huge crush on my coworker

[aubz88]

I'm 31 and married with 2 kids. I work at a small company and I went on holiday with my colleagues last week to Poland.

The colleague that I now have a crush on came with us. He's 25 and Polish. He has a girlfriend. I always thought he was a pleasant colleague as well as pleasant-looking but that was about it. I didn't know him very well and we don't work directly together but he sits in my proximity.

On the first day of the vacation we all went out for dinner and drinks and nothing happened. On the second day I went sightseeing alone and then joined my colleagues for dinner and drinks.

Now on the 2nd day things happened between my colleague and I but it was so casual and insidious I didn't even notice. He had been drinking. He put his arm around me and drew me in closer to him on one occasion and another colleague noticed this. During dinner he put his hand on my knee about 3 times and when we were walking to the nightclub after dinner he put his hand on my lower back. He danced with me but he also danced with the other colleagues as well. I wanted to leave the nightclub early do have a shower and he said to me: "I will shower you." He didn't want me to leave early. He wanted me to stay in the nightclub.

On the 3rd day I was smiling at him all the time and he was smiling back.

Back to work now. The first day back I just couldn't help it - I have a massive crush on him and kept smiling at him when I saw him.

2nd day back - I think he noticed what's going on and has created a bit of emotional distance between us and stopped being so smiley.

Well it's business as usual back at work but I feel so attracted to him! I have a huge crush. It's hard to hide and I feel awkward and uncomfortable I also feel a bit teased; he started this situation himself by showing me attention and now he withdrawals. I find myself really into him and think of him this way when I'm at work.

What can I do?

Sex wanes in a lot of marriages with kids in the equation. You could use this Happening as a good reason to sort stuff out - to really start talking to your husband, go to sex therapy, go on dates - whatever to try and get your sex life back. You’d be crazy not to at least try with your family at stake

I get the excitement and buzz of someone fancying you and flirting. It happens and now you’ve noticed your marriage is currently vulnerable in that way. But boring as your husband might seem to you right now, he’s the one you committed to and surely that deserves a chance.

That's very dismissive of my needs and feelings. Why be married if you're never going to have sex? There's no point.

Is this a joke? No one can be so emotionally retentive surely.

Thank god half terms over soon

I think its normal. Itll pass and dont think too much into it or let it be a problem. Your married with kids, someone else has showed you attention, and it makes you feel good about yourself again. Its different and exciting. The difference is recognising it and not letting it get more than that x

My husband and I have had issues in the past and I've had workplace issues in the past where I was harassed out of a job. I haven't had many people make me feel good about myself in these past 5 years.

'i wanted to go home and get a shower and he said 'ill shower with you' 😂😂😂

Ooh how supersexy.

Whenever I'm out dancing with colleagues I always tell them when I'm specifically going home for a shower.

OP you sound like youre just waiting for someone on here to give you permission to persue this stupid crush.

Youve had "feelings" for this man, who is clearly unsuitable, for mere days.
You have responsibilities at home, boring as they may seem.
Tell your husband its not working and you need to rebuild from the ground up.

Imagine in your head having to sit your husband down and tell him you practically cheated on him on your work trip. On a work trip that he supported, by looking after your children so you could go and not waste your degree, and that you find him too boring in bed not to cheat on.
Imagine saying that to him.

Now, IRL you should sit him down and explain the current arrangement isnt working and does he want to work with you on coming up with a new plan for your lives together. Perhaps book a holiday together and spice things up. If he says no... move on .. but not with the 25 yr old cheat.

Look op, it was just a drunken flirt. He's not interested, he has a partner.

Sort yourself out. It sounds like you've just flipped because this bloke showed you a little bit of attention.

Either sort your marriage out or end it. This guys not the answer.

Guarantee the fantasy is much better than reality. Enjoy it for what it is & use it to fuel your relationship with hubby 😀

My husband is not willing to go on holiday with me alone. He refuses to get a babysitter for the kids and there are no grandparents or anyone else who could watch them. The marriage is not a priority for him. The problem isn't lack of love but rather lack of desire for anything else on is end.

I despair. You are married! If you want to sleep with other people then do the decent thing and split with your dh first, don't become a cheat and a liar! You would be making your husband's life a lie and that is selfish and cruel. And what about the fact that this other guy has a girlfriend?? While you've been lining up her partner have you given a second's thought to how it would affect her if you tried it on with him, or that you would be intruding in someone else's relationship? He sounds untrustworthy anyway so she may find that out the hard way anyway at some point but don't lower yourself to being the person that is the catalyst. You could ruin a lot of lives by cheating, most notably your dh and your kids. You need to give your head a serious wobble, stop mooning over this bloke like a teenager and wake up to what you are actually considering. You should be ashamed. If you can't be trusted then let your husband go.

Your husband sounds like a good father. You sound like a woman who enjoyed being touched up by a creep.

Arrange a night with him to get it out of your system.

Then carry on as usual.

Why do you only respond with more criticism of your husband. You need to give your head a wobble and stop this. You’re colleague is and absolute creep who wanted to cheat on his partner while away with work! Just vile!
You need to concentrate on the man you married. Do you want to be with him or not? You shouldn’t make that kind of monumental decision whilst lusting after some inappropriate creep

I'm embarrassed for you.

I would think this bloke was too pushy- grabbing your knee etc and the sleazy comment. That wouldn't turn me on at the mo, but I suppose from other times in my life I know what it's like to be so gagging for it that any hint of the possibility of a shag is irresistible.

You need to talk to your husband, see if you can work things out/he can help you out. Best wishes.

Oh and I recommend getting one of the plug in wand vibrators www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/magic-wand-vibrators/ It has probably kept me out of trouble, and it's so good to be in control of your orgasm and possibly even scratch that itch completely. Enjoy.

On a serious note, if you don't take it in hand your horniness could land you in some nasty situations. I was raped, because my spider sense told me a bloke was a bit dodgy but I still got involved with him because I was desperate.

This guy is a bit rapey. Handle your horniness as best you can, so it doesn't override any warning signs you might notice in men in general.

This post makes me sad and angry. So many people working so hard on their marriages and still losing them and you post acting like a 15 year old girl. Sorry op but come on. U have a little crush cause some sleaze bag has shown u a bit of attention. Second day at the office and he is already ignoring u cause it was just a bit of play for him. Look at ur relationship and whether its salvageable. Act accordingly and respectfully and dont let a bit of attention cloud your mind.

I'm not going to pursue this guy. He gave the red light anyways. I agree that he's not the answer.

My husband hasn't had sex with me in over a month. I ask him everyday and it just makes me so sad that it's like this.

tell him you're off home for a shit.

Seriously though just leave you marraige, fuck 50 more years of that

You ask him EVERY day? You do realise that is serious sex pest territory? You resent him putting your dc first. Resent him not putting your sex life above all else. Resent him not leaving the dc behind to go on holiday with you alone. Resent him being at home to support your career. Resent him for being too tired to swing from the chandeliers during sex. Resent him for not being exciting enough for you when he's being a great sahp.

I find this all hard to believe. You're pulling out every cliche men come out with to justify cheating. Next you'll be complaining he's let himself go and put on weigh.

"Sex is one of them. It's been boring since we had kids and I'm very frustrated. I've tried to talk to him about it and it doesn't change"

BOOM! And there's the start of the Script that cheaters of either sex follow.

I've tried a lot of things. I've tried being vulnerable, I've cried. I've tried ignoring him. I've tried to initiate with him and I've tried talking to him. This has been going on for 5 years.

Sex isn't just about sex. It's about intimacy, connection, and feeling desired.

Would you want to do this for 50+ years?

And there have been other times when I haven't brought it up at all and it made no difference.

Is asking someone to do 5 mins of foreplay before just doing it telling them to swing off the chandeliers? No. He doesn't even kiss me or do anything beforehand and his orgasm is guaranteed but mine isn't.