How to approach DH about this?

[avosalad]

Both DH and I work weekdays. He leaves at 8am and returns between 7pm-9pm. He works as a contractor for a firm who does everything from bathroom fittings to rendering so it’s a physically taxing job and I understand he is tired when he gets home. I leave the house just after him and drop DD at nursery so he sees her for 10 mins in the morning whilst eating breakfast. I pick DD up after work and return home around 5:30pm. I feed DD, bathe her, put her to bed and clean the house. When DH tells me he’s heading home I start on dinner for us. Last night was the worst as we needed some ingredients from the shop so he took a few detours. I made a big lasagne so we can reheat it over the next few days. By the time we sat down to eat it was 11pm which is just ridiculous!

To make matters worse, as we were eating DH mentioned that he would be helping his Dad install a new bath at his house, his grandad some new taps and some garden work for family friends at the weekend. All unpaid obviously! He gets a shit wage already for the amount of work he does. For example, he got paid just £200 for last week when he worked 84 hours as he had to work for the full weekend too. I get £360 for 35/40hrs. It’s starting to take the proverbial if I’m honest. My main gripe is that he didn’t think the check if it was okay with me that he would be out all weekend again or even consider the fact he’s not really spent any time with DD in months and it’s upsetting her. I’m also 21 weeks pg and just want to spend time with my husband who I love! He didn’t come to the 20 week scan as there was a job that could only be completed with more than one person and the client was complaining. How do I go about speaking to him about it? I’m a bit hormonal so don’t want to get upset or cause an argument. I just wanted to cry when he said he would be busy at the weekend, we haven’t spent any time together apart from meals in months

Surely nobody who has a legal right to work in the UK is stupid enough to work for less than an apprentice gets?

I was doing payroll twenty years ago and the boys were getting more than eighty a day after tax.

He needs his CSCS, he needs to pass the Health and Safety test (which is done at test centres across the UK by Pearson Vue, the people who administer driving theory tests), he needs proper boots (sounds like the sort of job where he turns up in trainers) and he needs to get work that's legal.

He can get help from the Jobcentre 'Hello, I'm thinking of getting work as a builder' or a local college, as he'll need to enrol for an NVQ to get his CSCS.

I am assuming that there isn't a potential immigration issue at play here? In any case, the HSE tests can be taken with an audio track in several different languages if it's requested at the time of booking - I think it's about £21to book direct. here. Once he's got that and enrolled on a training course, he can apply for his card [[https://www.cscs.uk.com/card-finder/
here]] at a cost of £36.

This should help

Other information from the CITB is here - [[https://www.cscs.uk.com/applying-for-cards/qualifications/funding-for-training/
funding]]

I can see that the Jobcentre is likely to be able to assist with funding in addition to advice if he's been a jobseeker for 3 months. Quite frankly, you would probably have a higher income overall if he were to go onto the dole/UC for 12 weeks to be able to get that funding.

Winter is always low season for labouring, etc - why not take advantage of it so he could be at the point of getting decently paid work as the weather and trade picks up?

Nobody is stupid enough to work for £2 an hour when the minimum wage is four times that.

He's being paid more but telling you he gets less so he can get away with only putting £200 into your communal pot. I can't believe you're falling for it, OP.

£40 a day?! He'd be better off working in a supermarket!