Complicated .....!

[Nicw1969]

Okay, so joined up just for advice on this! I’m 50 (just), married - happy in that my husband is great most of the time but sex stopped probably five years ago. We’ve never discussed why and we are still happy, enjoy each other’s company but just not fussed about the physical stuff.

The complicated bit....following some messages online I met up with a bloke I used to know vaguely through work. He’s not my type, really, he can be really annoying sometimes - childish - but other times is so sweet and makes me laugh. We have progressed to a physical relationship and despite not being my type that bit....well, it’s really great. So....the issue - well, not an issue as such but advice. He and I have talked about something we’d both like to try - a threesome with another woman - but I don’t know where to start trying to find someone. I want to do it because life’s too short and I’d sooner rather with someone who I know is just a fling....

Am I mad to even contemplate it?!

!

It’s not complicated- you’re having an affair. Tell your husband and end your marriage

So this friend of yours, does he know you are married?

Someone will get hurt in all this. Your DH and you probably.

It's really not complicated. You're having an affair. You want to have a threesome.

Where's the complicated part?

I feel sorry for your husband... And I don't detect a shred of guilt or sadness from you - you're having an affair. Very unfair on a "great" guy and a "happy relationship"

A lot of people use a site called Fabswingers. Mind out for this guy though, because in my experience, that sort of relationship can end up with the guy wanting everything he enjoys or has thought about, and it can get a bit gross and hard work. Be firm about not doing stuff you don't like.

As to your husband, if you haven't talked about why the sex dried up, maybe you could rekindle it if you chatted about it? It might be a bit awkward at first, but you'd probably get back into the swing of it after a few times. Or don't you fancy him anymore?

You seem very cavalier about destroying your marriage to a man who you say is a lovely person.

I feel very sad for your husband.

Thank you .....better advice and a reasoned response. A conversation would help. I’m not the only woman in a relationship like this, wasn’t expecting backslapping and sisterhood but still, at least you weren’t on me like a ton of bricks. Appreciate that.

I would suggest fab swingers too. Register as a couple or try a club.

Honestly OP don’t do it. Stop now while you can. I spent the worst time of my life doing what you’re doing now. It was great to begin with but soon became just horrific.

Do you think your husband deserves this? And how would you feel if you found out he was doing exactly the same as you are?
You say you have a happy marriage, but that's only because he doesn't have a clue what you're up to.
How do you think he'd feel if he knew what you were doing? Probably break his heart and your family and home. Now is that worth chancing for a quick sexual thrill?
If you think it is, then go ahead but it doesn't make you a great human being.

People are seriously giving the OP pointers as to where to find a threesome with a man who isn’t her husband? .

OP, if you’re in a sexless marriage and unhappy, then end it. If you’re not unhappy, then end the affair. It’s not that complicated.

And on a site where many posters have been the victims of affairs it’s incredibly callas to come on to the relationships board and ask how to find a threesome with your fuck buddy while you’re still married to someone else.

Have a bit of self respect.

If you had ethics you would tell your husband that you've decided not to be monogamous with him and let him have an opportunity to make an informed decision about what to do next.

Only once that step is out of the way, is it time to plan your extramarital activities.

You are making a fool of your husband. He doesn’t deserve that.

Hi OP,
The chances are this will end badly so I would think you have got nothing to lose if you suggest doing the threesome or couples swinging thing with him! You never know, he may be keen.
Fabswingers is good if you can weed out the idiots.

So you're currently having an affair with a man, and now you want to involve a woman in your sexual affair too? Oh how lovely it'll be for your husband when he finds out, which he will at some point.

If you want a threesome, do it with your husband.

Your are having an affair and are every bit as despicable and skanky as anyone else who has an affair so to be fair i dont suppose it makes much difference how many other people you fuck.

I very much hope your husband is doing with same.

Actually it does sound like her husband is doing the same. Maybe it’s an open marriage?

I would be wary of a guy in this situation wanting a threesome - sounds like a total user. Single women in this scenario are known as unicorns, because they are so rare. Two women and one guy - it would be all about him - selfish sod. Also - not fair on the bloke you are married to.

You're abit crass to come on here boast about you're affair when so woman here are struggling with the aftermath of an affair their dh has engaged in.

I think it's pretty low to cheat on your husband. Your lack of a sex life with him is a joint issue, but he doesn't deserve to be excluded and lied to.

Tell your husband what you are up to.

Let him make an informed decision on whether this is the sort of marriage that he wants.

Disgusting.

Your behaviour and attitude to it are fucking appalling OP