Did you have a baby at 40 or over?

[TigerBreadCake]

If so, how easy was it? Conceiving, pregnancy and birth?

I’m a bit scared of being an older mum but really want my own kids

Dinosauratemydaffodils - I am in awe of you!
Out to lunch day after having baby and walking three miles by week 2.

You're amazing.
I barely got dressed for six weeks.

Do older women tend to have more c sections?
I'm hoping to conceive next year after I get married. Am 36. Feel there is lots of scaremongering nice to read happy stories

If you look at the old census returns online a lot of women over 40 were having babies, before there was access to contraception. My G Grandmother had 9 children the last one was born when she was 46. (Although 2 of her children died very young , infant mortality being so high) I think normally fertile women have little trouble conceiving over 40 and all the panic about fertility dropping of a cliff at 35 doesn't apply to everyone.

I feel like there’s lots of scaremongering too. Why is this?!

*Out to lunch day after having baby and walking three miles by week 2.

You're amazing.*

Thank you but it's luck/possibly genetics. With my first section, dc1 had to go to NICU. I had no idea that I was meant to go back to the ward for drugs so I didn't. By the time it was eventually pointed out about 36 hours later, I wasn't in any pain so didn't bother. So with my 2nd, I just declined all the drugs once I got out of theatre and again it didn't hurt. They made a right botch of the cannula and that hurt way more than the wound. I couldn't flex my hand without stabbing myself but I could get in and out of bed, shower, wander about easily.

Do older women tend to have more c sections?

Possibly but hospitals tend to not like you going over 40 weeks if you're over 40 and there is more testing/scans so possibly a lower threshold. Certainly across all the mums I know regardless of age, I'm in the minority in that I went into labour with both of mine fairly early (38+4 for dc1 and 39 weeks exactly for dc2...my elective was booked for 39+1). Added to that, the risk of severe tears does increase with age. I can't remember the exact stats but that was a factor in me opting for an c-section with my 2nd. However the consultant I saw in my 2nd pregnancy seemed pretty convinced that whatever age I'd had dc1 (dh and I have been together almost 20 years), we would likely have hit the same issues. His family all have giant heads, I have a less than stellar pelvis and even optimally positioned babies don't seem to want to navigate it.

If you look at the old census returns online a lot of women over 40 were having babies, before there was access to contraception.

This. My Grandmother, Great Aunts, Great Great Grandmother etc all had babies into their 40s as did Dh's Grandmother. The problem is, you don't know where you fall until you try. We didn't want kids until we were in our late 30s. We were lucky in that I conceived really quickly and dc1 was born when I was 37 but until then, we had no idea. Whilst it worked for us and I'm happy with the choices we made, I wouldn't advise either of mine to wait until the same age if they know earlier they want children.

I think the main requirement is access to sperm. Are you actually shagging? Then you’ve got past the first hurdle. Worth getting a blood test at your GP and seeing if your hormones are in order. If you're 40 and been trying for years, well then get thee to an assisted conception unit. Do research on success rates and pick the best one near you.

We tried for 6 years naturally, no result. Finally some decent IVF worked first time- DC1 at 42, DC 2 at 43. Both fine.

I had my DS (my first, my only) just before my 40th birthday. Had been 'really' ttc for about 5 months. Appreciate not everyone so lucky.

Pregnancy was tricky in first trimester with various bleeds and culminating in what we thought was a miscarriage in the 2nd month. It turned out to be something called a chorionic hematoma. Utterly grim but appreciate was very lucky that it wasn't a miscarriage. I don't know if this is something that's more common among older mothers.

Birth was emergency caesarian. Seemed like a big deal at the time but DS was fine and I recovered pretty quickly. Now he's a strapping 13 year old!

2DCs born in my 40s. DC1 was my fifth pregnancy. Many miscarriages and a medical termination following positive harmony test and very worrying scan.

For me I think getting pregnant was never a problem but the quality of my eggs were not great, so had to keep going until a good one came along. That was pretty gruelling.

If I was going to do it again, I would absolutely go for the fertility tests. That should help manage your expectations and if you need assistance you will probably go for it earlier. Monitor your cycle and have sex every day for the four days around ovulation.

DC1 pregnancy, once the 12 week scan was over felt like superwoman the whole way through. Was strongarmed into an induction which was v tedious, but recovered from the birth in days.

DC2 more tired, but I think much more to do with having a toddler that was shit at sleeping than being old. Birth was amazing, again recovered in days.

I am conscious of being an older mum, not self conscious, but I am taking much better care of myself than I had before. Less booze, better nutrition and more exercise.

Currently snuggling my 3 month old, I'm 40. We had no trouble conceiving but had 3 miscarriages which after tests turned out I had a blood condition that causes mc. Thankfully treatable, and here we are. We were getting preggers every 3 months though so no long haul for us,

Pregnancy was straight forward despite being high risk, birth was even more amazing, quick, no pain relief, no stitches. I opted for hypnobirthing and plenty of low impact exercise during pregnancy. We were out of the house on day 2 and have been every day since.

Currently debating whether we'll do it again. We'd always said only one but..... 🤷🏻‍♀️❤️

I'd say don't stress about it and just go for it. You'll deal with whatever happens.

Yes, I had babies at 41 and 42.

First was conceived second month of trying, second without trying .

Easy pregnancies with no health problems at all. And contrary to what everyone claims here, no HCP ever suggested I was old or needed extra care.

Though it probably helps that I’m very slim and physically fit ( sorry not bragging just being honest ). Obviously if you are already have high blood pressure, obesity or are insulin resistant then you are more likely to have problems when you are pg. And they are more common at 40 than 20.

I had Difficult births, probably because I’m a very small build with a large husband and babies take after him rather than me. Despite what doctors tell me.

Yea I had my 3rd one at 41
Had had 3 miscarriages before so was starting to be investigated when I found I was pregnant.
They kept a much closer eye on me.had more scans etc.
Also found I had a blood disorder so had to inject myself every day all through the pregnancy &for 6wks after.
Pregnancy was great though just had bit if spd towards the end&actually lost weight!lol
Birth was pretty quick&ended up having the home birth I wanted but wasn't allowed to have!lol
She's now a happy,healthy 11 yr old