Smitten

[Smitten81]

I’ve just started a relationship after meeting someone on Plenty Of Fish. I’m recently divorced and have 2 daughters : 9 and 7.
He is great, attentive, affectionate and we enjoy each other’s company.
This is my first relationship after my husband and I am totally smitten. He has not been in a relationship for over 6 years and before that he was in a long term for over 10.
We have friended each other on Social Media and I have friended his family on FB but we haven’t met in real life yet.
It’s 8 weeks into the relationship and I adore him and think I may be falling in love.
He seems to be on the same wavelength and I am just wanting on advice on how quickly to introduce him to my daughters and the best way to do this.
My ex knows about him and we are on good terms.

It's HIS job to fix though. Don't be too smitten over a fixer upper!

The poor guy is probably mortified and if he hasn't been in a relationship for years hardly surprising
Maybe just wear those thick condoms to reduce sensitivity, they apparently help

desperatesux is right. There are things he could do. Don't let him be lazy about this.

Mmmm food for thought..: maybe that’s why he hasn’t had many lasting relationships. Obviously I don’t want to know what his sex life was like these women and I don’t want him to tell me! That’s between them.

He’s not mortified that’s why I think it’s happened previous. We are using condoms.

So he's not mortified? Most men would be I think. Seems he wants you to put up and shut up?

Maybe just wear those thick condoms to reduce sensitivity, they apparently help

Apparently, my DH used to take painkillers.

No he’s not mortified or if he is he hides it well. He just says that I turn him on too much and he can’t control himself .
I’ve never had it happen before so I just took it as face value and know after reading these posts I am thinking it’s always been an issue. As I said he makes sure I’m satisfied first so I figure this is his work around.

What type of painkillers ?

Sounds like he won't address the problem then. "He can't control himself" is he 16?

No he’s 40

I know you're smitten, but saying you turn him on too much etc; is purely a cop out.

Congratulations OP! That's lovely news, and of course you should shout it from the rooftops and allow yourself to be deliriously happy. Lots of posters are very negative, which may speak more to their own experiences and neuroses. I find MN quite negative like that, compared to my friends.

I agree, though, it might be a bit early to introduce him to your children. Maybe wait till 6 months?

Re the sex thing, it's ridiculous of posters to suggest he's blaming you for his shortcoming, or that he's being shady or strange. He's probably embarrassed but doesn't want to make a big thing of it. Which is completely natural. I think this is something you can broach and fix together, but it's not a reason to write him off just yet.

Take it slowly, enjoy it for what it is. Sex takes a while to settle in so if you are happy stick with it.

Do not introduce to your kids just yet. Give it a few more months.
I hope it all goes well.

Posters aren't emotionally involved and we are anonymous, so it's a good place for advice. We can look at things differently and point out things the OP may not have thought of. I've posed questions under a different username before, and listened to the different viewpoints from disinterested people, and wouldn't hestitate to do so again.

As for the sex, I wouldn't be too concerned as long as he's making sure you're satisfied and giving you lots of foreplay. It's not like he's being massively selfish about it.

If you really like PIV and just orgasming through foreplay isn't enough, then you might be a bit stuck, but if you're in it for the long haul there might come a time when you're ok with it being relatively quick so if it doesn't bother you I wouldn't be put off