Should I contact OW?

[Stillfunny]

So , thanks to FB, found the woman that my DH of 30 years had an online EA with .
She is now married and living outside UK.

So tempted to message and tell her that I know about her and my DH. Seems she must have also cheated on DH ( ha!) . Don't know what I hope to achieve.Probaly just vent , slag her off and at the very least cause her a bit of anxiety. To somehow compensate for all my restless nights thinking about the affair.

So, do I message her or take the higher ground and retain a dignified silence.??

Yes they had sex. And I am not sharing bed with him. House big enough to live somewhat seperately.
I am preparing to split as soon as I can. Need to get finances , etc sorted first.
And just so so sorry and sad that my STBXH brought this shit into my life. After 30 years married.

@Notallitseemstobe *
Married women are very happy to date married men, no issues or weakness required. And no guilt.*
Then they have ethical issues.

Nothing to aspire to.
And certainly to be avoided if you're married ( predatory )

Most mm want both their wife and their side piece.

It's not a case of choosing ow over the dw

Only very few do this and it usually ends up badly.

Op, I have to be honest, you don't write like someone who is planning to split or knows it's all on him. You write like you're blaming her. It's all about how she lied and cheated, and what she did, like your husband just fell into her cock first, that he couldn't possibly have pursued her, you even refer to him as your husband, and not soon to be ex.

You're anonymous on here, you may as well be honest and not just post what you think you should.

Right now it sounds like your planning on staying with him and to do so you can't make his life too hellish , just in case he ends it, so you need to lash out at someone, so are picking her.

@zsazsajuju I'm now 25 and I didn't leave him because he recognised what a moron he'd been, and immediately did everything in his power to put the situation right. If I'd have felt I was in competition with her I'd have left, I don't have any desire to be convincing anyone why they should respect me. I have no time for people that don't value me accordingly. He had never had a girlfriend before and didn't realise how the messages would hurt me, and to be fair to him, the conversations were rather one sided to a large extent. If I truly wanted it to be a competition there were other things I could have done to hurt her, but I try to be the kind of person I'd like to be friends with, so not petty or vengeful.

Bluntness100 OK, I am taking on board what you are saying to me.
I absolutely totally blame him .And him only. She owes me nothing , I know that . But an opportunity arose that I could contact her.And the vindictive part of me was tempted to let her know that I knew what she did.And possibly scare her that I might tell her now DH. Just wanted to be vengeful .Not an attractive trait I know.
And yes , at the moment he is my husband. Getting rid takes time ( not in UK ). And he is so not getting an easy time. Need to keep up the facade a little while longer as not been able to tell adult DCs as did not want to distress them . I also now have an elderly relative living with us , so living arrangements are complex.
Yes , MN is anonymous which is exactly why I can vent like this!!
And appreciate the advice and support.