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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do these messages seem weird ?

31 replies

Tyra435 · 30/10/2019 19:10

I'm probably being fussy as hell, been through a lot of crap with guys and I think nobody interests me at the moment as i'm just finding little things.

One guy I had been talking to for a day then it fizzled out. He messaged me 'hey you' and nothing else.

A second guy ive been speaking to him for 3 days, and he asked me out for a drink, we are yet to meet. Said I was hoping to go to Spain soon and he put 'i'd love to go to Spain, especially with you 😉"

Never met either of them and been speaking for a matter of 2 days.

Feel free to tell me I am being massively fussy and picky, just not feeling it with anyone yet.

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 30/10/2019 19:31

Maybe a little fussy..what's wrong with 'Hey you?'..perhaps second guy was a little over enthusiastic but I'd have taken with a pinch of salt..unless there's more?

Original poster
Tyra435 · 30/10/2019 19:34

I don't know, it's not a saying I like but again i'm just being very fussy.
There hasn't been anything else, except he still has all his pictures on social media with his ex who he was with for years by the looks of it.

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 30/10/2019 19:38

It could just be a picture he's not deleted, or they still get on so no need to remove. I wouldn't read into that. Just take it slow, relax, don't overthink. What will be will be.

Original poster
Tyra435 · 30/10/2019 19:40

Yeah, I mean there are tons of pictures but yeah, maybe it's that.
I think the real issue is that I am not at all over the guy who hurt me and I shouldn't be trying to date and wasting people's time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tyra435 · 30/10/2019 19:45

Me "i'm going to my dance lesson tonight'
Him 'oh nice, do you dance then ?'

.....

I know i'm being nasty right now. This is my problem, just nobody interests me

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 30/10/2019 19:50

Perhaps you're not ready. In which case take it for what it is a bit of a laugh. Be honest when someone says something dull like that ' obviously dance yeah..' winky face. If he doesn't rise to your joke..you'll know. Give them a chance. One may surprise you. Failing that, a shitload of chocolate, some wine, and a good film..hugs

Interestedwoman · 30/10/2019 20:00

There are a lot of thickos on those dating sites. If it's on POF for instance, you can search by education level to wean some of them out, though you still get some who have ticked the box that they have a degree, when on messaging them for a short time, it's really obvious that they can't have. Maybe you can do that on other sites, too.

If they put 'hey you' or do whatever that annoys you, just don't bother with them. Yes, I'd be more impressed if someone bothered to write a sentence, too :) Same goes for overly familiar and naff Spain guy...next!

It's fairly easy to gauge whether someone's capable of some conversation, at least. Get to find rolling your eyes at thickos and weaning them out amusing, and you won't mind so much.

You could also try going along to stuff such as meetups.com and trying to meet someone that way. Best wishes xxx

Original poster
Tyra435 · 30/10/2019 21:05

I've just deleted the lot of them. Still not over someone who was amazing until he did something pretty bad and i'm holding onto the 'what could have been' can't be bothered going through the motions right now. Thanks :)

OP posts:
crappyday2018 · 30/10/2019 21:40

No you are not!! I am exactly the same. The slightest thing and it puts me off. If a guy calls me 'babe' or 'hun' its game over.

Original poster
Tyra435 · 30/10/2019 21:59

I'm glad i'm not the only one 😂 it's annoying when I keep comparing them to the other guy, but it will pass

OP posts:
Mimithemouse · 30/10/2019 22:17

At least he didn't say 'how's you', I really hate that.

Original poster
Tyra435 · 30/10/2019 22:19

Yeah 😂 'hey there'

OP posts:
Interestedwoman · 30/10/2019 22:21

or just:-

hi

Grin
Original poster
Tyra435 · 31/10/2019 09:04

After I didn't reply, 'hey you' guy has just randomly sent me 'hey trouble'.. Urgh.. Youve never even met me and i'm not 7 years old

OP posts:
Original poster
Tyra435 · 31/10/2019 17:52

I told him it was a bit odd and now he's panicked and asked 'are we ok ?'.
WE ?! We have never met and know nothing about each other, and have at best exchanged a couple of short messages.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 31/10/2019 17:56

Those messages are so lame. I definitely wouldn't be keen to meet those blokes.

Windmillwhirl · 31/10/2019 18:03

hi

Bleugh (minus points for the lower case)

Original poster
Tyra435 · 31/10/2019 18:16

😂😂

OP posts:
Candle1000 · 31/10/2019 18:19

Fussy is good !

Examssuck · 31/10/2019 18:21

I can’t stand people who send a ‘hey’ ‘hi’ etc message then expect you to do all the legwork for the conversation.

Original poster
Tyra435 · 31/10/2019 18:22

I'm starting to believe so more and more 😂 i don't really know what to say to the 'are we ok' maybe just reply that im not interested

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Original poster
Tyra435 · 31/10/2019 18:22

@Examssuck totally agree ! He's done that twice to start new conversations and don't really see the point

OP posts:
Examssuck · 31/10/2019 18:38

If his name is Michael I know him Grin

crappyday2018 · 31/10/2019 19:39

I had a message from a clearly married man this morning. He had the cheek to put "if you're not interested please don't message back and waste my time". I decided to call him out on the fact he was obviously married (no photo, wants discretion etc ) and he got really nasty!
I despair sometimes.

Original poster
Tyra435 · 31/10/2019 20:11

Crappyday that's awful !! So many idiots online :/

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