Affairs.....why is it always the womans job

[Greenkit]

In all the posts about men going off and having affairs, its always the woman/wife/GF left behind who has to rearrange her life and sort out childcare or rearrange her job to accommodate him leaving.

I worked with a man many years ago and his wife always said to him, if he had an affair, she would leave him with the children. She would be the weekend 'fun' parent and he would be left with all the responsibility of his children and rearranging his job.

I just dont understand why it is always down to the woman to do this, and the man gets to swan off and be the part time parent?

When men (and women) leave for an OW / OM they usually do it for a fresh start, and that unfortunately means leaving the existing kids behind too because these people are inherently selfish. It’s not a male / female problem but more of a cheater problem - all of the cheats I know have left their kids behind to start new lives. One woman left her 10 month old behind, never sees him, but within a year had given birth to twins with the new man.

Because there's no way in Hell that I'd be without my children. Yes, it may seem unfair but there's no way he would be having my children on top of being with a new woman.

I think it boils down to biology and instinct: nature. Mothers are to be nurturers and protectors of their offspring. We do often have a much bigger attachement . 95% of women wouldnt give their kids up to the dad or anybody else no matter how much more difficult their lifes are.we are very much disadvantaged in that sense, but compelled to do it. Now for the rest of women that would feel fine to be the second carer and hand kids to dad for daily care.... they need to be heard and taken into consideration. They should have the right to do so without judgement. Dads should be just as important and involved. Theyre just not.

My partner's son's mum had an affair and left when DSS was 1yo, and didn't see him properly and regularly until he was 6.

So women can be dicks, too.

Hi Newby here I just wanted to know where the law stands with a married couple still trying to make relationship work but living separately. We live separately and have our own council property and pay our own bills and claim HB and Essa for both. I'm worried and don't let him stay as I'm not sure what is allowed. He doesn't contribute at all to the household financially. Or towards the kids as he has the youngest one several nights a week. Staying at his can anyone shed any light as he feels like I'm not commited enough to try and make it work as I'm being cold towards him by not allowing him near me

@mumpet68: hi there, welcome - you really need to start a new thread of your own to get answers - people won't necessarily read your post here and it's the net-iquette here to have your own thread.

Thanks I've tried but it wont let me post when I cli k on the arrow nothing helps

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships?call=NewConversationPage