I feel like my husband completely takes the piss?

[unreasonabledoubt]

It's been happening for a long time now. 9 times out of 10, he will always go to his friends straight after work without even telling me. I have made dinner and got it all ready for when he comes home, then when I realise he isn't home on time so I text him and then he text back telling me that he has gone to his friends for dinner and he will be home soon. This never ever happens! He always ends up staying there very late or just doesn't bother coming home until the next morning cos he slept in their spare room. I already know he is there as I am best friends with his friends friend who also lives there and I know for a fact that he wouldn't cheat. What I'm getting pissed off at is I am doing everything at home from cleaning, cooking, looking after children, working, etc and he just fucks off and drinks and relaxes after work and doesn't bother fucking letting me know. I went very moody and he said what's wrong with me now so I blew my lid off and told him that he's an inconsiderate prick and that his priorities need reevaluating cos he has time to call and text other people but doesn't bother messaging me to let me know where he is or whether he is coming home or to even ask how I am. It's one text. I feel like that he doesn't even want to come home to me anymore , he started acting idiotic saying well I won't see them anymore then and I will do everything you tell me to do and I will not work and just stay at home .. pathetic and I said you really don't get it do you! Am I in the wrong here? I don't no what else to do anymore. I feel very unloved and unappreciated and always on my own

Something I learnt from mumsnet “never make someone your priority when you are only their option”. That’s how he’s treating you. Your life will vastly improve if you get rid. Build a life for yourself then find someone who really cares for you.

People with household staff inform the staff whether or not dinner is required. He's treating his wife worse than that!

He’s being a prick. I’d leave him, I really would.
Next time he comes home just walk out and say hi it e going to stay at a friend’s house. Don’t answer his messages. Let him sort the kids. Do it on repeat until he gets the message. What a prick

P.s as a way of talking to him , can you phrase things in a personal way rather than an attack on him , turn the focus to YOU and your feelings rather than him and what he is or isn't doing , for example say something like :
"When you don't come home, it makes me feel like you don't want to come home to me" "when you stay at your friends late or through the night , I feel like you don't want to spend time with the kids" "when you don't text me to say you're eating out , and I make you dinner that gets thrown in the bin , I feel very unappreciated" . Etc

He can't come back with a stupid idiotic response if you tell him how it makes YOU feel. If he is a decent man I would hope that would make him stop and think how his actions are upsetting you and how they are making you feel. Good luck ! Xx

@Aquamarine1029

Divorce??? Why does that have to be the first option? Can we no longer try to resolve issues in marriage without giving up???

And she is not being a mug

Tell him there needs to be an equal division of labour re housework and childcare and that he will be in on the nights that suit you. Then go out on your nights off and treat him just the same and see how he likes it.

Are they his children?

What the hell is the 'friend' getting out of this? Cooking for and acommodating another adult (who, presumably, isn't paying to stay there or for the food that's being cooked)? Why would they cook for another adult who they KNOW has a house and a wife and children waiting for them?

Sounds like the 'friend' may well be covering for what's really going on, and your 'best friend' is either lying to you or also being kept in the dark.

There is something going on in that house that they don't want you to know about (and it might not be a woman, it might be a man...) and your DH is being a complete and utter dick, whatever he's up to.

It seems like he does not want to be married. What about a legal separation. Change the locks, pack his clothes and let him move in with his "friends". Do not let him back home without counseling and an evaluation for alcoholism. You deserve better. Give him a chance, but don't be a doormat.

1. Stop cooking for him.

1. Stop texting him.

1. Lock the fucker out.

1. See a solicitor and start making plans to divorce him.

He's a loser. He's already checked out of your marriage. He just doesn't have the guts to tell you. Sorry.

Is he happy OP?

That’s the only reason I can think of that he’s not coming home. This isn’t normal behaviour in a happy family.