Would you dump him for lying he had a job?

[ploddyttt]

I started seeing a guy for 5 months now.
He told me he worked at the airport as a baggage handler.
Didn't think anything of it,a couple of times a week he would take pics of the airport terminal and him sat in the cafe on his "break"
Anyway I found out he doesn't work at the airport he is unemployed.
So not only did he lie but he went to some extremes to make me think he had a job.
(I'm sure there's a film somewhere like this but can't remember the name)
Tbh I don't care he doesn't have a job if he is actively looking etc
I just find it creepy going to the airport to take pics etc
What would you do ?

If he is unemployed and going to those lengths to lie, run for the fucking hills!!! That's beyond lying and plain head fuck weird

Dump him -you don't need any emotional baggage from a lying,faux airport baggage handler

Dump.
It won't be the last thing he lies about.
It's also potential cocklodger territory.
I had an ex who was working when I met him but he lied about what turned out to be a very shady employment history. Sacked a couple of times. Randomly quitting jobs to pursue hobbies and living off savings until they ran out and then getting a job again.
It didn't really come out until we had been living together 2 years in a foreign country and he got sacked - told me he had quit so he could spend more time learning the language. But his ex-boss told me he was sacked because he was bone idle. He was bone idle at home too and just lazed around playing on the computer all day.

Dump now. At least you know after 5 months.
I mean obviously shit happens sometimes and there's no shame in being unemployed as long as there is a good reason for it (ie. not just because you can't be arsed) and you are making an effort to get a job. The fact that he went to elaborate lengths to cover it up makes it seem very dodgy.

Agree it speaks of a serious character flaw.
Who wants to be with a liar....you never know where you are with them and honesty and trust are just so important and you can't get anywhere without them.

What is a cocklodger by the way? I like the phrase but don't know it.

Dump.

Could not be with someone who lies, especially big lies like having a job they erm actually don't have.

Dump

I can't stand lying like that. Also not having a stable job is a bit of a time off for me too.

Out of curiosity how did things like paying for dates and stuff go? Did he pay his way? Or come up with loads of excuses? Because dating can be an expensive activity

Please get rid!
He lied, what else could he have lied about?

Trust me from experience one lie always leads to more
I totally get the whole trying to impress, but after five month he was certainly not going to tell you and what makes it worse you had to find out for your self and by accident!

Do yourself a favour and run. You deserve so much better x

hes quite comfortable lying to you isnt he

Dump. Anyone going to those length to back up a lie can never be trusted about anything.

What a weirdo !

I agree, I would ditch him. I dated a guy for 8 months last year. He made out he 'worked from home' fixing phones, ipads, consoles etc but he was actually unemployed. Then he admitted he was signed off from work due to 'OCD' then i found his doctors note which states he wasn't fit to work cos he was an alcoholic.
The lying is bad enough, but the elaborate way he has done it makes it WAY worse. If he can lie like this about a job, I dread to think what else he would lie about.

Dump

And the film I think was The Great Gatsby

But how do we know he's lying?

Several benefits you can claim from DWP whilst working.

What did the letter actually say?

Have you spoken to him?

What did the letter actually say?

Get rid! He's a fucking liar!

It was Jobseeker's Allowance and the letter was about an apt for a course through a agency called Ingeus (I googled and they work with unemployed)

I wouldn't dump him. Perhaps he was ashamed to admit he had no job. I would however ask him why he felt he couldn't be honest with you and say how hurt you were. If he is doing a course then that is a positive start to get a job.

If he is definitely unemployed i would ild dump him.

Totally get him being ashamed. But the lengths he he has gone to,his quite worrying

I dont think I would ever trust him.

Not just a liar but a total con artist. The lengths he's gone to scream 'hey I have a cluster b personality disorder!'to me.

Sooo.. have you actually spoken to him
About it?

You could perhaps try to excuse his lie because he's embarrassed/ashamed but what about going to the airport and taking photos? That is disturbing.

Being unemployed is not of itself a reason to dump someone. But lying about it in a calculating was most definitely is. He takes photos to convince you he is something he is not. He is a liar. As long as you reconcile with yourself that he may always be lying about something or other then stay in a relationship with him. Me? I would run and not look back.

If you try and justify his actions and reason that it was reasonable behaviour or that somehow you deserve it, you start to exhibit the characteristics looked for by a cocklodger - someone who doesn't value themesleves and excuses any kind of behaviour in order to simply have a boyfriend.

Of course there's nothing wrong with being unemployed or having some bad things happen, but your lying and hiding a big important thing like this ffrom your partner isn't the basis for a grown up relationship.

right now hes just lied to you. now imagine 5 years away and you have DC with him. Youre home and hes leaving at 8am for work every morning. few months later you find out he owes £3k as hes been pretending to go to work every day and borrowing money from everyone you know. You have no money to feed your DC, are embarassed that you have to sort the problem out, are in debt to family members hes borrowed from and hes been sat in the airport taking selfies everyday again.

No. No. No. leave now.