Am I being paranoid about DH phone?

[Turnthebassup]

Full disclosure I’m DHs 3rd wife. His first two marriages broke down because he was unfaithful. (Not with me).

He has a second phone. His first phone is a work phone and the second phone he bought to play a game which he has been addicted to for years (chess). He did play it on his work phone but about a year ago he bought this second phone, apparently because his work were monitoring phone use and he didn’t want personal apps on there (although he does use it for lots of other stuff it is his main phone). When he first got the new phone he was on it quite a bit playing chess. Not secretive with it at all. I haven’t seen him on it for months. About a month ago I noticed the phone had moved from his bedside drawer. I asked him where it was as I thought one of the kids might have it and he said he’d been playing chess and left it in his office.

I’m not even going to try and make up a lie about snooping on the phone, I actively went looking for it today. I found it eventually in his office, in a bottom drawer (not hidden but not on view either). It’s fully charged but has a 10 digit pin to even get into it. I wouldn’t even know where to start to unlock it.

Just this alone and his history, would that get your suspicions up?

Nothing has changed about his/our day to day life. He is on call quite often but hasn’t been called out more than usual. We go to the same gym. He works away occasionally but again, the same amount as usual.

Both affaires were colleagues. Classic boss/employee story

Definitely ask him to unlock it in front of you. If he refuses... you have your answer.

It seems likely that he is up to his old ways again doesnt it ? Many charming older men have form for this sort of thing ,and are often in positions of power! I find the whole thing about playing games in his 2nd phone quite baffling TBH .Unless hes on it during work time ,why would it matter? The fact he hasnt been on it for so long , and now he is .Plus its fully charged with a 10 pin code screams Bright Red Flag to me!

I would hide it too and see if he gets upset about it

Why would he need such a complicated passcode on it when he only uses it for chess?

Second phone.... for games yeah right...

Why would he need a second phone I mean!

I think you need to take out something or he can track it

If there's nothing to hide he'll unlock it in front of you. He has form, so will understand. If he refuses you have your answer.

Try his mobile number, without the 0 as passcode?

Definitely fishy. And two divorces due to cheating? Sorry OP but if he hasn't cheated on you yet, he will. He clearly lacks a moral compass.

And don't let him try the whole wounded "you should trust me" act. His history proves you have every reason to be suspicious. If he won't unlock and hand you his phone, there's your answer.

Is he around 49/50?

How did you not laugh your ass off when you heard him say his vows out loud at your wedding? He certainly can't be faithful or trustworthy with you if he wasn't with his first TWO wives! Did you think THREE TIMES the charm?!

Yes around 49/50 why?

He is 49

He’s on his way home, I’ve just spoken to him

Good luck OP.

He sounds familiar.

Anyway, best of luck.

He’s home I’m just keeping myself busy for a bit. I don’t want a row I’m just going to calmly ask him to unlock it

My Bil is on his third marriage. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

Best of luck op. But tbh I think you know what’s coming

Yeah you're doing the right thing - just calmly explain your discomfort ask him to unlock. X

If you haven't asked him or he didn't unlock it, why don't you just take the SIM out and put it in a different phone?

Just been through a similar thing with (now ex) H. I asked him to unlock the phone and show me messages between him and the woman I suspected. He refused.