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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Buying shoes in advance for DP?

33 replies

Momniscient · 29/10/2019 12:22

Not sure if this is the right place to post. But here goes.

My partner has just bought a pair of shoes for work, which she completely loves. They're a little unusual so once gone, I'm fairly sure will be gone. She has pretty intense bunions, so shoes tend to break in the fabric earlier than perhaps they should. These ones are suede, however.

I'm considering buying a second pair of the shoes and hiding them so that when these break through (a year? Two?), she doesn't have to spend months trying to find equivalent shoes that she enjoys as much.

Is that mad? The only reason I wouldn't mention it to her (unless she asked about the random shoe box in my cupboard, obviously) would be because she would see it as unnecessary. Probably. And because I quite like surprising her.

My question is: if your partner/wife/husband did this, would you find it weird? Charming?!

Anyone with shoe-breaking bunions have any experience with suede shoe longevity??

OP posts:
Idontwanttotalk · 29/10/2019 12:45

I would be quite pleased as I'm always annoyed when a favourite pair of shoes or item of clothing gives up the ghost and often wish I'd bought two. I don't think it's weird at all. (PS Hate the word charming unless it's used to describe a quaint place. When it has anything to do with men's behaviour I view the word charming in a negative light as most abusive men are charming. Be pleased I don't find it charming Grin).

Has your partner thought about having surgery for her bunions? She either needs that or needs better fitting shoes. i.e. wide-fitting to accommodate the bunions. The reason her shoes break is because they are too narrow. I would imagine suede or leather will be better than man-made though as they tend to give and stretch a bit.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/10/2019 12:46

How long have you been together?

Idontwanttotalk · 29/10/2019 12:47

Sorry, I just realised I assumed you are a man and you may not be. Apologies if you aren't.

sableandI · 29/10/2019 12:56

That's a fab idea. Very thoughtful. Go for it

BumbleBeee69 · 29/10/2019 13:09

I bulk buy OP, it's a curse to my DH but if I find that suitable product, I bulk buy it. Grin

Momniscient · 29/10/2019 14:54

@Idontwanttotalk I'm female here, but no worries! Not charming then! Yes re: surgery, and we're saving up for it! Seems quite expensive.

@SleepingStandingUp three years ish, getting married next year if that changes anything.

Thanks @BumbleBeee69 and @sableandI

I'm haunted by a pair of shoes I didn't buy for myself ten years ago. I thought they were typical. Never seen them since. Gutted. So I tend to wonder if I get overly invested with other people's shoe hunts!

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 29/10/2019 14:59

My friend has troublesome feet and buys shoes that fit in bulk and stores them for later. If I ever saw the right shoes for him, I'd phone and see if he wanted me to buy them for him.

Toddlerteaplease · 29/10/2019 15:01

I'd be really chuffed if you did that for me. Because it's thoughtful.

Ladylimpet · 29/10/2019 15:01

Do it. If my partner did that, I'd be well made up. Very thoughtful.

yellowallpaper · 29/10/2019 15:19

As you're a woman you have a good idea of whether these will still be in fashion in a year or so, and of your dps taste in shoes, I would definitely get them. If you had been a man maybe not, as men (in my experience) wouldn't have a clue about women's fashion.

AnotherEmma · 29/10/2019 15:31

Lovely thoughtful idea. (Sorry but I thought you were probably a woman to have thought of it Grin)

I suggest you buy the second pair but check how long you have to return them - and see if your partner is still happy with her new shoes after wearing them for a couple of weeks.

Don't know how "niche" the shoes are but could it be worth checking if places like ASOS or Zalando sell them? Both allow ages for returns.

ch3rrycola · 29/10/2019 15:33

I'd love it

SleepingStandingUp · 29/10/2019 15:51

Up three years ish, getting married next year if that changes anything
Only in that if you'd said 3 weeks it's a tad "I loved you before I met you and will forever* creepy. 3 years is fine, it's a really lovely idea

EllaEllaE · 29/10/2019 16:24

awh, I think that's lovely. Very thoughtful idea. Make sure you hide them well!

Knightinslightlytarnished · 29/10/2019 16:43

That's lovely. It's really thoughtful and would be a nice surprise . The challenge would be hiding it well enough!!

ChelseaCat · 29/10/2019 16:48

I think it’s a lovely plan 😊 she’s very lucky to have such a thoughtful OH

muddledmidget · 29/10/2019 16:51

If they're comfy then definitely! I'm still regretting only buying 4 pairs of clarks shoes (halo style) as they were so comfy for work but because of 10hr shifts on my feet would only last 6 months. Still look every do often in case they've brought them back...

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 29/10/2019 16:53

I think that's a really sweet gesture.

I hope she appreciates it! You sound lovely.

Blueuggboots · 29/10/2019 17:00

Sorry if I'm missing the point, but has she seen her GP about her bunions? I had mine done on the NHS although it was about 15 years ago...

adaline · 29/10/2019 18:43

Do it! That's really sweet :)

Sushiroller · 29/10/2019 18:47

Super sweet.... as someone with "difficult feet" I would love this....

ffswhatnext · 29/10/2019 18:50

Do it. I've done it myself in the past and would do it again. Gives me time to get a suitable replacement. I would love you even more.

Momniscient · 29/10/2019 20:41

Ooh, lots of replies. Thank you!

@Blueuggboots yes, and she's not eligible for surgery yet because they don't cause her "significant" pain.

No idea where I'd hide them........ something to figure out!

OP posts:
Blueuggboots · 29/10/2019 21:06

@Momniscient......the significant word there is yet.....I'm sure, very soon they could become more painful!?
I have to say mine was caused by over probation and it's gone back to how it was before surgery....

chipsandgin · 29/10/2019 21:08

Lovely idea & from someone with a DH who wouldn’t be think of something like that in a million years I’d say she is a lucky woman!

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