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Relationships

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Original poster

He slept with someone when we were on a break

40 replies

Newuser9876 · 17/10/2019 17:24

Seeing him 2 years, I loved him so much but things got stressful and we needed some time apart, he jumped into bed with a girl from work and says it made him feel better about himself. We only were apart for 2 weeks.
He wants to work things out, Will I get over it? I feel if he really loved me he wouldn’t of done it and will I be able to put it behind us?

OP posts:

18995168a · 17/10/2019 17:25

Whose idea was the ‘break’? Why were things getting stressful beforehand? And did you discuss whether or not you were going to remain exclusive during the break?

PlasticPatty · 17/10/2019 17:27

No, you won't get over it. If he'd been intending to be part of a couple with you, he wouldn't have done it.

A 'break' means you aren't together. He did what single people do. The question is, do you want that man in your life? And if so, why?

richteasandcheese · 17/10/2019 17:36

Rachel, is that you?

Seriously though, if he needs to shag a random to make himself feel better, then there's very little hope going forward

Clangus00 · 17/10/2019 17:36

Sorry but you weren’t together, he can do what (and whom) he chooses.
Personally that would be absolute end of him for me!

BingoLittlesUncle · 17/10/2019 17:38

Surely the more important question is why did he come back to the OP?

helpmum2003 · 17/10/2019 17:41

To be fair if you're on a break he was single.

However, you need to carefully consider if he is committed to your relationship. And he needs to get checked if they had unprotected sex.

squashyhat · 17/10/2019 17:43

But we were on a breeeaaaak! (sorry)

Original poster

Newuser9876 · 17/10/2019 17:44

Stress with work and kids and running two homes and ex’s, had an argument and he called it a day as it was just all too much to deal with. Not sure what to do, Iv missed him being around. He seems so sorry also, has told me everything and has said he can changed jobs, whatever I want but I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel the same way about him again. We are amazing, kids all get on and we get time alone too that was amazing. I don’t know why he even did it and now it feels like it’s cheapened our relationship and we will never get it back again like we were but I also don’t want to loose him all together he’s everything I want in someone except this thing

OP posts:

GameSetMatch · 17/10/2019 17:49

If you know deep down it’s going to taint your relationship forever more then it’s time to call call it day, if you will/can forget and move on great! I would be so angry and wouldn’t ever get over it. Will you be bringing it up in arguments, if so I wouldn’t stay with him the mental stress on you both will be too huge. I’m really sorry this happens to you!

sonjadog · 17/10/2019 17:49

Nah, I wouldn't be happy about this. It was only two weeks. Could he really not manage a two week break without shagging someone else?? Is he going to need "a break" every time he fancies someone? I think it would be different if it were 6 months, but two weeks is really not long to do without sex.

WheresMyIcelandJambalaya · 17/10/2019 17:51

WE WERE ON A BREAK!!

Sorry, the title immediately got me thinking 'Friends'. As you were, I'll read OP now!

WheresMyIcelandJambalaya · 17/10/2019 17:55

says it made him feel better about himself

That's a very odd excuse. What does he mean? What was the break about?

Will I get over it?

Only you can tell. Do you want to get over it? Was this break more of a break up than a temporary break? Do you feel betrayed that he seemed to move on just two weeks into the separation?

It's really up to you to think this true but if you don't trust him anymore, you shouldn't be with him.

Suebnm · 17/10/2019 17:58

Had he been gearing up to have sex with her before you broke up for two weeks?

As PP said is he going to break up and get back together every time he wants to shag her? You need an STI check.

Pinkbonbon · 17/10/2019 17:58

Sorry but i'd put money on him having her lined up, THAT'S why he suggested the break.

I think the writing is on the wall with this one but who knows. Don't put any pressure on yourself to get over it. Continue to take some space maybe n just see how you feel in time. Take time to judge if he is really remorseful or if it is all just chat. And if he actually gives a shit about you, or only himself.

18995168a · 17/10/2019 18:02

So he suggested a break, so he could bang another woman?

You know, part of me is kinda impressed he at least ended it with you before shagging her. I mean it would immediately write him off in my mind as a partner, and I could never be with him again, but you gotta kinda admire that he didn’t cheat. He told you you were over as a couple first.

Have some self respect though OP. He wanted the freedom to bang her and then come back to you. You’re not enough for him and he’s not that into you, or he’d never have risked losing you by breaking up with you and then sleeping with someone else. It’s broken.

DBML · 17/10/2019 18:13

He fancied someone at work and finished with you to shag her.

In a way it was the correct thing to do.

Sad thing is that he’s now reconsidered and wants back in. It’ll never be the same again though op. I’m sorry.

Nuttyfellalovesnutella · 17/10/2019 18:17

I think a break means you’re single. You’re seeing if the grass is greener. Of course,

KUGA · 17/10/2019 18:21

Friends episode but in real life.
Id`e rather be single.

annielouise · 17/10/2019 18:23

Agree with PlasticPatty. If you had a break from each other to help the relationship get back on course, a breather so to speak, why is he sleeping with someone else. Perhaps "being on a break" can only be labelled that in hindsight - i.e. you break up with the intention of not getting back together again so you're free agents, you get back together and can label that "being on a break". I think it sounds like you just needed space from each other, called it "a break" which implies you can both do what you want - and he took the literal explanation of it (because it suited him no doubt). How would he feel if you did the same? Not bothered? Go on another break. Did you intend to get back together? If so, pretty poor of him.

annielouise · 17/10/2019 18:25

Ok, he called it a day. You're weren't on a break, you split up although usually splitting up isn't a clean break. Two weeks is a bit shitty - implies to me you needed space but he jumped into bed with someone. I don't know, if you can't live with it then split up. Or stay. Those are your two options. By sleeping with her he probably thought it over between you both with no getting back, whereas on a break implies you'll get back.

SprinkleDash · 17/10/2019 18:27

Taking a break is your first clue that your relationship is in bad shape. Couples in healthy relationships don’t need breaks.

I’d call it a day.

PositiveVibez · 17/10/2019 18:30

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ZenNudist · 17/10/2019 18:31

So he ditched you, shagged someone else and now wants to get back with you. Have some standards and dont take him back.

Twatty thing to do. He blatantly ditched you as he had this other girl in mind. The only difference with just plain cheating is hes doing this in plain sight.

He doesn't love you sorry. You deserve better.

18995168a · 17/10/2019 18:35

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PositiveVibez · 17/10/2019 18:35

He probably spun a line to this other woman, declaring undying love and telling her he's left you.

Don't get back with the odious little prick.

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