I had to cancel a date because my toddler has croup. Does he sound like an arse?

[UsuallyQuiteUnreasonable]

I was invited on a date for this evening but I had to cancel because my child has developed croup, for obvious reasons I wasn't prepared to leave him and go on my jollies whilst he needs to be with his primary caregiver. Croup aside, he also has additional needs.

I sent a WhatsApp first thing this morning apologising for having to cancel but explained why.

He read my message and blanked me.

I'm not sure what I feel like an appropriate response would have been, but a polite acknowledgment nevertheless and perhaps a "hope he gets well soon" or a suggestion to rearrange. You know, common decency.

The bloke is somebody I was seeing in the past, so we already know one another.

The more I've reflected on his personality the more I remember that he's actually a bit of an arse in general, so I don't plan on seeing him again..

But is it just me who thinks that's quite rude and insensitive?

@Loveablers what a weird post.

This isn't online dating. They know each other already.

Even if it was online dating... the polite thing to do when someone regretfully has to cancel for a good reason is to acknowledge the message, not ignore it. And the polite (or rather the only decent) thing to do when someone tells you their child is ill is to respond with something like, "Sorry to hear that. Hope he's better soon."

What the OP is entitled to expect here is basic humanity and normal politeness. And he's totally failed at both of these.

Nobody is expecting him to "do all the running" - I don't know where you got that from. Have you actually read the OP? Also, replying to a message is not "initiating contact." You might want to look up what "initiating contact" means.

My lowest bar for decency is asking after sick kids. I had two dreadful line managers recently, both terrible in their way. But one I still had time for because if DD was sick her first response was, "poor thing, hope she feels better". The other would just respond with a list of jobs to do from home. And she was horrible to her kids as well because she'd call them from work. Cold and mean.

Don't block, just move on happily.

Oh and I hope DS feels better

Thanks all

Yes he's definitely not a random from online dating, we already know one another which is why I was expecting acknowledgement at the very least.

I wouldn't care for the lack of response if he were a stranger but he's not.

I wouldn’t waste any more time thinking about him, any good bloke would have responded with “oh, so sorry, hope he feels better soon”, he hasn’t answered because he only cares about himself. No great loss, shows what type of person he is (not one you want to date). I would block him and move on.

Even from a stranger it would be rude, stone cold and disrespectful.

The only way I would ever not respond would be if I thought the person was totally making it up (child included)! He knows you have a child and he knows you a little bit as a person.

He's being petulant and very rude.

Bullet dodged, you know.

Absolute tit and the reason why as a parent, I’d never date anyone who doesn’t get that children will always come first

I'm partly surprised at his cold reception because although he doesn't have children of his own yet he professes to really like them and claims to be very close to the ones in his life, sisters DC and friends DC and wants some of his own.

I mean I didn't expect him to offer to bring supplies like a PP's kind bloke did, but like others have said - anybody with common decency would respond and at least feign concern even if he was disappointed or whatever which would be understandable.

If he does get back in touch I won't bother entertaining it. Like the saying goes, when somebody shows you who they are then believe them.

You made totally the right decision. Your little boy needs his mother - croup is nasty .
This “man “ has some growing up to do .
You did the right thing to block him . Just ignoring would be as passive aggressive as he is .

I'm partly surprised at his cold reception because although he doesn't have children of his own yet he professes to really like them and claims to be very close to the ones in his life, sisters DC and friends DC and wants some of his own.

Talks a good game then.

'I sent a WhatsApp first thing this morning apologising for having to cancel but explained why.'

So, did you text on the evenig and say you couldn't make it? I assume you didn't just not turn up?

Even if you didn't turn up without saying anything, I suppose your msg in the morning should've been enough for him.

He sounds like a dickhead.

@Interestedwoman the post was posted yesterday. The date was for the yesterday evening she text yesterday morning...plenty of time before date.

It's a bit insensitive but he's prob just realised the complications that come with dating a parent and is having second thoughts. Sorry

This guy is clearly too immature to date anyone with a child
My kids get croup a lot and it’s so distressing
Of course why would he ever know that
However, has he bothered to try to find out???
If not then this is the sign to tell you to steer clear of him forever after

Without knowing exactly what was happening for him it's hard to judge this situation. I would remain polite but definitely challenge him.

Peculiar update!

He's blocked me

I didn't reach out again or resort to blocking him as he hadn't bothered me enough to warrant it. I forgot all about it and got on with my week.

I was messaging a relative on WhatsApp and noticed his profile picture had disappeared, upon closer inspection it became clear he has blocked me. The twit.

God only knows why, I had no intentions of contacting him again. What a peculiar thing to do a week later.

(DS much better now too)

Sounds like a lucky escape. Even if he thought you were lying, I used to have a platonic friend who jumped to assuming that I was lying any time I had to cancel/ postpone a meet-up. After ten years of friendship with her, I was absolutely bloody drained from dealing with her paranoia, justifying myself all the time and providing evidence (one time, I even had to send her a photo to prove I was snowed in). It would have been 10 x worse with a romantic partner.

Glad your DS is ok!

This is why you block them first 😐

Nah Pumpkin. That shows you care and are thinking about it.

Presumably you were supposed to grovel, explain, reiterate, justify and run after him - having dared to cancel the date due to your suck child.

Now that you haven't, the petulant egotistical child is performing a SM 'fuck you'.

So he's so keen on kids and would like children but can't even say he hopes yours gets better soon and enquire after him.

I think you dodged a bullet.

*sick child!

I bet her partners get a continual grilling ScrewThe, she sounds like hard work! I couldn't be doing with that

Yes TarMc, I think that's exactly what he expected me to do. It's quite amusing that he was likely sat there thinking to himself "If she doesn't apologise again by X day I'm going to block her, that'll show her"

Bloody weirdo, def dodged a bullet.

Haha, what a petulant little knob!

Yes, shows he has been brooding over it and waiting for you to grovel for having the NERVE to have a sick child. Then got angry when you didn't. Lovely.

Really glad to hear that your DS is better.