go and give these two old friends one more chance.

Why don't you stick with Dave? He seems nice. Why isn't Dave coming to visit you too if he's so friendly to everyone. Surely Dave knows what's going on and can tell it to you straight?

Just hang out with Dave.

Ask Carl what the problem was.

Stop being mean to Alice because you think she should side with you over Carl.

I agree with onemorecup, friendships do go through stages and I don't think a friendship cooling somewhat is that bad or the same as ghosting. As you/B have moved, sounds like you won't be seeing as much as of them anyway, so I'd let the past go and catch up with them occasionally if they want to visit.

I think maybe C was going through some shit. If she's trying to be friendly again now why not just ask her?

Why are you (presumably B) forcing A to choose between you and C? She can be friends with you both.

I don't know why D is involved but surely if A & C are now going out without you then D should be just as upset as you are, but presumably she isn't?

Be friends with A and D. Find out what C's issue is.

If B has moved away rather than just a few miles down the road she should use this as an opportunity to get away from this messy dynamic.

If B is still local then I agree with pp - just be busy all the time.

Who needs that sort of toxic playground malarkey in their lives? No thanks.

B is the right answer

So are we going to find out which one you are OP?

Is Carl actually Caroline? If so, how you’ve been Op?

Anyone else feel sorry for D? Poor D is just being ignored and probably suffering all the fallout

@OhLookHeKickedTheBall D is probably just being an adult about the situation and accepting that her friends are allowed other friends

You are B.

Just tell them to fuck off.

HTH

D is the master-puppeteer pulling all the strings. Dump D and stick with A and C.

Op is probably D actually. That's why they have been mentioned.

B should just tell a and c to fuck off. They didn't want their friendship then and now do to be nosy. If b now lives a long way away from you all, I guess it's for free holidays too.

Don't get how people didn't follow it either to be honest.

I guess we’ll never know...