Please can someone talk to me

[Henriettahufflepuff]

I have name changed and am in my car with tears pouring down my face.

I want to know if this is normal as I have lost all perspective. Dp rarely listens to me. I have to repeat myself numerous times for the smallest of things. So today we argued because every week I go food shopping straight after work, I always ask what he wants and cook him nice meals but whenever he goes to the shops he gets me nothing. I have explained so many times how this makes me feel yet he does it all the time. He used to do his own washing and never mine, his own washing up and not mine until I finally got through to him.

Today he came in with shopping for his mum and him and not me. I asked why he had done it again and all he could say was your a fruit cake, I'm busy, go away. He never responds to me ever and I get so frustrated I become really distressed. I feel like nothing. And then he gets his phone out to film me to show me what a nutter I am. But I just want to be treated like an equal. This is only a few examples of what he does but my feelings are always disregardrd. I feel like I am losing my mind.

Also, don't regret not moving when you did. You are only ready to leave a relationship when you are ready. And when you are ready, you will find a way.

So now I am looking at houses where I will probably have to scrimp n save and not have my car etc

Christ don't do that!!! Do not buy a house with this man.

No, it's not normal and it's a horrible way of treating someone. But you really do need to leave him. You almost did before but he talked you around.

Imagine yourself in your nice little house, all comfy and cosy and HAPPY.

You CAN do this. And you deserve it.

Believe me, you can do it and you will be so much happier away from this nasty selfish man

Thank you all for your kind words and I am so sorry for what you are going through @kanneb123. You sound lovely and deserve so much more.

There is one more thing that I haven't told anyone. He gave me herpes when we first met. To be fair to him I strongly think he is a carrier as he has never ever had any symptoms in the years we have been together. But even back then I didn't raise it with him as he would not have believed it came from him with no symptoms. I was in an 18 month relationship prior to him and then a 12 year relationship before him and the symptoms showed within the first 2 months of dating. Another man is far far in the future for me. I need to get myself stronger emotionally before I even get to that stage so I don't make the same mistake again. But realistically this is going to make everything so much harder down the line. He really has done a number on me and mainly I have let him

would there be any possibility your partner could be on the autistic spectrum?

@orangetriangle Yes - I absolutely do. I have even raised this with him before. He is very literal, will fixate on minor details on arguments without seeing the bigger picture, doesn't do empathy is too honest too

I'm autistic and I'm not a cunt. He's not a nice man. Leave him.

I was going to say that whether he’s autistic or not, doesn’t make him a selfish, cold, evil, prick of a man. You need to go. I bet he knows about the herpes. BTW, you can take antivirals as well.

I am sorry if I have offended anyone with autism. I have suspected he is for a while but this is not the reason for his dismissive "I am more important than you" attitude at all I am sure. It's a deeply unpleasant character flaw in him

Re the herpes I haven't had an outbreak in a couple of years and then not for about 3 years before that but I do take anti virals when I need to. I just think it will put some people off.