I feel like my husband completely takes the piss?

[unreasonabledoubt]

It's been happening for a long time now. 9 times out of 10, he will always go to his friends straight after work without even telling me. I have made dinner and got it all ready for when he comes home, then when I realise he isn't home on time so I text him and then he text back telling me that he has gone to his friends for dinner and he will be home soon. This never ever happens! He always ends up staying there very late or just doesn't bother coming home until the next morning cos he slept in their spare room. I already know he is there as I am best friends with his friends friend who also lives there and I know for a fact that he wouldn't cheat. What I'm getting pissed off at is I am doing everything at home from cleaning, cooking, looking after children, working, etc and he just fucks off and drinks and relaxes after work and doesn't bother fucking letting me know. I went very moody and he said what's wrong with me now so I blew my lid off and told him that he's an inconsiderate prick and that his priorities need reevaluating cos he has time to call and text other people but doesn't bother messaging me to let me know where he is or whether he is coming home or to even ask how I am. It's one text. I feel like that he doesn't even want to come home to me anymore , he started acting idiotic saying well I won't see them anymore then and I will do everything you tell me to do and I will not work and just stay at home .. pathetic and I said you really don't get it do you! Am I in the wrong here? I don't no what else to do anymore. I feel very unloved and unappreciated and always on my own

You really aren't being unreasonable, imagine how he'd react if the positions were reversed. I bet he wouldn't tolerate you acting the same way as he does now.

Whats the ideal outcome for you?

You do not have a marriage. You have another child who treats you like absolute shit. I would tell him he will now be living full-time at his friend's house because you are divorcing him. Why are you wasting your life with him? It's time to stop being such a mug.

What would happen if you did the same?!

He's a selfish prick and this is not normal behaviour in a relationship. Why doesn't he want to come home to his family?!

You have children together and he regularly doesn’t bother coming home, and doesn’t let you know? That’s completely unacceptable.

I’d review what avoid the relationship made my life better. While you’re doing that, stop doing anything for him, including making meals.

He’s taking the absolute piss.

Yeah he’s a selfish twat. Majorly. Fuck him off.

He does get it, by the way, of course he does, he just doesn’t want to do what you tell him to (even though it’s perfectly reasonable). So “trying to explain” or make him see it from your point of view won’t work - he knows full well most people don’t do this and it’s a shit thing to do. He just doesn’t care.

Your husband goes to his friends house after work and his friend cooks him dinner? Really? Knowing he's got a wife and kids waiting for him?

I can’t believe youve let this go on so long!

Of course he is unreasonable, selfish and clearly doesnt care about you. Throw him out.

I wouldn't accept that from DS, I certainly wouldn't accept it from the other adult and parent in the house. He is totally taking the piss OP.

Your poor kids, how old are they ?

Is he an alcoholic ? Does he get pissed when he's there ?

Does his friend and your best mate who also lives there not tell him to go home ?

How often does this happen?

I know you say you are best friends with his friend’s friend but it sounds like someone is covering for him. There is a reason he isn’t coming home & that reason is unlikely to be good

Sounds like he's already checked out of the life he has with you. Yanbu but you need to change your situation and be with someone who actually cares about you ( let alone the children)

Get him to fuck

Next time he doesn't come home, change the locks and have his stuff waiting on the doorstep. This idiot needs a short, sharp shock!

Nope, he's not worth it OP. His response was also that of a child. Sack him off and divorce his arse.

He's checked out and needs chucking out. Send his stuff to his friend.

As others have said you do not have a marriage.

Starters for ten... Stop washing his clothes and stop cooking his food.

Life will be much easier if you stop caring, just make your own dinner and go about your evening instead of fretting and phoning him.

Are you sure he’s at his friends house? Stays there overnight? Not normal.

Stop doing anything for him.

When he’s home just up and leave and go to a friends or family and stay there overnight without contacting him at all.

When he messages, copy and paste his message back to him about never going out and staying at home all the time.

I wouldn’t have put up with it the first time he did this.

I would make an unexpected visit one evening to the friends house..this all sounds very odd to me! It's one thing to not come home to you but to not want to see his children either is just awful..I wouldn't put up with it op

It is very simple, he should want to come home to you.

What Sushi said. Stop doing his laundry, buying any food for him etc. Ignore him, stop texting/calling him. IGNORE. Then, if he starts reacting, rinse and repeat. If after a few weeks he doesn't notice or react, LTB.

Honestly i’d just change the locks one day and be done. He's not participating in family life and you'd be better off on your own (you practically are anyway).

I am so sorry to read this, this must be such a difficult situation for you to be in. You know you are not being unreasonable , and I know whoever you ask would confirm you are not being unreasonable . Not only is he a husband , who should want to come home to see him wife , he is also a father, who should want to come home to see his children. To stay at his friends over night is just terrible when he is a dad. And to not message his wife to say he's going out when she's cooked dinner is so disrespectful.

His response to you is very childish - and I can imagine how frustrating that is for you and probably makes you feel like you are asking him for the world (I promise you are not!)

I know it's easier said than done and is difficult when children are involved , but I would definitely have to consider calling it a day with him. Maybe speak to any close family or friends for support ??

oh my gawd OP .. how are you living like this .. ?!

this guy is a selfish prick .. this is not a marriage.. it's not even close.. I'm outraged for you