Is he lying?

[Lyingtwat]

Myself and my dh are living together with dc but are seperate, we have not shared a bed in 7 months and are slowly headed towards divorcing.
He doesnt want to really but agrees that it's probably for the best.
Anyway, so we are on holiday which we booked a year ago with children, we decided to still come as we booked it with friends and their dc..we got to the apartment and one of the bedrooms is unusable.
We decided we would be fine to sleep in the queen size bed together.
First night was fine, he stayed on his side e on mine.
Second night I wake up to find him fo sling me down there..I was dead asleep, my instinct was to grab his hand and shout and ask what the fuck he was doing? I punched him in his arm as I was beyond furious, he just said what? What's up? I told him if he touched me again I'd rip his arm off..
Both dc kind of woke up so I got them back to sleep and went to sleep myself.
In the morning he claimed not to remember a thing and that he was asleep and must've moved his arm over by accident.
He keeps saying this over and over and swearing blind he wasnt doing anything
If he was asleep then how did he find my clit and start rubbing?
Is he lying?

Sexsomnia does happen (very rare and exacerbated by stress/anxiety).
On the other hand, spousal abuse happens too (much more frequently I'd guess).
Only you know your husband well enough to decide if he was capable of the latter.
I hope you get to the bottom of it.

Not remembering would be very convenient. And rare.

Yes, he's lying.

If you follow the principle of the simplest answer is usually the right one.

Doesn't sound convincing that he doesn't remember. Sounds more like he was trying his luck as you've not shared a bed for quite some time and he wants sex.... most men do that don't they trying their luck ... but also he may of thought in his own head if you did go through with it MAYBE their was a chance at your marriage as you said he didn't want to divorce x

If it quacks like a duck....

Does he have form for this sort of behaviour?

I call bs as well.

@quincejamplease

That it would. I had an ex partner with diagnosed sexomnia. Rare doesn't mean never but it's not something that anyone on here could say for sure.

Probably lying.

Thing is even if he isn't, he then has sexsomnia or whatever it is. So dont share a bed with him.

He has tried to initiate sex while I was sleeping in the past albeit when we were together but he very quickly learned he might lose a hand if he tried again.
He does have form for lying and making me think I'm going crazy
Right now hes trying to make me believe j was half asleep and dreamed the whole thing up.

Also he has been trying to massage me the whole time weve been here under the guise of just wanting to help me. I keep batting him away and he says because he knows I'm tired and recovering from the flu and doesnt want me to over do it.
We haven't so much as touched hands in months because I dont want to give him the wrong idea.

You can't share with him again, what's the plan for tonight?

Theirs your answer. He clearly doesn't want the divorce and wants you and him to be physical again and work by the sounds of it.... even though you've not gave that impression he's still hooked on you woman! Haha I don't know what to suggest as he clearly doesn't get the hint/punch
God I wish I had a massage now lol x

I have no choice but to share or maybe I'll go on the sofa but I did try that the first hour on the first night and I had mosquitos buzzing around my head. Hes not the type to offer to sleep on the sofa so maybe I'll just have to.

Fgs don't give up a comfy bed. When you go to sleep in it tonight put a pillow or piles of clothing, soft bags etc between you and warn him that if he crosses the line again he's likely to get more than his arm ripped off.

AARGH! Men!

So sorry you've had this experience. As he has form for this, you know he was most likely doing it consciously. He took advantage of the situation to try and chance his arm. This has been sexual assault every time of course.

He may well of done it in his sleep but chances are he hasn’t and like others have said he sounds like he wants to rekindle or be intimate at the very least.

Maybe it’s time for the talk to set things in stone of that’s what you want

I think I’d rather the mosquitos tbh

Have one of the kids share with you instead?

That's what I've done @RandomMess.
I found condoms in his pocket so he was obv hoping for sex at some point
He thinks im being dramatic and that he didnt do it on purpose

Urghhhhhhhhh

He is completely lying!

yuck, hes a pest op and hes lying. I'm sorry you have to cope with this on holiday

This is sexual assault surely?!

You've made it clear you aren't interested and in no way receptive to his advances. Telling him once should be enough. The repeated attempts are harassment OP.
Also, if he has form for any sort of parasomnia (sexsomnia inluded) then he shouldn't be in the same bed as anyone else. If he genuinely touched you in his sleep, he'd be terrified to do it to anyone else by accident. Seems like he knows full well he was in control of his actions.

Yes. He is lying. You say he has form for gaslighting you in the past, so this is what he is doing now. You know you are not crazy & did not imagine it. He has done this in the past.