Urgent advice really needed!

[Hammers1987]

So, I met my Husband yesterday to discuss the children. He is currently living with the woman he cheated on me with and left me for.
To cut a long story short he told me the grass wasn't greener on the other side, that he was unhappy and wanted to come home.
Whilst we were walking back to his car the other woman turned up, got out the car and kicked off screaming and shouting all in front of her 7 year old son. My ex wouldn't let her attack me and asked her to stop speaking to me the way she was. Anyway, she shouted in front of my daughter that she was pregnant and having a scan on Tuesday.
I spoke with my Husband who said she had done three pregnancy tests and they were all negative and she thinks she is pregnant because of sore breasts and sickness. When I asked about the scan he said it is a pelvic ultrasound at the GP surgery. I asked if she had had blood tests and he said no. Apparently she has said the scan is an early pregnancy scan but I was under the impression a gp wouldn't request one and certainly with no confirmation of pregnancy? She had back surgery only two weeks ago and to be honest I am not sure I believe her as it all seems a bit strange. Can anyone shed some light in this? This news has floored me, I went from sorting things out with my husband to hearing that!

Sorry for you loss OP. You take care of yourself. No rush to invite him back or tell him to sod off if your head is mince just now. I think you deserve better than him though

@Hammers1987 that's awful, I am so sorry. Is anyone around in RL to support you?

So sorry for your loss. What a wanker.

@bakesalesally no, no support in RL. It's not something I can talk to anyone about it's just too much and too messy to involve anyone else x

Involve other people.

You are trying to protect him, and your relationship

If he had cared for your relationship, he wouldn't have stuck his cock in another woman and got her pregnant (or not).

Decide now - are you worth more? Or are you gloing to 'pick-me-dance' and try to win the fantastic prize of a man who will cheat when it suits him?

I'd personally fuck him off to deal with his own drama, and keep well out of it. I suggest you do the same, and at the very least, if you do something different, get really interested in why the hell you think you are worth being treated so badly.

Oh wow. Do not take him back! He told you the grass wasn’t greener? After leaving and shagging somebody else! Woopdy Doo dude. You should have laughed in his face and told him to go suck it. If you take him back he’ll leave again. The next time some willing slag hole opens her legs for him. You know that. Tell him to bugger off. And that woman should be ashamed of herself. She’s putting her kid through this drama. Seriously. Women need to keep their legs shut to other people’s problems..I mean husbands.

Urgent advice:

Don't have sex again with your husband.

Don't take him back.

Don't believe a word he says.

Do divorce him.

Don't take him back. She might be pregnant and he is trying to run away from his kid and responsibilities. Kick him back to her, he chose her not you and cheated on you. He is not worthy of you.

He asked me if I would keep our conversations via message and face to face between us whilst we sorted things out, and to not involve other people.
I genuinely believe he is unhappy, and he admittedly said he had been on self destruct and spiralling out of control following his arrest and the drinking. He also admitted the grass isn't greener on the other side and he wanted us to go back to where we got married to start again.
I do t know what to believe. Part of me saw the man I met and married, the other part doesn't know what to believe.
I was doing so well, and now I have spent the day in tears and feeling like I am back to square one!

Oh honey. Please do tell someone. A friend. That's such a big ask of him, and very unfair of him. You are going through so much, and grieving your losses, a baby and a relationship. That's a big loss of hope and the future you thought you had.
He is being incredibly selfish asking you to keep this to yourself.

You would be an utter fool to take this fuckup back

He got arrested? Omg.

You can’t fix all his problems. You can’t make him be faithful.

He doesn’t want anyone to know in case it got back to the OW and she found out what he was trying to do (just in case you said no so he’d have a bolt hole with her even though he doesn’t love her) Wow. He’s unreal. Dump his ass. All he cares about is himself.

I've not read the thread but my advice is...

You can't help who you love and we all make mistakes. Take some time for you, work out what it is that you want, regardless of children or marriage.

People cheat and relationships can still be worked out but that's not something that happens over night.

As for the other women, I suggests she probs insecure. She could be pregnant and worried about him leave. She could be worried he'll leave so is using pregnancy as a way to keep him. All of this is not your burden to carry.

It's easy for others to say cut all ties and run in the other direction but its not that easy if your still IN love. Just remember there's being IN love and Loving someone, there not the same

Also he doesn’t want anyone knowing what a shit he is.

What do you want? Single has to be better than this waste of space.

Who leaves a pregnant wife and gets another pregnant in the space of a few weeks?

Would you want this for your daughter?

Talk to a real life friend.

He has treated you badly , you did not deserve that.

He doesn’t have the right to pick and choose.

She may or may not be pregnant. You have no way of knowing. I wouldn't pay any attention to his three negative test story. if she was the ow then he was shagging her and lying to you so he has proven he cant be trusted. Try your best to move on with your life without him.

Urgent advice needed on what?

I couldn't care less if he is unhappy.

Maybe she is pregnant, maybe she isn't.

Not your circus, not your monkeys. Run fast in the other direction. Leave them to their crazy.

So, if you got pregnant by him 9 weeks ago (sorry for your loss) then him cheating and moving out must have been very recent, is that right?

He's playing a game with you OP. Wanting to keep things secret. He's trying to cover all his bases so that if you don't take him back he can keep things going with the OW until he finds some his next conquest. The only urgent advice you need is to steer clear and kick his ass into touch.

Please listen to advice. He left you unable to feed your children and no money. You keep posting more and more terrible things he's done. What will it take for you to walk away?

If she was ready to attack you I wouldn’t say she was pregnant. Not sure who would want to endanger their unborn babies life by fighting with other people.

She’s clearly upset that he has been to speak to you and is jealous, given how she and your husband got together.

Don’t take him back. If it isn't going to be her, it will be someone else.

Aaww bless him.. so things aren't working out quite as planned for him so he wants to come home...

FUCK THAT OP.. keep your dignity self respect and walk the fuck away from this waste of space. Christ almighty

Thank you everyone.
Yes he has treated me badly, very badly! I kept my distance with him and only communicated via email about the kids and nothing else. I was stupid to engage in conversation and meet him, I stupidly heard him out. If I had known intentions were what they were I wouldn't have gone.
You are right that's why he wanted me to keep secret what we discussed. He wanted his cake and eat it.
Yes it was only recent he left. Seven weeks ago today! He left me to lose our child and sit at the hospital on my own because he was with her.

So what now op ?

You went to discuss your relationship and the whole shit show with your 7 year old daughter in tow?!

No, the OW took her seven year old with her whilst she kicked off. I was at home.
I have no idea what to do or where to go from here. I just feel incredibly down and shit!