Last chance saloon

[onemoresmartie]

Hi everyone
I have posted before but I'm at my wits end today
Have been dating a guy since August and things were going well or so I thought
He had mentioned he wanted to be girlfriend and boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and I said I wanted us to date for a bit longer as I felt he hadn't been as consistent as in the beginning
He said he was fine with this and has since said that he took a big knock when I said that.

He has been hurt in the past as have I and yesterday after him cancelling our plans to spend Sunday together he has sent me a message saying he thinks we both have unresolved issues from past relationships that he is gutted but doesn't want to continue things

Im reeling and thought that dating someone for 2/3 months is still just getting to know each other and feel like there's something else going on

Do I contact him one last time or just leave him alone?

His last message said I hope you find someone, take care 🤨

We had a chat on Friday night and cleared the air and within 48 hours he has ended it

My brain is fried

He has just said there has been doubts from the beginning and not aimed at me but about him trusting someone

Now I'm even more 🤯

Its time to leave it be....he has issues he needs to sort out...he isn't relationship material at the moment I am afraid.

He's now said maybe he's made a rushed decision and that he doesn't know

I literally am lost for words

I'd give him another chance tbh

Meet him in the pub and tell him you want a serious relationship

Do I suggest it or leave it up to him?

If you were exclusively dating then you were in a relationship.... that's kind of how it works, no?

Tbh i read that text as him attention seeking and wanting a reaction from you!

As someone a similar age to you, i see nothing wrong with taking things slow, especially when there is a child involved! He sounds hard work and playing for attention! Delete his number and find someone else.

He is fucking with you, please just tell him to fuck right off.

I need to
He's just opening WhatsApp and not reading my messages now 😤😤😤

@onemoresmartie seriously, he is playing games! If he knows it is annoying you then then what he wants.

He's asking me why I've messaged him and have I been thinking about it

Fuck sake of course I have
I spent yesterday in tears

Dry those tears, pull your big girl pants up and block the idiot, he is messing with you....you do not deserve that. Cry and wipe the tears and move on as soon as possible. xx

He’s not worth it, just a couple of months in and he’s like this? He should still be in “charming” mode. Block and thank your lucky stars you’re rid of the idiot.

I'm tempted to send him one last message to say now your being emotionally abusive by ignoring me and keeping me on edge after saying I was upset
Grow up and good luck

I wouldn't do that. How long since he messaged? I find it better to take my time and send fewer messages, to ensure I don't write something silly. Especially when talking seriously like you are.

He's been online and the first line of my message says I've been upset
It was half an hour ago

Hes pushing as many of your buttons as he can find. Call a friend, relative or neighbour and distract yourself. Dont let him reel you back in or you'll regret it.

@onemoresmartie he's attention seeking, honestly archive his chat and block him. There's a lot of alarm bells going off already. I'm in my 30s too and there is no way I'd be rushing into a relationship especially with kids involved. You've every right to feel that way. You said no so now he's punishing you for not doing as he says. Honestly you've dodged a bullet.

If you're best friend was going through this what would you say?

Hi Smartie,

I remember your previous thread and I want to reiterate what others have already said - WELL DONE YOU!!!!!! You protected yourself and drew a boundary! That is AMAZING!!!! You really have come so far so try (I can only imagine how hard it is) to be proud of yourself! Because a year ago, you would not have been able to do that...basing that on your last thread. You have come sooooooo far!

And I will just leave it at that. I have no advice for your current situation EXCEPT trust yourself. Trust your gut. Take a deep breath before you do anything. You know from experience what you can and cannot tolerate. Stick to your guns and always enforce YOUR boundaries! You are doing great!!!! (((hugs!!!)))

Thanks x that was such a lovely message to read and reassuring

I really hope I'm one of the woman on here offering great advice in years to come and not still asking for it

So since Tuesday he has said maybe he thinks he has made a hasty decision and could we meet up this weekend...I agreed and said would love to go out for dinner or something and now he has said he would rather stay in and watch tv at my house because he's moving house in 2 weeks so needs to save money

He was out last night I might add with friends and I didn't hear from him from 9pm last night till 3pm today

Is it me or is he taking the mick! Really not sure what to say or do tbh
If I cancel tomorrow I know I'll regret it but at the same time he isn't making much effort across the board at the moment

Don’t bother going

Sorry stupid phone! Don’t bother going it won’t change anything and he’s just going to try and lure you in to being his standby option with this “am I or aren’t I in this relationship” nonsense. Take control and don’t engage. Block and then block some more!

Just say you’ve reconsidered and you’re going to leave off meeting up this weekend. Then block