What things does you DP/DH do to show you how much they love/respect you?

[BlobbyTheLump]

My DP has been an absolutely angel today.

I've been feeling really really ill (period after 6 months - thanks mini pill!) and awful cold.

He's just popped into my house, with a bagful of medicines, nice tea, sweets, chicken soup from my favourite restaurant, magazines, bubble bath and shower gel, new PJS and socks plus sanitary items.
He then got DD (not his) ready and has now taken her out for tea and to go and see him mum for a bit.

He's my friend of 10+ years so we know each other in incredibly well (and know the good&bad ins and outs of each other) and I love him to pieces.
But he really has outdone himself just now.

Have you got anything to add? I always see such negativity on here about partners and relationships (I've been in a hideously abusive relationship) and it's so upsetting to know there are still so many people out there that think they're deserving of these wankers.

Makes me a proper coffee every morning.
He bought me flights so I could visit my sister for a week while he juggled work and kids.
In fact, he often just gets on with it while I traipse around with friends for days out and weekends away.

We were watching The Accident on catch up last night. I was totally unprepared for the DV scene and it triggered memories of similar experiences with my ex.
DH switched the tv off and just held me while I cried. He didn't say anything. He made me feel safe.

My DH is the only man who has ever listened to me.
So if we argue (not often) he will walk away & think about what was said.
And on my birthday he always finds a personal thoughtful gift because he's listened to my rambling about my hobby, or my latest fad.

He also makes me feel safe. I can't explain why, he's a lover not a fighter, but I know he would protect me & our children if he needed to.

Lovely thread OP. Yes, it's makes me sad too when I read what some people have come to accept.

My husband puts me first, always, and always lets me know how much he loves and appreciates me. Not just with words, but with actions.

My DP took on both my DC’s as if they were his own in a heartbeat. I love watching them all together, the way they are is beautiful.

He will pick them up from school, take them to after school activities, and make tea even though we don’t live together and he lives 20 miles away from us and their schools.

Just to add we were friends for years before we were together.

My dh will make me cups of tea even though he hates it himself and doesn't even like making it. He tells me he loves me multiple times a day. He buys me my favourite chocolate whenever he nips to the shops. If he has a good week at work he will leave me some money to treat myself. On cold nights he will warm my side of the bed up before I get in and let me put my cold feet on him. On his days off he will still get up with me in the morning. If there's something in particular that I fancy for tea he will drive miles out of his way to get it for me. He's lovely 😊

My husband does the ironing and goes down on me twice nightly.

A few years ago I would have felt extremely low reading a thread like this, as DH was treating me so badly I considered leaving him. Now it’s like being married to a different man. He’s very affectionate physically, always giving me hugs from behind etc. When I need to talk he’ll say “ Pull up a husband”. He’s great when I’m ill. He makes me laugh every day, sometimes to the point of pain. I get a cuppa in bed most mornings. We have our moments & he infuriates me sometimes but I know he has my back. Oh & he’s a much better Dad now too ( just have to convince DD of that!)

My DH holds my hand in bed at night, he even does it when he's asleep and he de-ices my car in the mornings. We've only been married a month and hope it stays like this!

We still hold hands in bed after 20 years married (awake or asleep), love it. Pretty much go to sleep every night cuddling too. No need for it to stop

He is unstintingly generous with lifts to work and wherever I need to be, I don’t drive. He has been so good to my late father and my Mum, if they had been his own parents he could not have been kinder.
He buys me pink smarties and shares his haribo. He said yes straight away when his sister urgently needed us to take a rescue cat. She is now a fine big cat and he is her footman. I’m really rather fond of him.

He checks my water bottle by the bed and makes sure I have water there every evening. He makes my coffee for my car journey every morning.

Every night before he goes to sleep he tells me he loves me and does the same every morning when he wakes up.

We have been together for 30 years.

It’s the little things like buying me a chocolate bar when he goes to the shop or similar that lets me know he’s thinking of me.
Also when he goes out of his way to do things that I don’t like doing even when it’s an unreasonable dislike such as taking my car to be washed which I’m perfectly capable of doing but have an irrational dislike of.

@limitedperiodonly lol

My dp fixes things around the house (we don't live together), will bring ingredients over to cook for me, send me flowers if I'm ill or fed up, buy me little presents like books I want to read, will make me coffee, or take the kids out for a bike ride (they're not his ) or a dog walk. He tries to help out when I'm overwhelmed with life and work and my exH is being a dick. He's really lovely.

I know it doesn't necessarily mean much - I had a boyfriend that bought me lots of gifts, sent flowers, told me how much he loved me, and send me touching messages - he was also a compulsive liar and a cheat - so more importantly (to me) I know that my current DP is honest . I can trust him.

I..... do not have a DP like any of these DPs

He's very good with choosing presents for me, although it took a bit of training about what I like. He also goes along with my silly desire to hear him wrapping my goodies, while I relax with a sleep mask over my eyes so I can't see what I'm going to get.

Fuck all because I don't think a slap counts lol that's why I left him 🙋🏼‍♀️

@MerryDeath Me neither! My dh...

Would leave anything on the bed when he got into it, eg laundry I've been sorting, so when I come to bed I have to clear my side before I can get in. I've usually abandoned the laundry there because I've been looking after the kids or making dinner. Something about seeing him all tucked up and comfy and my side of the bed strewn with clothes that could have been moved makes me feel inordinately sad. If I went to bed first, I would clear it, and often make a path in his floordrobe so he can get in and out of bed without falling over. I feel reduced to staff, somehow.

Anyway. Yes. As you were.

He’ll do little things to show he’s been thinking of me while out and about like coming back with a book on something he knows is a current interest of mine because he’s listened or a foodstuff that he thinks I might like. Every morning he’ll bring up fresh coffee and make sure the house is warm for when I get up. He’ll listen to me vent without thinking he has to fix things and knows whether a huge hug or a bit of space is what’s needed. This week when we’ve both had the cold virus he shopped and made lovely hearty dinners for the family. I always know, without a second thought, that he has my back and is in my corner. His eyes go all crinkley with pleasure when he’s done something to make me laugh or make me happy.

Ooh, I've just thought of another one! My ex was talking about some football scandal (he followed football, I don't) and was rambling about some pundit being suspended for sexist remarks off camera. Then he said "I don't know - what do you think?" and it was so genuine and interested. He really cared what I thought, my opinion was valuable to him. It always stayed with me - he really respected me.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with DC2 and my DH rubs my aching restless legs almost every night with oil, plus he's pretty much doing everything for DC1 as I'm not very mobile at the moment. He does all the laundry and cleaning and groceries too.

He's reliable. That doesn't sound like a lot but he's where he says he will be, even he says he will be there, if not earlier. I'm never left standing waiting for him, wondering whether he's going to show. I'd he's delayed, he lets me know. That makes me feel as though I'm important to him. I am, we've been married 20 years!

But also he encourages me to spend time and money doing things just for me, that don't benefit him or DD.

And he'll say when he's wrong! One of us has to be able to do that, and it's not me . He's a keeper, for sure.

have you read about love languages? love languages It's really interesting.. We all have different ways that we feel loved. So some people may feel most loved by receiving a gift for example.

Me and my dp did this together once - so we know what our love languages are! (So in effect I trained him....)

Mine is words of affirmation I think, followed by time together. His is touch (that would be sex ).

(Anyway, it might make you feel loved, but I suppose it doesn't mean you are loved. My ex very good at this stuff, but was an absolute violent bastard who is incapable of staying faithful to anyone - then again he's a sociopath).

What a wonderful thread and thank you for sharing.
I am within days of moving out of an awful awful emotionally abusive marriage right now, and I can’t imagine my STBXH doing barely anything of these little things which make you all so happy. It’s encouraging to think maybe, just maybe in a very long time to come, I might be fortunate to meet a similarly kind partner.

@Bunnylady53 - what caused the change?

Well he pays all the bills for starters. He's gentle and affectionate with me and with our dc. The other day when we decided to have a bath together (rare) he had strung some fairy lights around because 'I know how much you love fairy lights.' He's ace.